A few months ago we learned that the new Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Hiegl, and Tom Selleck movie "Five Killers" would be shooting in our neighborhood. Our subdivision is actually split into two parts, with the majority of the shooting being done in the other one, but some being shot right here on our idyllic suburban streets.
Since we don't frequently have movie stars filming around our homes, it's been a pretty big deal around these parts, with neighbors buzzing about an extras casting call and many folks attempting to interact Ashton and the director on twitter.
I hadn't really thought too much about it all (you know, Wedding of the Century approaching peoples!) until a guy, who turned out to be the stunt location coordinator, knocked on my door a couple of weeks back and asked if I'd be willing to let them crash a car through our back fence.
Certainly not something you get asked every day.
After he added that they'd replace and repair everything, I asked what our next door neighbor, a sensible engineering type had said, and he gave me an odd look and asked "Why do you want to know?"
Seemed like a fair question to me, since if they ran it through our fence, it would have to go through their fence, and if he said "yes," then perhaps we'd be interested in doing it.
Even so, I had to wait to discuss it all with the huz and get back to him.
As more details were revealed, we were told that it would shoot two to three nights and would involve five houses on our streets. We researched compensation for these types of things, and calculated (as a group) what it would take for us to participate - two nights where we'd probably get no sleep, a good couple of weeks without our yards and fences, and a lot of movie types (some very cute movie types) traipsing around our yard and perhaps taking gratuitous photos with our children that we can send to the grandmas and say "LOOK IT'S ME AND MAGNUM PI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our completely reasonable requests (which did not include me licking Tom Selleck's mustache I SWEARTOGOD) were met with a $350 offer, to which most of us sort of rolled our eyes at.
Don't get me wrong. We didn't expect to make any money off this whole thing, nor are we trying to take advantage of a poor HUGE GIGANTIC MOVIE STUDIO who's building a pool for one of the model homes for one stunt scene and that apparently just wants to offer a few naive Southern families a few bucks to basically take over their yards and homes for a few days.
OHMAHGAW Ashtin Kucher jest used mah pisspot y'all - maybe Ah'll be on TMZ er somethang!
But most of us are bunch of cynical Northerners who'd much rather walk up the hill, plant our asses on a bunch of lawn chairs, and ogle the movie stars while they trash our neighbors' backyards and keep their kids up at night.
Let Tom Selleck Watch begin!