BlogHer, School, Meds, and My Mom: Because I'm all out of exciting titles

This will be the first year in seven years that I won't be at BlogHer, but the first weekend of any month is killer for a family with a spouse in the Reserves (mandatory UTA weekend - don't ask me what that stands for other than "I can't get out of this, honey, unless I'm dead") and if you have kids in the South going to school since they start on August 6. 

Take that in for a moment, especially if you grew up in the Northeast like me and are all like "WTF are you kidding me?" 

And no, it's not because of the weather at the end of the school year because have you been to the south in August? 

{Apparently it's based on old farming schedules where kids used to have to help and they decided that it didn't need to be changed since kids are still farming and all. Uh.}

But yes, this means my kids are going to school, a nice little Montessori school that's a bit of a drive (25 minutes each way on sort of slow back roads) and a bit expensive (anyone looking to hire a blogger?) and I still need to have a babysitter for Bridget so it's boxed macaroni and cheese around here for awhile. 

The public schools near us aren't for us, which is code for "they suck," but that sounds judgy  of other parents in our neighborhood who I know (and like) who send their kids there so we all say "they're not for us." 

But if I can get past the long drives and the crazy schedules, I think I'll get a little more of my sanity back, which was something that was questionable trying to work and homeschool the kids while my husband was gone all the time.

And as much as I was hoping the Viibryd would perform miracles and make me a cheery domestic goddess, all they did was fuck my stomach up so hard that I had to stop taking them. 

I tried with food without food not eating food at all eating lots of food and I couldn't hack it, guys.

And after reading all the bad side effects of the meds (Yay Google!), I decided that I wanted to go see my midwife who wouldn't just give me free samples of some new drug because the hot pharm sales girl dropped them off that morning. 

I was feeling all proud of my non-meds coping skills with all the crap that was going on with my mom's surgery but then my husband chimed in about how much better I was on the meds. 

I just nodded and smiled but inside I kind of wanted to say "better how, like dealing with your crap?" but I didn't until just now and that felt pretty good. 

Are there meds that help you take ALL the recycling out and not just some of it even though it's right near the actual recycling bin because then I would like you to take some of those, dear. 

Yeah. I should probably get back on the meds. 

Thankfully, my mom's big house reveal went over famously, mostly due to the paint and not the actual MAJOR ASS cleaning we all did. 

Note to self: Show parent your awesome work before you have the house painted because that is all she will notice. That and the big television my brother brought her BUT LOOK AT YOUR CLOSET IT'S SO AWESOME MOM!  

I'm just telling myself she was so shocked and overwhelmed that she couldn't sob thanks while clutching me in her arms like I imagined and instead obsessed about how that she could now watch Thornbirds on YouTube all on her big new television. 

Did I mention I cleaned out her entire house? 

Every time she asked me where something important was, like her credit cards or her Spanx or her Brooks Brothers ballet flats and I knew where they were she would let out this "OH PHEW!" And I couldn't help but feel judged like I'm just some asshole who went through all her things and tossed them in the dumpster. 

Your 20-year old underpants? Yes mom. They are gone. Your vintage coach bags? Give me some freaking credit. 

Of course, after I arrived home, I got the obligatory "Where is that book that was on my nightstand?" which led to a whole freaking "I'm feeling like you threw me out in the dumpster" and "Maybe it's because you hate this house!" '

Ah family dysfunction. The reason why people move far away. And drink. 

So while everyone else will be whooping it up in NYC, I'll be avoiding all contact with my mother, staying up until the crack of dawn watching the Olympics, tweeting about the embarrasingly awful coverage by NBC, and trying to figure out how in the hell I have three children that will be in school in a week. 

Oh and counting down the days I head to Mexico for four days all by myself.

What's going on with you?

Comments

[phd thesis writing services]

Wow you are a super mom! I salute you for that. I can't imagine myself in your shoes. My mother, probably experienced that too until my brothers and I grew up and ended supporting her and our father. You can do it! A reward will follow with all things you do for your family. :)

[Kathleen]

Wow, stumbled on your blog just now and you are delightful. Hope you have a nice 4 days off in Mexico, because OMG parenting is tough. And I only had one and he's 14 almost 15 and I still think it's hard...l more power to you. Really, you should take 5 or 6 days.

[vicky]

Well I miss seeing you too. But damn, that is a lot to handle. Hope you find something that works for you soon, meds-wise.

[the weirdgirl]

I stayed home this year too. New York is expensive and BlogHer is always during my husband's birthday. Plus school starts August 15th. Not quite as crazy early as you but still damn early! I remember starting after Labor Day!

Anyway, enjoy Mexico! BlogHer is usually my one trip by myself so I'm planning a little getaway too. I'm thinking overnight spa at the beach. I hope they have cabana boys.

[The Muskrat]

You'll be missed! We're allowed to skip one Unit Training Assembly a year, so I usually choose BlogHer weekend.

[Hope]

UTA = unit training assembly....from a fellow Guard (cousin to the AF Reserves). Fairly new reader....LOVE your sarcasm! Wish my husband appreciated it too! Ha!

[When I Blink]

Mexico by yourself? For four days?

Standing and starting a slow clap...

Well done. Well done, indeed. I'm a HUGE fan of by-myself travel.

[KeAnne]

God, I felt exhausted and stressed just reading this post, so I can only imagine how torqued you feel! Hugs to you and the 4 days alone coming your way.

[Liza]

Like everyone said, sorry you won't be at BlogHer, but WTF, 4 days alone in Mexico sounds amazing! I hope the Montessori school is awesome.

[Asha Dornfest]

Sending xoxoxo. I'm attending #BlogHer12 this year as well (that is, I'll be checking in on the hashtag from home). Hope we can talk more soon about school & life. You are wonderful, K!

[Redneck Mommy]

I will miss you at Blogher but wait, Mexico? Four days by yourself?

Let me ooze jealousy for a second...

[g]

XO

[Kim Tracy Prince]

Well, you could always go blonde. That's what I did. It was either that or run away to Mexico and be drunk all the time.

Except the maintenance on this hair is a bitch.

[Rita Arens]

I will miss you!

[Karen Chatters]

Wait wait wait. You're going to Mexico BY YOURSELF????? How the hell do I get in on that?

I'm trying to ship my husband and the littles off this weekend for ONE NIGHT. I'm not sure it's going to work but if it doesn't, I may check into a hotel. I'm not sure my sanity is going to survive much longer, I'm seriously losing it. (How'd this turn into a thing about me?)

Anyway, enjoy Mexico! And congrats with sending your kids to school, I'm sure there will be montessori love all the way around.

[Amelia Sprout]

Well, if you're not going to be there, then I don't feel so bad about missing...

I'm sorry about your mom. I'm convinced there is a whole generation of women who still don't know how to say thank you to their kids. My mom can do it for me, now, but she still can't say I'm beautiful or not share my secrets with family members I hate. Or treat me like an adult.

Feel free to tweet me about the Olympics and any athletes bodies. I will shamelessly oggling them and hoping all of the kids sleep long enough for me to take out my appreciation on my husband.

[Amanda]

I'm 39 today. I still feel gawky and 15. However, I just conquered the laundry room. 5 empty dirty clothes hampers, 8 sorted and folded hampers. I am ridiculously proud.

Sorry you won't be at BlogHer. Looking forward to another opportunity to spend more than 4 minutes with you one day.

PS Unspoiled gratitude is overrated. You did an amazing thing for your mom. Deep down she knows it.

[Stephanie Precourt]

Originally I nixed BlogHer because of a wedding I'm in, but then the date got changed and I still didn't have that much interest in going. I think I might be officially blog-conferenced-out.

Works out because we are in the middle of moving now, Jeff's already gone to another state, and I have no idea where my kids will go to school. Same situation- the public school near some of the nice houses in the area we're moving to are awful- and they even know it and have to post their low ratings- but we can't have the nice house AND pay for private school for 4 kids. And Montessori registration is already full. Anyway. So we have to find a different house near better schools. I can't even wrap my mind around doing the homeschool thing, unless someone came to homeschool them for me.

I was given Viibryd when I went to the doctor last but I googled before taking it- I think I have the full pack if you want it. (If that's legal?) I have been working really hard on diet and sleep and less time online as treatment but we all know that's probably just a big joke. I don't know how I'm going to get back to me again, but a lot of my anxiety stems from medical trauma and meds and so even thinking about taking them or going to see a doctor makes me worse, it's a big cycle. So there you have it. Thanks for the therapy unload!

Steph

[jodifur]

I'm so sorry you won't be at BlogHer, seeing you is always one of my highlites.

We loves Michael's montessori preschool. I'd love to keep sending him if there was a private around around here we.

[Kelly]

Ohhh where do I sign up for Mexico for 4 days by myself... I'm used to school starting mid to late August, but this is early even by ATL standards... they tell me it has something to do with what day of the week Christmas is or something that I don't really believe. But I will put my new 5 year old on a bus next Monday morning and I might have to go to the coffee & kleenex ...