I still remember the day I got my very first report card in the first grade and my teacher called them out last name first.
"CHASE, KRISTEN" she yelled.
"CHASE KRISTEN!!!" some idiot in the back of the room screamed, and thus began a new game at recess.
I was devastated with my horrible last name for about a week until the kids figured out another game to play and the silly game played at my expense was yesterday's new.
Turns out Quinlan is getting her own fair share of giggles at the expense of her unique name, as she shared with me the other day as I was opening a box of spoils to add to her pretzel tin collection.
"LOOK AT THESE AMAZING MUGS!" I screeched, hold the pretzel handle and showcasing the beer can shaped ceramic mugs with her name printed in shiny gold letters, ala 1975.
Quinlan barely smiled, which was completely uncharacteristic of her.
"I told the kids in my class that I was named after a pretzel company and some of the boys laughed at me" she sighed, which actually made me laugh out loud.
Not the empathic response I was going for. But seriously, the stuff kids find funny. I mean, pretzels? At least save the giggles for kids named after vaginal creams or something, guys.
Pretzels are awesome. And tasty!
So I told her my own sordid tale, which seemed to lighten the mood, and then reminded her that people laugh when they're uncomfortable or can't seem to find the words or actual emotion they want to express.
"One day, when you're selling those tins for thousands of dollars, you can laugh at how ridiculous they were," I said, rolling the ceramic mugs back up in bubble wrap.
Then I asked her who it was, exactly, and after she told me, I did what every parent would probably do in the same situation:
I showed her a photo I have of him wearing a very lovely pair of Tory Burch flats.