This weekend we drove down to my husband's Reserves base for Family Day, which involved tours of big airplanes, only two weather-related freak outs by my son, and 10 minutes in a blazing hot bouncy castle.
And a spouse flight, which I didn't go on, and hadn't really thought much about until a friend of my husband's asked me why I wasn't on the plane.
"Because I didn't want to," I told him, trying to think of a better, funnier answer. The fact that I had "slept" horizontally at the foot of a sofa bed that two of my kids were sleeping didn't help.
But it was better than telling him that the idea of being attached to an open plane with a vest and strap that went around my undercarriage wasn't super appealing.
And that I'd be suffering for days with a hemorrhoid flare up of epic proportions so sitting on a flat metal bench and squeezing my ass cheeks together out of complete fear sounded like complete torture.
Well, and that I just didn't want to.
He seemed surprised that I didn't give him a long winded explanation, which most people do, including me, and what usually involves some level of oversharing, at least on my part, anyway.
Then he chuckled and replied "That's the nice thing about being an adult, isn't it?"
And you know, he was right.
And that certainly doesn't just apply to spouse flights.
I've been thinking a lot lately about all the things I do on a daily basis, many of which I'm absolutely required to do, for my own survival and my kids' survival.
But there is a lot that I do that I really don't have to do. And I'm not even really sure why I do it.
I'm sure you could think of a few things yourself. Maybe more than a few.
I know that I can.
And then I wonder that if I wasn't doing those things, what could I really be doing? The time and energy and space in my brain that I barely have to spare these days could be freed up to perhaps do things that I like to do.
And actually want to do.
The ability that we have to do what we want, even if it's just for a few minutes every day, is something we should really cherish. Isn't that why we wanted to grow up? So we could do what we wanted without anyone breathing down our necks, telling us where to be and when.
We're free! And yet, we're still weighed down.
There is power in saying "no." (Or "No thank you" if you have manners). And there's not guilt or shame in doing so, no matter how much someone else thinks you should or could or WILL REALLY REGRET NOT DOING IT.
I'll be okay. Promise.
Because sometimes just not wanting to do something is a good enough reason not to do it.
And it's just as simple as that.