After the whole Wellbutrin fail and my first post IUD period right around the corner, (or uh, official one, since yeah, me and pantyliners are like THIS nowadays), I was pretty much willing to try anything to avoid yet another two weeks in asshole town.
And so I decided to cut out carbs, sugar, and booze.
I realize this sounds completely counterintuitive because really, after some tough times with my oldest daughter sending us back to therapy and Sandy Hook, the natural tendency for most humans is to eat and drink large amounts of unhealthy things.
Now I'm not following any sort of plan or anything that's named after a person or a city in Florida, I'm just eating a lot of protein and vegetables and steering clear of carbs, sugar and booze, which by all accounts was almost my entire diet.
The first few days were really hard.
But now it's just become a regular habit, because during what I'm pretty sure was PMS, I didn't yell once.
That's right. No irritability, or feeling exhausted, or wanting to cry myself into a corner.
Okay, that's not completely true. I was still weepy and a little anxious. But no yelling or gut screaming or any scaring of my children of any kind.
Basically, me. Back again. And even in some of my old pants!
(Of course, with my luck, any weight that I have lost has come straight off my boobs and not really anywhere else).
It's not like I don't have any emotion. And my kids still annoy me sometimes. But my ability to handle it has gotten increasingly better.
And by the way, if you're wondering, the first two days of the post-IUD period were, uh, interesting. But I'll be honest, it didn't last very long (which is typical for me anyway). So either I'm an anomaly, or that wasn't my real period.
But hey, who cares because I'm not an asshole!
And I can eat as much salami as a I want.
The refrigerator, lunchmeat kind, smart asses.
Wow. Just stumbled upon your blog. I wasn't a child of abuse myself but I was a victim in my adult life. It's not something you easily recover from. However, a wise person once told me that "you are not to blame for what was done to you." From that I determined that I was responsible for what I do and how I let it affect me. It's only been 4 years for me and I still find it a struggle. I've come a long way and therapy helped but in the end I had to make the choices myself. It's so hard to do that. You know what is right but the abuse keeps you from being strong enough to go through with it or makes it difficult to accomplish. It breeds fear inside of us that those who have never suffered abuse can't understand. While I'm sure you can't see it now, I know your kids will someday look back and realize while you did for them. I remember doing that for my mom over other issues. I think I was almost 30 when that happened but it really changed my view of her struggles. Someday, your kids will do the same. Just hang in there.
Posted by: American Punjaban PI | January 04, 2013 at 08:19 PM
Oh wow. I haven't checked to see if losing booze, carbs, and sugar will change my mood, but since basically ALL Caribbean food involves some combination of these - I may not make it. I have a WHOLE black cake (rum, wine, sugar, fruit, and flour) sitting on my table waiting to be eaten, and a host of other goodies that I had no intention of sharing, let alone throwing away. We actually have a dessert called "sugar cake". I don't think a good mood is worth getting rid of black cake... that alone will make me an a**hole. I am supposed to be joining a friend in eating clean, so I may hold off for a while. Thank goodness wine and rum together are a perfect preservative.
Posted by: Eva | December 28, 2012 at 12:24 PM
I cut out grains and sugar and dairy and was feeling and looking a lot better, but then the holidays.... It's hard when you have a houseful of people with you can you can't control what food is in the house. So, I'm doing a week or so of knowing cookies will give me headaches but choosing to eat them anyway, etc. My plan is new year, clean slate, chuck out everything I shouldn't have but can't resist, and try again.
Posted by: Korinthia Klein | December 27, 2012 at 09:06 AM
Ooh. That's really unfortunate. Feta?
Posted by: Karen | December 24, 2012 at 12:43 AM
Yes Karen. CHEESE. Though I'm lactose intolerant which SUCKS. I love cheese. Wah.
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | December 23, 2012 at 09:12 PM
So, on this plan, I can still have cheese, yes? Because Pissytown without cheese would hurt me deeply.
Posted by: Karen | December 22, 2012 at 08:01 PM
Ugh. I have made the same discovery. Which I supposed should be exciting, since I just solved my massive mood disorder. But the carbs. And sugar. Why does it have to be them?
Anyways, yeah. It's been pretty revelatory to go off and then notice the difference if I slip up.
Posted by: Kristen Howerton | December 21, 2012 at 11:10 PM
Ugh, I know Sarah G. It's ridiculous, right?
Mmmm Christmas nuts ... that's what I'm eating instead of cookies. But I feel SO MUCH BETTER it's almost a little frightening.
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | December 21, 2012 at 08:46 PM
We've been limiting carbs and booze too...and we're feeling awesome. Plus seeing the fat fall off doesn't hurt either!
So glad you found something that's working for now!
Posted by: Christy | December 21, 2012 at 08:00 PM
Could you possibly discover this, and share this, at any worse time of the year? Or maybe it's a better time of the year... At any rate, kudos to you and best of luck to us all!
Posted by: Sarah G | December 21, 2012 at 04:12 PM
Off to bury my face in a platter of meat.
Posted by: Amanda | December 21, 2012 at 09:26 AM