« Breast is best for baby. But what about mom? | Main | Long ago, in a time when blogs were just blogs »

August 06, 2012

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c83069e201761709b8ea970c

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Because I don't want to :

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Love your outlook!! My old excuse for not doing a stuffy, snotty dinner with the in-laws was because I was tired, worked late, had a headache. The next excuse is "because I'd rather do anything else". Like sit on the couch and catch up on Nick Jr with my kids. You know, the important stuff. :)

I really need to remember this in my own life! There have been so many times I say yes or agree to do something simply because I felt like I should, not because I actually wanted to. Thanks for the reminder! :)

Right on damn it! :)

Grea article! Thanks!

Right on, sister! I just quit the PTA after two years of doing a job week after week after week that didn't bring me any pleasure AT ALL. I got no personal satisfaction from it, I had to deal with a pushy jerk parent regularly and my son didn't even know that I was doing it (it was all computer based) so he often asked me why I didn't volunteer for the PTA. A few people are trying to guilt me into staying in the position still, but even so I feel great to have this awful time-suck off my to do list.

I say no. Regularly. I know my limits. I take on too much, e.g., 18 thousand school volunteer projects, and I end up on the losing end of life satisfaction.

I'm reminded of a favorite quote from a college lit class. The prof was tangentially discussing Melville's story "Bartleby the Scrivener," whose standard reply to multiple requests was "I would prefer not to."

There's quite a bit of power in that simple statement!

On a related note as you're reconsidering your priorities is another line from that class by Auntie Mame, "Life's a banquet and most poor sonsabitches are starving to death."

Jeez, can you tell it was a Transcendental Lit class? ;)

I often take this approach to the extreme ( according to my husband - it makes me immature.

And maybe I am. But setting absolutely unnecessary goals for yourself.. Such as "I HAVE to visit the in-laws three times a week" and then getting annoyed because you're seeing them too often, wait - that doesn't sound so immature anymore.

Thanks for this post!

This is so true. The other day the girls were pelting me with more requests/demands/cries-for-help than usual, I mean it felt like a hazing. I started to do the thing where I explain which I'll do first and to please be patient. But I didn't.

I said no.

No one died. No one cried. And after I did it I took a deep breath. I never knew I could just say no.

I absolutely agree with you. And I especially feel strongly about this because my in-laws are the exact opposite - they are people-pleasers who only do what others want them to do, never taking into account what they would actually LIKE to do. So I'm around it, I see it, and I can't stand it and I try to live the opposite, only doing the things that I want/need/should do, screw what everyone else thinks.

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Working...
Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.

Working...

Post a comment