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July 25, 2012

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It's in fact very complex in this active life to listen news on TV, so I simply use world wide web for that reason, and get the hottest news.

I agree with everything you said. And now tonight, in my neighborhood, another family is facing a tragic loss. You should see the comments on the articles:

http://www2.insidenova.com/news/2012/jul/25/17/child-injured-accidental-shooting-dale-city-ar-2083975/

I truly do not understand why people throw a hissy fit over parents who let their kids stay up late or be out late at night. Chances are, it's a one time deal or a special occasion. And even if it's not, as long as the kids aren't constantly sleep-deprived (because they make it up by sleeping later in the morning or taking a longer nap) WHO CARES??

I seriously don't understand this at all.

Very well put. We can't shelter our kids all the time and no one ever expects a random act of violence to happen to them. My son got dragged underwater at swim lessons by another boy who was a weak swimmer. Does he still go swimming- yes, did anyone ask me why I let him go to swim lessons- no.
Love the linked article also. So sorry your family had to go thru that.

It's so ridiculous for people to mention the parents' choice to take their kids to that movie in this context.

I mean, at an ORDINARY midnight movie, sure, I might raise my eyebrows and say what the heck are you doing here with a little one. But am I going to say, "You know, bring your kids to a midnight movie and they might get mowed down by a crazed gunman."?? Ridiculous.

Yes. Yes. It's everyone's biggest fear, I think. It's certainly mine. And it's what drives so many of us to judge - it's like a talisman against that fear, to say 'I wouldn't have done that.' Even though we can't know, even though it really never works that way. Even though we know that if something like that happened to us, we'd be blindsided. Which, to loop it all around, is why this is such a deep, deep for most of us.

So powerful, Kristen.

So well said. Parenting is so hard and the choices we make every day are difficult and in so many seemingly innocuous way, any instance can go horribly wrong.

We have become a nation of blame and judgement as opposed to one of compassion and support. We need to support each other through the hard time without judging how someone got there.

People want to blame. Or the world wants to blame. I haven't heard a single person in this community blame anyone who was there that night, except for the man who did it.

It isn't the time or place for the who should be allowed to see a movie at night or who should be allowed to see that movie. Not the time or place. But? People want to blame. I guess it's not enough to blame the person responsible. Which really? Is sad. It's hurt my heart this week to be online. To read what has been said. To hear people who I like and admire say things like: the parents deserved this because it's not okay to take a child to a movie at night. Really? They deserved this? Sigh. It makes me question humanity.

I admire you for saying what you did over there. I'm sure it wasn't an easy post to write. You, Liz, Julie...and many others have written great posts. I just hope it all dies down soon. I don't think I can handle much more name calling and judgement.

The thing is, it could be any of us at any time. Wrong place, wrong time. No one deserved what happened that night.

Thank you for writing that post. It made me cry. As a mom, every day we try to make the best decisions for our children. Every day, I am thankful. Last year the night before I boarded the plane for BlogHer, my three year old was on the monkey bars in the backyard and I was on my phone. In one second he had fallen down right on his back. Off to ER we went until the wee hours of the morning. As if my mom guilt wasn't enough already that I was leaving them for three nights! The worry I have every day about my children is paralyzing. It doesn't get better, and that scares me as I think I might never let them out of my sight. But even when I'm right there next to them, something could happen. We just do what we can. I'm a helicopter mom, sure, and that's okay with me. My heart bleeds and breaks and hurts so bad for any mother who has lost a child. Sometimes, and this is a horrible thing to admit - sometimes, I wish my children will grow up happy and healthy but never have children so they never know the worry or pain. (I know that they'd never know the love either, so maybe I don't really mean that...) Anyway. Thanks for your post. xo

What Liz said. Thanks for writing that; I can imagine how difficult it was.

I think we are all going ape-sh*t over kids being hurt. My son broke his arm in the schoolyard, just simply slipped while climbing ladder for slide. Nothing aggressive. Nothing reckless. There was fresh snow, and he had big mittens, so that certainly contributed, but still. Bad things like this happen. And I still vividly remember my husband's initial reaction: what a heck was school thinking letting them into snowed schoolyard for recess? (I live in Canada, there is snow everywhere 4 months a year at minimum). My response was: what is the proper course of action: never letting them out in school yard? I'm pretty sure broken bones happen even on nice spring days, so should we close kids into basements to avoid all of that? Why we are hard on the people that act in best interest of children and nit-pick on each accident? Let's cope with accident and lets help other people cope with it too - stop being self-righteous pricks that uphold principles above the sorrow.

It's so good I even registered just to be able to leave a comment there. That's saying something.

It's not easy to talk about personal moments like that - again you show what a great brave person you are. The article really resonated. Parenting is hard, the stress of making the right decisions, the fallout if you make one that maybe turned out not right... I've always wished for more support and less judging in the parent community. Thank you!

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