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August 22, 2012


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If you happen to find someone who catches your interest, then these may be things for you both to think about and eventually discuss. Java-juice is my wakeup call, even if it is watered down decaf. As memories cloud expectations, I start to day-dream.

Like a computer, your PS2 relies on an internal fan to keep it cool. No$GBA is an emulator for Gameboy Advance and Nintendo DS games, while most DS games are still copywrited, you can play most GBA games and download them with no DMCA orders. Even if you wipe up the spill immediately, it leaves behind a sticky residue that will ruin a perfectly good disc by causing dirt, hair, and sweat to stick to the surface.

I need daycare to be a good parent to Nate. He gets to be with other kids and I get to be with adults and keep a nice home and be more present for my husband.

Sigh... I *WISH* I could say something like this about my job, but it's actually the complete opposite. Sadly. It makes a serious challenge out of actually enjoying the time I do have with my daughter sometimes.

While I'll settle for a lunch alone or a pedicure, I find the real recharges are when I'm completely focused on something else - usually a night out with girlfriends, or a luxurious 2 hours alone at an R-rated movie.

Leaving your head--and not just your life--for a few hours does a world of good.

Thanks for the reminder that even we (occasionally guilty) wohms are fortunate for both the time to step away from the family, and those exciting reunions when we get back again.

I feel sad that grocery shopping alone is a break, Amy but I TOTALLY GET IT.

And I admire people who have the "taking of the break" built into their systems. I'm getting better about forcing myself.

Thanks for sharing, all!

I'm WAHM for 2 years already and hubby work has flexible time he can be at home anytime. If I have many works that needs to be done he is there to be househusband and do all the things I wasn't able to do.

Our circumstances don't allow for much travel, so for me it's 60-90 minutes at the gym. It's in those minutes spent pushing my body to its limits because I want to, stretching this way or that in order to remind myself of my strength, my ability to balance of reach, that I recharge.

Any guilt I have for the excitement of getting away, of to a certain extent leaving my responsibilities behind, is counterbalanced by the knowledge that I am setting a good example for my 3 daughters. Take time, pursue health and know your worth.

This is where we have so much in common. I am the same way. I need that space, that time to recharge. I mourned the loss of my consulting job last October hard because it was 2-3 days of travel each month or more and I needed that time away. That feeling of being competent, not just mom, not having to do a million things at once all day but just one job was freeing and essential to my self-perservation.

A year out, I still miss it, but luckily I have continued to travel a bit due to this whole blogging thing. Thanks for writing this post.

As a SAHM, I go run errands in the evenings or on weekends when my husband is home so I can go ALONE. It may or may not take me 2 hours to get toilet paper. It just depends on the day I had with the boys.

I appreciate you saying you are always conflicted, I often feel that as well. In the past I've worked first, second and now third shift - and each transition has been to spend more time at home with my kids. Now that I'm awake working at home all night while they sleep I finally feel "balance" - they are at school/pre-school during the time I sleep and I get 8 hours at home every night without them to get a bit of housework and pinterest done when my calls are slow and on my breaks. BUT, to get out I HAVE to meet a friend for thrifting or flea markets and estate sales. I love the history in old things and I love finding a place for them at home. It gives me the nesting/hunting/girl talk fix all at once...

In my house, I work full-time and my husband is a SAHD. Since I'm a teacher, my hours allow me to come home earlier than others who work in an office. I am his relief pitcher. During the summer, we're a team.

We have four kids. One is 7 and he's on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum, one girl is 6, and our twin girls will be 3 in October.

It's never easy, whether you work out of the house or not. Just because I come home from work, doesn't mean my duties end. I take off my Teacher Hat and put on my Mommy Hat and I don't rest until they all go to bed. That's a long day for me.

How do I recharge? I go to work. In the summers, I go to Target. That's it in a nutshell. How does my husband recharge? That's where I come in.

It's never easy. That's all I know. I wouldn't trade it for anything, though.

Great post! Thanks!

I used to work full time outside of the home and I constantly dreamed of being a full time SAHM. When I made the transition I quickly realized, like you, it was a better idea in my head than reality. Now I work part time from home and part time in the office. Those days in the office are my break...what a treat they are! Sometimes I even get to travel for work, which I enjoy. I always miss my kids and am happy to come home to them. I take more pleasure in the simple tasks with them and spending more time with them.
The other breaks I *try* to take (but are easier to skip when I'm feeling lazy/guilty/etc) are hot yoga, jogging, going out with friends for coffee or a movie.

Largely the same - I telecommute so I am home with and without children most of every day. However, about five times a year I fly back east to my job and 12-14 hour days of lawyering. I come back happier. And ready to play some more.

This is why Oliver goes to day care for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. Not only is he learning to function in a classroom setting in advance of heading to kindergarten, and not only do I have quiet time in which to conduct business calls outside a locked bathroom, but we all get a break from each other. Brief absence does make the heart grow fonder.

Likewise, on the weekends we combine these breaks with physical exercise, which is a mood elevator like almost no other. People ask how we find the time for both Kyle and me to train for our races, and I laugh inwardly because our training time is essential to our mental survival.

I work outside the home for this very reason. As a full time stay at home mom, I would suck. My temper would be short, my house (I don't think) would be any cleaner. I love adult conversation. I need it. Then I don't mind the middle of the night snuggling or the constant book reading to a non verbal toddler.
I also have learned that I don't like mixing house work with parenting. As in, if I am on a mission to catch up on the dishes, don't make me deal with the toddler tornado at the same time. I like having someone else have main kid watching duty.
I think it is important for us to talk about this. I'm struggling to find after school care for my oldest (we live in the hood, they hate working parents in the hood apparently) and I have been guilted about someone else "taking care of my kid" by nearly every person I've talked to. Thats nice for them, they can suck it. I'm a better parent when my kid gets other people to have experiences with.

I had to laugh reading this as I just had a full out "argument" with my 5 year old last night about the likelihood of rain haha. There is no winning. Even though I was right and it did not rain.

We all need breaks from parenting, and we all parent so different. I actually know I am a more relaxed mom when I am home with them all day, but I do work full time and it does affect me when I get home because I go right from commuting from work to walking into the door to choas. There is no regrouping time. But to each their own and I think its just about knowing your limits and knowing when to ask for help.

I need daycare to be a good parent to Nate. He gets to be with other kids and I get to be with adults and keep a nice home and be more present for my husband.

I recently drove my kids 30 minutes each way to leave them at my mom's for the day---for me, a few hours with a sitter or my mom can make a HUGE difference in how I feel. And I'm trying to build a few nights' out into my schedule a month b/c I can become a serious martyr to motherhood if I'm not careful.

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