Motherhood Uncensored

A tale of two fridges

It was the best of times.

A move-in gift of a simple white refrigerator, when we could sleep late on a Saturday and that meant 9am. And not 6:45am.

But then we had a kid. And we moved. And had to put our fridge in storage in a very hot Mississippi storage facility while we lived with our in-laws for a year.

[That part is really inconsequential to this story but I feel obligated to share that because I never got a shirt that says "I lived with in-laws and am still alive to speak of it"].

And then we bought a house. And had another kid.

It was the worst of times.

 

Our cool white fridge was too small for a family of five.

It leaked.

 

And then made ice.

 

But in the wrong place.

Then Kenmore offered to host a Mominatrix book signing event in Chicago in April [Tagline that didn't make the cut: The harder side of Sears. I still think it's awesome].

And I said "Kenmore? Really?" and they were like "Yes! We like the Mominatrix!" and then they invited lots of bloggers, and gave away a washer and dryer, and also hedge trimmers, because they have a wicked sense of humor. 

I then realized that Kenmore was pretty cool.

And I also saw what I was missing in my life:

 

A cute chef with tattoos.

A sexy mixologist.

[He made a Mominatrix cocktail].

[Good thing I was pregnant so I couldn't actually drink 12. Like some people I know].

[Maybe my math is bad - two twelve - they both start with "tw"].

And a bigger fridge.

They may or may not have caught me humping the fridges.

A few months later they said, "Hey, why don't you get rid of that crappy fridge of yours and we'll give you a gigantic one to try out."

[Okay, so it wasn't exactly like that but close enough].

And I said "Wow, so who do I have to sleep with?"

[I didn't really say that because Kenmore is a family friendly joint and all, but I may or may not have thought that].

And they said "No, we just really want to know what you think about it!"

Then my husband forgave me for all the rotten posts I wrote about him.

[Heh].

[They weren't really that rotten by the way. He is pretty goofy sometimes].

And this beauty appeared at my house.

[I've since taken off the label. But not the plastic. Seriously. I'm a little ghetto like that].

I told my husband that I'd be writing a little post series sponsored by Kenmore here on my blog inspired by his very own words. And that he would now have a white, leaky, ice-block making beer fridge. 

[Look for more thoughts on this amazing refrigerator, and my other corresponding posts called "Domestic Zero" coming soon].

["The Wrong Spatula" just didn't have the same ring].

[That's sort of an inside "you have to have read my blog for awhile" kind of joke].

[Kenmore sent me this fridge. You should follow them on Twitter. They didn't tell me to say that but you should].

Going natural

Edited to add: You can learn more about Johnson's Natural Line on their new site (more updates coming - this is just a teaser!). And if you're interested in getting your hands on them, they'll be available for pre-order at Target.com on July 4!)

The ongoing joke in our house is that we love kid's natural body products, we just hate watching our $15 for bubble bath get dumped down the drain when our kids decide that a tub full of bubbles is just not enough.

And so I had this in my mind when Johnson's asked me if I'd be interested in working with them on their new Natural line.

Of course, there are a bunch of good reasons I pay good money for natural products. I've got two girls with very sensitive skin and eczema. And I'm not so into slathering my kids in chemicals.

Now don't get me wrong. I definitely beat to a drum that's of the lighter green variety. We still reach for whatever bottle we have in our shower sometimes. And I've yet to find a great natural aerosol sunscreen and so we often use mainstream kid's brands.

But it's definitely on my mind. I don't grab and purchase blindly.

So when Johnson's introduced me to their new Natural products, I went in with an open, but skeptical mind.

I also said "It's about time!" because, well, it is!

I could go into tons of details about how they've used their expertise to create a 98% natural and free of all known allergens, dyes, and the "P" words we all try to avoid (pthalates, parabens).  Or how it doesn't smell like a lavender forest that wafts from the container when you open it, but still has a nice, light scent (they use the term Allerfree which means no essential oils) because that's important to my husband aka "THE NOSE."

Or that it's extremely affordable - 18 oz Head to Toe baby wash for $6.49. Seriously.

Intriguing, right?

I definitely thought so.

And so, after using them for a good few months, I'm pretty stoked. And so is my wallet.

You'll have to wait until July to get your hands on the new Johnson's Natural line. But I can promise you that they really listened to what moms wanted, and in my humble opinion, it's definitely worth waiting for. And I'm very excited to be working with them as a spokesperson for it.

[Disclaimer: My participation as a paid spokesperson for the Johnson's Natural line (which includes this post as well as other duties) was contingent on me actually liking these products. Obviously I do.]

Project "Motherhood Uncensored is Doing it with T-Mobile All Month Long"

*Edited to add: I'll have last week's winners posted tomorrow sometime. Meanwhile, answer my new question - more prizes for everyone.*

When Scott from Digital Influence Group *Hi Scott* contacted me last month with an email titled "A New Home For Your Readers" I was a bit skeptical. Granted, he wasn't asking me if I wanted a biggger peniss, but I'm always a bit wary about these types of emails.

As it turns out, he was pitching this big gigantic widget that is undoubtedly flashing at you right now in collaboration with T-Mobile. To be honest, I didn't fully understand exactly what the heck it was, but he did read my blog, and was genuinely interested in working with me so I responded.

Basically, I told him that if he's offering a few bags of $20s, then I'd be happy to discuss. And wouldn't you know, he actually emailed me back!

Look, I know the thing is huge, but what made it appealing (other than the cash) was that it incorporated my cute header in the side bar (cool, right?), my blog name in the widget, and I got to ask questions that I really was curious about -- I mean honestly, I really do want to know how you taught your kids your phone number because hell if I can get her to sing anything but the numbers in the correct order from 1-10.

And the best part is that my readers (yes you, even you wayward Googler here to bash me about vaccines! Hi! Welcome! Come win a T-Mobile mug you asshole!) can win prizes every day. Yes, you answer the question in the widget, I pick at random, and some not so hugely great or some pretty cool (depending on the day and what they happen to have to send you) prize will land at your door.

Plus, you can apparently enter to win a new house. Can't complain about that one. Except if you do win it, you must have me over to visit. Unless you are the other creepy wayward Googler who innocently enough (I'm sure) seems to love all kinds of boobs, especially droopers; You sir can feel free to enjoy the house all on your very lonesome.

So combine a smart pitch, a smart social media guy with a great Boston accent, and the need for some extra cash due to no one but BlogHer conference attendees flying this summer (here's hoping my husband has a job through the Fall, people), and you have what I'm calling: Project Motherhood Uncensored is Doing it with T-Mobile All Month Long.

Now go answer and win a fucking blanket already.

Because You Never Forget Your First Password

Yeah, I only wish that was the case. I went from my dog, to my kid, to every other predictable password in the world and I still lose track.

Don't even ask me how my husband comes up with his doozies, which, in theory, are great because they are so complicated, but then even he can't remember them.

Not so great then.

So, I'm here to say "thanks" to my new sponsor Innovation Lab who offers us goofballs an Internet Password Organizer. Perhaps it's not the most exciting gift in the world, but pop a few sports tickets or a gift certificate to Circuit City and you could have one happy dad.

If you'd like to give one a whirl, leave a comment on this post with one of your passwords. You know, an old one that it won't matter if you tell me (or buy it now and save 20% off with code "DAD").

And feel free to make up funny ones if you're scared that I'm going to go try and check your email or something.

And here's one of mine: MYDOGTOBY

Original, I know.

[The contest runs through June 30. Only one entry per blog, per person, per goofy nerd like me who can't remember passwords].

Swear-Bys, and an April Giveaway

So is it just me or are you curious to know people's favorite stuff? I could care less if Angelina wore it or used it or tattooed it on her ass.

But my fellow mamas? I'm all over it.

Now I know it's a bit presumptuous to assume that you give two flying craps about what I love, but hell, when did that ever stop me? So, I've compiled a bunch of my favorites, along with the awesome giveaway from one of my April sponsors, mom-run business Itty Bitty Lady Bug Boutique (coincidentally, Cecilia reads my blog and is extremely friendly and generous, so on that alone you should go visit her site. But she's giving something away too, you know, if you're motivated by free stuff).

So here goes (and I was not paid to say I like these things. I just like them. The end):

Maternity: Bumpstyle. You say $79 for a shirt, and I say, emphatically YES. I wore it from DAY ONE of my pregnancy through the 4th trimester. It's a one size shirt that is long so it covers the damn maternity pants even when you're gihugic, it's super soft and comfy, and seriously, you will get MORE than your average use out of it.

Sling/Carrier: If you saw me at BlogHer, or sadly, in EVERY single picture of me at BlogHer, I was either wearing Drew in a Rockin' Baby Sling or a Baby Hawk. They are by far my favorites for a few reasons. Rockin' Baby (the pouches) are sized but they have zippers on the shoulder so you can size it up or down. And it's a thinner shoulder strap -- way more comfy. The Baby Hawk is sturdy and comfortable and hands down (or off) the best. I have heard from my BFF that Baby Bisou rocks too. Again, you'll get your money's worth.

Jewelry: If only my son wasn't so grabby (magnetic closure), I'd wear my Blend Creations necklace every day. I purchase an ox bone one that has a graphic inscription with the same meaning as my middle name (Chinese), but I love her washi pendants too. They are simply gorgeous and you'll wear it all the time.

Not So Common Toddler Board Books: The Kit Allen Seasons series of four books is my daughter's fave and now my son's too. She could "read" it since each page is just one word (great for quick bedtimes too!). Adorable.

Baby Flat Ware: Since Drew insists on feeding himself, I'm loving the Boon Benders. They rock. Now I realize they didn't get great Amazon reviews, but let me tell you, they work for him. I bend, he scoops, no food on shirt. And they are BPA-free.

Diaper Cream: I was recently introduced to Diaper Goop thanks to that feature of mine in the Arkansas Democrat Gazette. He's a local Little Rock guy that made this very goopy stuff. Now, it's not sweet smelling (better than Desitin, mind you), but it works. Anytime Drew's butt was red, I slopped it on there (it's like hair cream stuff) and he was fine the next day. It feels very natural which is good because I loathe the smell of Desitin. (ew). Plus, it has no zinc oxide so I'm betting it's good for cloth dipes. Seriously, go check it out!

Feel free to share your swear-bys with me in the comments. Links are welcome.

And now, if you want to win a $50 to Itty Bitty Lady Bug Boutique, just peruse her shop and tell me what you are coveting in the comments. I'll pick one winner at random on April 30. You may enter only once. And congrats to March Giveaway Winner, Karianna!

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If you want to chat with some of your favorite bloggers tonight (woo!), then hop onto my radio podcast and listen OR call (646) 915-8634. Plus, I've got a slew of great guests lined up for April.

And pssssssssst I forgot to mention, the names? Yeah, those were Quinlan's picks. April Fool's :)