For eight years I've tried my best to make sense of being a parent.
Deciphering secret codes, following unwritten rules. Searching for instruction manuals that just don't exist no matter how hard we look and Google or how much our friends and neighbors and random ladies at the aisle in Target try to tell us.
It's completely nonsensical.
The sheer number of times you have cleaned up the same LEGOs that are dumped from the same bin by a child who doesn't even play with them.
And then you step on them. Again.
The crazy things you find yourself saying, like "Get your butt off your sister's elbow!" or "The dog bowl is not a hat!"
The "Yes I wanted water no I didn't want that water GET ME WATER RIGHT NOW!" dance you do at dinner time.
And the fact that these babies that you carried, birthed and raised will somehow not need you to find their purple monkey at bedtime.
Ridiculous.
She's asked for "banilla" a thousand times before, but today it hit me in my gut.
Because soon it will be vanilla. And then she'll know how to spell it.
And we won't even remember that she used to say it incorrectly.
Parenting still confuses me, baffling me daily by everything from weird diaper rashes to explaining death.
I still really don't know what I'm doing. And part of me thinks that it makes me a better parent because I have no expectations. No reality checks or points of reference.
GPS turned off.
The older I get, the more I hope that the magic never makes sense to me.
That in some way, my children will see couches as potential cushion houses and Twizzlers as straws. And broccoli will be miraculously edible when eaten off the pink plate.
Because when it finally makes sense, I fear that it will be over.
And I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for it to end.
Wow. Reading this article made me realize that even though I had many frustrating moments with my parenting, it's our kids that makes us feel better. I'm not ready to let go either. There are tough times but the experience is just priceless.
Posted by: Pinay WAHM Blogger | May 13, 2012 at 08:30 AM
I'm beginning to think I'm the weirdest Mom on earth. Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I look at my 6 year old and have my breath taken away by how grown up she looks, but most of the time, it makes my heart soar how grown up and capable both my 6 and 4 year old are. It makes me happy to see them doing for themselves and taking pride in it. I think what comforts me is knowing that even though they need less help with day to day things, when it comes to emotional support, I'm still the first person they go to. And then it reminds me that, at 40, even though I've fought furiously all my life to get MY Mom to stop treating me like a 6 year old, in a pinch, when my world feels like it's crashing around me, my gut instinct is to go looking for my Mommy. I know there's never going to be a time where I DON'T need her...and I'm pretty sure it's going to be the same with my kids. And that makes it all better :)
Posted by: Alyssa S | May 04, 2012 at 09:55 AM
My husband and I still use the word "yesteryear" in conversation, but our kids haven't said it in quite some time. Sad face!
Posted by: Sanstrousers | May 02, 2012 at 09:19 PM
Sarah -- Isn't their ability to do that magical in its own right? I feel like it deserves some sort of party.
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | May 02, 2012 at 07:14 PM
I keep hoping and begging for that switch to turn on inside of me that makes me remember those moments. Conceptually I know they are fleeting. I read this and I know I need to appreciate at it before its over. But when I'm in the moment it seems so hard to be IN the moment to remember that its fleeting and not just "why are their legos on the floor AGAIN?" Thank you for reminding me, I'll keep reminding myself too.
Posted by: Marta | May 02, 2012 at 12:16 PM
I love this. Yesterday I had a moment (just a few hours before reading this :) ) where the 4yo got herself completely in the car and buckled into the booster without ANY help. For a moment it seemed as if it had always been so ... and then I remember how many times I've buckled and unbuckled her in four years. The new becomes normal so quickly. You think you'll always remember the way it was, but the way it was becomes the way it is and the way it is morphs into the way it will be, and in between you step on legos and buckle car seats and it's so, so easy to forget. Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Sarah @ Powers of Mine | May 02, 2012 at 11:43 AM
Well said, Kristen. Well said.
Posted by: Amy | May 01, 2012 at 09:27 PM
As much as I love that they are older and more capable (I don't need to hover), I will forever miss the glider rocker and songs before bed, their little wisps of hair, and the first time I heard them say, "I love you, mommy."
When I look in the rear view mirror, the road had suddenly turned shiny and golden.
Posted by: Karen | May 01, 2012 at 08:07 PM
I don't think I'll ever be ready for it to end, either. And time just keeps flying. I turn around and suddenly their pants are 3 inches too short and they've discovered new skills. How does that happen?
Posted by: Co-Pilot Mom | May 01, 2012 at 06:49 PM
Argh! I commented this morning and it seems to have gotten lost. This makes me weep. So, so lovely. I recently told my nine year old, nostalgically, about how she used to say "adwenture." "I did?" she had a funny quirk on her 9 year old face. She did not remember, but I'll never forget.
Posted by: Lindsey | May 01, 2012 at 05:17 PM
See, I think you WILL remember banilla, and not just because you wrote about it here, duh. I have NO FREAKIN CLUE what my second son's first word was, because I was far too preoccupied getting my first son to speak at all. However. He used to call windshield wipers "hoop-de-hypers", and we will never forget that, even though I have no baby book. He also still says "yelleven" instead of "eleven," at age 7, and hell if I'm going to correct him.
Posted by: Denise | May 01, 2012 at 05:15 PM
My son used to like it when we shopped at "Old Maybe" and always wanted me to take him to the "Entire State Building" and hoped for "bump beds." *sniff*
Posted by: Stacy @bklynstacy | May 01, 2012 at 05:14 PM
Yep. Don't blink.
Posted by: Leanne | May 01, 2012 at 12:55 PM
There are certain sacred things. "You Nyork City" will always be our favorite place. That my 7 year old says that things are familiar rather than similar.
It won't ever really be over, because deep down we'll always remember what it was to live with children, see into their world and every once in a while have their invitations in coincide perfectly with our ability to drop everything and just have tea in the closet.
xo
Posted by: Amanda | May 01, 2012 at 10:46 AM
I like the title of this post, "The Magic of Parenting". It is indeed magic isn't it? The magic is that two people (or many times one) take a frail, helpless little bundle of needs and hopefully turns it into a strong, confident adult who has many gifts to share and give to this world and hopefully make it a better place. That's magical to me.
Posted by: Jeannett | May 01, 2012 at 10:15 AM
Yes. This. Last week I registered my youngest for kindergarten. Two weeks before that we discovered my oldest, my 12 year old, is taller than me.
Sigh. Too fast.
Posted by: FishyGirl | May 01, 2012 at 09:15 AM
I've been feeling this lately. The oldest of my two kids is off to kindergarten in the fall and my youngest has grown leaps and bounds and stopped calling his sister "dister" and uses her name. All of a sudden I had an idea that I needed another baby ASAP.
Posted by: Kendra | May 01, 2012 at 08:51 AM
Oh, i am crying, I don't know what to say other than yes, and thank you for putting it so beautifully. Just the other day I was talking to my daughter and somehow it came up that she used to say 'adwenture.' "I did?" she asked, with a funny, grown-up twist in her nine year old smile. She didn't remember. But I'll never forget. xx
Posted by: Lindsey | May 01, 2012 at 06:56 AM