Motherhood Uncensored

IUDidit

I've been hemming and hawing for over a year now, but the UTI and the "oh shit I'm pregnant no wait maybe that's ovulation oh no maybe not let's spend $400 in pregnancy tests" kind of got to me. 

Last year, I was angry that my husband would not get a vasectomy. So I decided that on priciple, I would not get an IUD. 

Now don't get me wrong. I still find it completely and utterly ridiculous, but now I can be angry AND safe. I figured the "I'll show you and your fear of the knife-less snip with my gigantic pregnant belly" wasn't exactly the look I was going for, so I bit the bullet and got the IUD. 

The Paraguard. The copper one. The one that makes you bleed like your insides have been cut out. 

Or so I hear. 

But hey, at least it doesn't have the crazy juice that makes your hair fall out and gives you acne! 

My husband decided to take the older three kids up to Canada this week to ski, and instead of going along and leaving poor passportless Bridget with my in-laws for a week, I figured I'd stay home and enjoy two hours at the midwife's office. 

I got a two-fer: Annual + IUD, which by the way isn't covered by insurance so MERRY CHRISTMAS KRISTEN!

Well that and it's crazy time at work for me HAVE YOU SEEN OUR PRETTY HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE?

If you only knew all the work and sweat and emails (huge props to Liz, Julie, and Kari, or just hugs - are we still using props?) that went into that puppy but it's awesome and go look to see what category is my favorite I'm sure you can guess and we're giving away $1800 in prizes. HOLY SHIT!

I digress.

But yes, I got the IUD and while I wouldn't call it a ball of laughs to have someone poke your cervix, and do the "oh oops your cervix just doesn't want to stay still" at least there will be no more babies in my immediate future. 

And even better, I got to chat with my midwife about the two crazy weeks, which apparently happens to most women in their 30s, and is really unavoidable and really only made more bearable with exercise and maybe drugs. 

I should have just asked her to slap me in the face a few times because that might have felt better.

Since I'm already exercising and still a raging lunatic for two weeks out of the month (but yay, according to Twitter and Facebook I am not alone), I decided to accept her offer for a Wellbutrin prescription based on experiences of others.

Yes, I realize it's all personal, so feel free to tell me how much you hated Wellbutrin and it turned you into a crazed vampire, but in my informal poll, it won. She also said I might lose weight and might even be happier as opposed to just regular and sure, I'll take some happy right now. 

She also said I might try to take it only half of the month, which I hear many people are doing, not necessarily with Wellbutrin but with other low dose anti-depressants. 

Either way, I will report back on my bloody massacres of periods and my mood swings. I know you'll be waiting anxiously to hear ALL ABOUT IT. 

Feel free to tell me how much you hate your IUD and how crazy Wellbutrin makes you in the comments. But don't be mad if I read them with my eyes closed. 

Alone again, now with more puke

Even though pretty much every year my husband works on Thanksgiving, it still really sucks. But this year, my kids are passing around a poorly-timed stomach bug.

So it sucks A LOT.

Though I will say, it's better than what I thought it was.

(Note to self: Never Google symptoms while hormonal because you might give yourself a panic attack and scare the crap out of your kids). 

On the bright side, I won't be cooking, that's for sure. But on the down side, I'm living with the fear of getting it myself, which is scaring me shitless. 

YAY POOP PUNS FTW! 

The irony in all this (oh yes, there is irony) is that in an attempt to have some control in his misery of having to work on a holiday, my husband put in for a trip that gives him Thanksgiving with his own family in Philadelphia.

So he'll be enjoying all the boxed stuffing, canned cranberry, and joyous company of my in-laws while I'll be trying to keep my head out of the toilet. 

On second thought, that doesn't sound so bad in comparison. Plus, there's a good chance that if I get it, he will too. And I'd much rather be puking at home than at my in-laws. Or on a plane (which I've done, unfortunately). 

And hey, at least I have Edward Cullen to keep me company.

Hey PR people: Think first, email later.

I've been pretty surprised at the business emails I've received over the last few days with action requests and "Hey, we haven't heard from 'so and so' yet" even though I just told you to email her yesterday which you know, HURRICANE SANDY! 

I understand that it's tough when you work online and don't know where people are based but then you take a moment to look at their email signature, take a quick second to Google their name or their area code and realize maybe they don't have power and your email about that gadget isn't as pressing as finding running water. I can hear it now:

I mean, if I didn't get affected by Hurricane Sandy did it actually really happen? -Some PR intern in Chicago, 2012 

I admit that working online forced me into the  trap of expecting instant email replies because for brief moments I forgot that some people don't have their computers on their laps or their phones in their pockets all the time. 

Now that I have more regulated working hours, I try to use my phone email sparingly because unless it's a dire emergency, which in my business is relative GOTTA SCOOP THE HARRY POTTER E-BOOKS but I figure if the email requires more than a few words, it can wait until I get back to my computer. 

And if it's from a PR person who is just following up for the 3rd time in 2 days or offering a sample or SNAP sorry too late for the sample because you took too long which means you were not as excited or grateful as the other people I emailed (PS LIFE, or, HURRICANE SANDY, or GET A FREAKING GRIP), I delete it. 

At any other time, I'd just ignore or politely thank them and go on my merry way. But when there was a major natural catastrophe that is still affecting millions of people, including many of the mothers who work for me, if I don't delete it I'll say something not so nice. 

So please think first, email later. 

Because not only does it make you look ridiculous, it doesn't reflect well on your company either.