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October 25, 2012


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Appreciation to my father who shared with me about this weblog, this webpage is truly amazing.

Love this post! It is such a journey. This summer I found a better place in my head and with my body when I started taking the ME (Metablic Effect) class at my gym. The over-scheduled freak in me loved the idea of an intense class that was 30 minutes. The woman who was actively grieving and struggling with the illness and impending death of a loved one needed the white noise and stress relief that this class provided and in the process changed the way I looked at myself and how I strong I felt. It was just what I needed for my mind and body. This class made me realize how I was eating wasn't healthy and give it what I needed to keep going. Months later I've slacked off on the class a bit but my mind set remains healthier. I still have my poisonous thoughts but I can better over-ride them. It's journey that I bet will never end.

Well said! I've been having this inner conversation for the past couple of years. And I've finally decided that I'm never going to make a size 14 (UK) again. Truthfully, I'd be happy to get into a size 16 jeans - but if an 18 is where it's at for me, then so be it. Now all I have to do is slap down that inner voice permanently.

I'm going through this now. I just turned 40 & gained 10 pounds in the span of just a few months. I've always been tiny & now I weigh what I did when I was preggo (which in reality still wasn't a lot) but I feel horrible about myself. I don't want to spend the money on new jeans & slacks for work. It's also like admitting I will never be a size 6 again & it's depressing. So instead I'm doing crazy stupid stuff, making myself miserable.

After reading this post & writing this I'm seeing how dumb this is. I guess I need to just go shopping & be happy my family is in tact & healthy.

This was awesome. I still have 10 pounds to go to lose the baby weight. One morning I woke up and decided to do something about it. So I got a bike hitch, chucked the kids in it and have been biking 3xs a week. They love the free ride and I love my ass again.

Incidentally, I ended a friendship because the woman couldn't go a day without talking about how she was so fat (at 110 pounds). At 37, I'm OVER women like that.

R - The word PALEO makes me insane.

So true! I've lost over 60 lbs in the past 14 months or so. I'm incredibly fit (just finished my first 100 mile bike ride in a very respectable 6 hours averaging around 16 mph) and muscular. And for the first time in my life I'm at a *healthy* weight for my height and body type. Yet, when I look in the mirror, instead of seeing the lean, toned arms and legs, I see my flabby abs. You know, the ones that got stretched and compressed then stretched and compressed again in bringing my kids into the world. I tell anyone who will listen that My goal is to be fit,not thin, but, if I'm being completely honest with myself, I'm trying to convince myself of this more than whoever I'm talking to. I still have the body image of a fat girl. That bully sucks!

I stopped bullying myself awhile ago. Sure-- sometimes I sigh at how things look when in my skiivies...but I prefer to be happy than to be super thin.

Problem is the effin facebook. I swear, its a place for grown women to happily flaunt their eating disorders.

"I'm vegan now! And I ran 10 miles this morning and I am so happy to never, ever eat sugar."

Even worse is when I'm watching them push it on their children.

Um, if this is how the attractive girls think of themselves...

Actually, guys are similar (at least, my peers and I are), but I should probably get over my 15# fluctuations that happen every year.

Pretty sure I should just go ahead and set a reminder to read this post once a week. I think you should make temporary tattoos for us to buy and place on every part of our body that we spend too much precious time obsessing over. Maybe then the next time I pinch my love handles in the mirror I will see "You're beautiful. The End." and move on to way more important things. Love everything about this post Kristen. Thank you.

Keep saying it Shannon.

All I can think is 10 pounds? That's it? I have 100 pounds to loose! But I know that a pound is still a pound and even 10 pounds is hard to loose. I do need to get that a**hole out of my head. I spend so much time everyday thinking about loosing weight, what I will eat, when will I work out, will I work out, how I need to change, how I am not good enough, how people think I am gross because I am fat...the list goes on. I try hard to hold on to the truth that I am a good wife, a loving and awesome mother-to-3-boys...and repeat it everyday as often as I need to.

This is wonderful. Amen. Wish you could take up residence in my head for a while. xox

Our body types are our body types and sometimes no matter what we do, things will always stay the same or there will always be struggles. Screw the struggles, rejoice in the things that make you special. Not every person loves a 5 foot 8 Barbie Doll. Keep up with the marathon training when you can...not for the weight loss but for the accomplishment gain.


I want to be healthier, but I refused to beat myself up about where I am. I run because I like it, because it helps my mood, because if I run (and get some motherfucking sleep if the toddler every lets me) I'm not an asshole to my kids.

I want to run a 1/2, to say I did. More than that though, I want to be healthy and have my range of motion back. (for the sex positions, to be completely honest)

I work hard to make the bully in my head shut up, and this is a great reminder.

I think I need to print this out and stick it in the back of my jeans and just pull it out the hundred and fifty thousand times each day that the bully in my head comes out. Thank you thank you thank you.

Oh geez. Thanks guys. Here's to kicking the bullies in our heads' ass. (Is that even correct grammar? OH WHO CARES).

And Cara, my husband is going as one of the guys from 300, with the abs, because he has abs like that. Sigh.

I second what John said. Definitely. And secondly, this post just rocks. It was exactly what I needed to read today.

Looooooove this. You know it's super raging in my head right now because I'm trying to make a costume to pair up with my husband's Psy//Gangnam blue tux jacket, and my options are limited from that video. All my friends vetoed me being the Yellow Suit Guy. And hell-to-the-no am I going to be that freaky elevator guy. Leaving me with backup dancers in tiny sequin shorts. And deceptively-forgiving-halter/mock-turtleneck-tops-THAT-ARE-BACKLESS. A-hem. I know, so much is wrong with this comment, right :)? Anyway: perfect timing. (PS: I also feel compelled to share that this is Vegas, otherwise I would totally throw on the old Scooby Doo full-on fur suit. I look pretty good in it, and in no way is that sexified.)

And then you have those days where it's a total battle in your head because, Hello? I'm fucking brilliant and beautiful and I like myself.... but wait, I'm not SUPPOSED to like myself because I'm also... FAT. And not size 10 fat, but like size 18 fat. But I'm happy. But you shouldn't be happy. But I'm pretty good at what I do. But you're supposed to think you'd be better at it if you were thin. But... back and forth. ALL DAY LONG. I get it. I totally do.

I've spent the last few weeks really, and I mean it was following me like a shadow, struggling with shame. I blame it on my therapist making me talk about things I would normally just try to ignore. I try to remind myself that not only would my friends never say to me what I think about myself, but I would never say those kinds of things to someone else. Thanks for the reminder..

I love this, love this, love this. Every one in a while, my ED voice pops back up in my head, usually when I'm feeling bad about something else, and I have to remind myself FAT IS NOT A FEELING. Anxiety is feeling, sadness, anger, frustration, but fat is not a feeling. When we feel fat, it's something else, and we're just taking it out on something that can be controlled.

And the fat talk in society is ridiculous. I stopped subscribing to all women's magazines and stopped watching reality television and started looking around for art (my morning stumbles) and started working on my novel and that helped, a lot. Getting rid of magazines and reality TV is half the battle, in my feeling -- the fat talk there and the analysis of women's bodies is RAMPANT and I have no patience for it any more, at all. Never again will I pay attention to some form of media that makes money by slamming women's bodies in some form.

I also really got a lot out of managing Own Your Beauty at BlogHer for a year a few years ago. I'm not adding to it anymore, but the archives are still there with posts about getting good with body image that made me cry over and over. Http://www.blogher.com/own-your-beauty

The moment in this post that resonated with me: "You have a muffin top?"

If only we could look at ourselves that way all the time, huh?

I've had the asshole in my head for YEARS. I've been up, I've been down, I've eaten all the sugar cookies, I've starved on lettuce, and here's been the one constant: My husband as loved me and my body through all of it. So I decided to start at least liking my body and trying to see it through his eyes a little more. And I'm happier, too.

Hi Kristen, long time no comment. :?) You may or may not know that I recently underwent sort of a life journey to lose 75 lbs. I became a Zumba instructor and a Weight Watchers leader. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my job. But I see this kind of self-flagellation every single day. Women who are smart, accomplished, kind and beautiful tell me they're pathetic and worthless because they gained 2/10 of a pound. It's hard to straddle that line between advocating good health, and encouraging women to love themselves no matter what their size. Some days I come home exhausted from it. I wish we would take the focus off those numbers and put it on being strong and healthy. I look GOOD!! But...I'm far heavier than most women my size, because I'm very muscular. I had to get a doctor's note to work for WW because I could not get to their stipulated weight for my height. That really messed with my head and made me feel like a failure. In the end I realized I wasn't, but not because those catalysts magically disappeared. They're still there, still wreaking havoc on womens' self worth. Until we address those issues (media driven, mostly) there will always be women judging themselves and finding themselves lacking. I'm really glad you had your own realization. You are indeed a beautiful woman, in so many ways!


I had that conversation with a friend the other day and kind of went "huh, I need to cut that shit out". It's definitely a process since I am currently obsessing over the potato soup I had at lunch instead of a salad. Oy.

The bully is an ass. You're gorgeous.


And you are. I'll keep the beer cold for you.

I hear you on this one, so, so much.

You know what I did? I stopped running. Because I realized I really, really hated running. I started taking spinning classes and I love those and I look forward to those.

I don't think we ever really stop hating our body. But if you figure it out I'd love to know how. Because even at my thinnest, I still hated how I looked.

This...this is pure gold. Thank you so much for sharing your journey to better self talk.

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