Why women's clothing sizes are a bunch of horse shit

Yesterday I went shopping with a personal stylist, which sounds really fancy, I know,  but just bear with me before you start rolling your eyes back in your head.

See, I'm shooting more videos for Cafemom Studios next week and I need clothes. Or better, clothes that I can wear in public. 

Okay, not even that. Clothes that I can wear on television. 

In the last few months, I've put on a few pounds that even my "marathon training vegetarian diet not eating after 8pm only drinking water and four tons of coffee" regimen could help me with, so I have nothing that fits.

Well, I have a black pencil skirt, a black wrap around dress, and 40 pairs of shoes, as I told my new BFF-ish Carmen. 

{I figure if a complete stranger I met on the Internet can see me half naked nd agree with my disdain for my choice in underpants then she earns the title of BFF-ish}

"I play urban chic on television," I said.

And it's true.

I work from home and chase around four kids so the way you see me in photos is not how I look on a daily basis. 

I know this is a shocking, disappointing revelation because clearly all the photos you see of bloggers of themselves on their blogs are exactly how they look every single day (except maybe Tanis. She totally looks goofy all the time). 

But truthfully, I've just been feeling really crappy about myself lately and bla bla bla wah wah wah I have no clothes. 

So to save myself some time, I decided to hire Carmen to assist me in finding clothes, which was probably the best money I ever spent because she pre-shops for you, pulling a bunch of stuff at various stores, then you just show up, try stuff on, show her your terribly awful underpants and then leave two hours later with stuff that looks good and fits you, all within your budget. 

But that's really not the point of all this because more importantly, I discovered that most of us are shopping for clothes incorrectly.

And I've always sort of known this, with vanity sizing and the ridiculous range in numbers in my closet, but when you see it all laid out in front of you in a big pile of mediums and larges, 10s and 12s, you really get it. 

Which is something I think we all need to remember:

No one sees the size you're wearing. Or the spanx your squeezed into.

They see the way the clothes look on your body. 

So stop shopping for clothes like penises, ladies, because size doesn't matter.

Comments

[Genesis Dowd]

I am pregnant with my third kid now, and this has been the hardest pregnancy to watch the number go up. Because I worked so so very hard to get so very skinny after baby #2, when I briefly considered being done having kids before changing my mind, somehow shang-hai'ing my hubby into wanting another baby...and well, here I sit in elastic waistband pants! Again. For some reason women get so hung up on that silly number. Those stupid jeans and that damn scale. My husband doesn't care if the pants he buys are a 36 waist or a 40. Just as long as they're comfy and look good. I wish we could be as comfortable in our bodies!

[Mackenzie's Momma]

Ugh! So true. I recently had to go shopping because I was down to a single pair of jeans in my entire closet. So I took the kid and my dad (to keep the kid entertained) and went shopping. Halfway through the horror of not fitting ANYTHING I grabbed I stomped back out to the rack muttering (very loudly) about how it sucks to be a woman and to have hips and a butt and why do they have vanity sizing. Meanwhile my dad was staring at me as if I grew a second head and every woman in the store was nodding along sympathetically.

[Toymaker]

This is so so true. I especially dread going to stores where sizes run small...the effect is amplified!

[Vicky]

I was in my car today thinking- It's ok. I'm never going to be a 4 or a 2 ever again. I will never be 114 or 117, which I was when I got married. I've had three kids and gained a ton of muscle. So while I was super small a decade ago I couldn't lift for shit or run at all. I think the size I am now is going to be my sticking point.

[Kelly Jones]

I couldn't agree more. I used to be active and underweight. Once I stopped playing sports, I gained 20+ pounds and am now at a healthy weight. I was so consumed with the number or letter that was in my clothing and I was not happy. It took me a while, but I got used to the fact I wasn't my super skinny old self and I am okay with that. I am now finding womens clothes that are a bit bigger than I wish but I am okay with that. The clothes look good on me and help give me the confidence I need. That's what women should worry about. Finding the right size clothes that they feel confident in, not clothes they have to stop eating for a week to fit into.

[Dawn @ thedalaimama]

Thank you for this. I need to remember this.

[Rachel Backngroovemom]

I am glad that you posted this b/c being tall like you and always needing a bigger size quite frankly makes me feel BAD.

Just like pageviews - I also feel like everyone lies about their true size, so thanks.

In your humor, I find comfort :)

[Redneck Mommy]

I was all set to get indignant but I'm sitting here wearing THREE pony tails because I was imitating a TRICERATOP dinosaur for my nephew and I stuck tampons up my nose earlier in the day to pretend I was a walrus.

So.

You're right about the penises and you're right about me.

Dammit.

[Motherhooduncensored]

I know, Kim W. I gave away a bunch of jeans that were my faves after kid 3 and I dropped all that weight. I'd still love to drop a good 5-7lbs, but I don't see a 6 in my future. I like food too much.

[Kim W.]

You know what is really really really bothering me lately? The fact that I still have size 4 and size 6 clothes in a box, just waiting for me to get back down to size. That's the size I wore after two kids. I'm pregnant and due in a month with my fourth. I'm going to give those clothes away *before* I have the baby. No more of this "when I get back down to size after the baby" stuff.

[Motherhooduncensored]

Oh, don't feel like a smacked ass, Julie. I'd still be pretty excited if I fit into a 2. Though I'd probably be collapsed on the ground from not eating. Ha.

And yes, a BFF-ish + new underwear, always a pick me up.

[Julie Marsh]

Now I feel like a smacked ass for telling you I bought a size 2 skirt. Anybody who's seen me knows I'm no size 2.

I need to take your smart advice. Better yet, I need a BFF-ish and some new underwear.

[Karen (Submommy)]

Wait....you mean I can't just grab what I think might fit me off the rack at Target, buy it without trying it on, and think, "good enough" when I get them home?

Wow. I'm doing it wrong, then, huh?

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Wait, you shop for penises? I'm doing this all wrong.

And, yeah, I was getting really down on myself for going up a size and then realized it makes not one hot damn of difference. Plus, sizes for women are all over the place, so it's even less useful to care about the number on the clothing labels.

(My husband has used the Nordstrom personal shoppers and LOVES them. And he's only a little bit metrosexual).

[cara]

looooooove this. If my division chief weren't my friend on facebook, I would absolutely post (with credit to you, of course) your last sentence.

[My Kids Mom]

Should anyone tell Erin that our feet spread during pregnancy and no, those cute boots might not fit? I went up a half size with each kid. Decided to only have two kids! (shoe size as birth control?)

[Motherhooduncensored]

There is shifting, too, Erin, after the babies, so keep that happy revelation in mind.

And Alyssa -- I know, I kinda want to slap them too.

[Erin]

My new life motto "So stop shopping for clothes like penises, ladies, because size doesn't matter."

Seriously! This couldn't be more true. And while I am hoping and praying that I can squeeze into some of the clothes from my pre-pregnancy wardrobe, I won't be too disappointed if I need to buy some larger. At least my cute boots still fit, right?

[Alyssa S.]

Thank you for this. Times a hundred. Seriously. It took me forever to realize that I'd rather look nice in something that actually fits, regardless of the number on the tag, than look like crap in something I squeezed my ass into because I "had to be a size __". And can I just say, when friends post pics of themselves on FB saying "look at me in my new size 4 jeans" I kinda want to slap them.