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April 13, 2012


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Wow. This is an awesome post. Great thoughts. I am a parent still in the "weeds". My kids are 4 and 11 months (almost) and it is hard not to focus on things like sleep. This perspective is important to remember. Thanks!

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I agree that working on long terms goals of who you want your kids to be is important, particularly as they get older. I have found that a good nyc mom blog can be a great resource through all of the stages of a child's life. My favorites, like Young Urban Moms, have a ton useful tips that only come with experience. I get great tips, advice, stories, and ideas from moms that are really easy to relate to and really funny. I would definitely recommend them.

Thank you for this Kristen. Really something I needed to hear. The line about most highs and lows blurring especially as I get bogged down by the "bad" days and worry if the good ones are enough. I'm trying to find the good in moments lately instead of labeling the days. I have a five year old daughter and my breath catches every so often when I really take in how much she's grown. I worry about who she will become and how I can get her there...

Great post Kristin. I've had similar thoughts too as my kids now range 8 to 3.

Glad to help, Kara -- and so nice to hear from you.

I too am still in the weeds, with an almost two year old who still doesn't sleep through, and baby number 2 due in 3 months. I breastfed to settle, I pat to sleep and I bring him into my bed when he wakes in the night. My sleep-training friends tell me I'm soft and doing it all wrong, constantly telling me what I "have" to do. I tell them I'm doing what's right for me - and at the kids' university graduations it's not going to make a scrap of difference whether they slept 12 hours straight from 6 weeks or needed cuddles to get through the night at 2.

I'm already filled with a sense of dread about the constant judgement and lecturing I'll get when the baby's born and I'm told I'm breastfeeding "too often", or creating bad habits, but I'm trying to take the longview and remember this in the face of the criticism. This is the second piece I've read on this in as many days, so maybe the universe is trying to remind me that going with the flow and doing what's right for us is OK after all. Thanks.

Once you're out of the weeds, the road ahead is open, long, and with many many opportunities for detours.

I still like the open road better than the weeds, personally.

You're giving me hope Kristen - it gets better for all of us and it's okay to have highs and lows. I've read your blog for years and this is the first time I've felt compelled to comment - thank you!

Sigh. So glad there is someone like you in the world. Beautifully said.

wow how much did I need to read this apparently more than I knew. Thanks Kristen!

As someone in the weeds who just lost her shit five minutes ago about a sleepless night (thunderstorms!!!) - THANK YOU!!!!

I bawled at the line about how my kids' childhood will not be like mine.....and I had a decent childhood, but still, oh, so many issues, I still struggle with!

Thanks Kristen, I needed some "mothering" too. This post gave me more than my mom and mil did in years of nagging and unsolicited advice.

One of the things that has really rocked me as I've done my time in the weeds, is how you can live an entire lifetime in a single moment. Excruciating remorse, longing and everything in between. Then the ephemeral awareness of both fleetingness and routine.

This does a great job of slowly moving through the morasse of expectations met, unmet and forgiven as new ones are realized.

To be treasured.

Thanks. You and Childbearing Hips (http://child-bearing-hips.blogspot.com/2012/04/it-works-for-us.html)are on the same wavelength this week- and I am grateful for it. Reinforces my belief that my husband and I are doing well to raise to happy, polite boys, even if they won't nap, I couldn't breastfeed as much as I wanted, and I don't get to sleep through the night...yet...

Thank you for this post. I needed that.

YES!!! Oh, yes indeed. For me this has been one of the great pleasures of parenting older kids (mine are now 12 and almost 9)...the realization that the drama and intensity of the early years really is a phase. Not that it gets easier, exactly, but you come to see the journey you're on with your kids. Love this, Kristen.

So, so true. Though my 2 are in their last two years of high school, and I look forward to them being in bed, because they aren't asking about homework when they're asleep!

Wow. This is an awesome post. Great thoughts. I am a parent still in the "weeds". My kids are 4 and 11 months (almost) and it is hard not to focus on things like sleep. This perspective is important to remember. Thanks!

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