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December 28, 2011

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Erreur #2 : branchez redactor

This is SO funny and very true!

I had to share a recent convo with my hubs that made me think of this.
Me: (opening medicine cabinet) Why do you have hemorrhoid cream?
Hubs: Uh, that's yours.
Me: Ew, I never had hemorrhoids!
Hubs: Ummm, you don't rem....errr...ummm...after baby...
Me: Gross! It's definitely yours.
I too have blocked certain memories.

When I came home from out of town for a weekend and found a few of these super curly, thick hairs in my shower...I flipped out. WHO HAS BEEN IN MY SHOWER?! My husband laughed and assured me they were mine. Ha! I have straight brownish-black hair, and the strands are not THAT thick. After a few days of wondering, I ran my fingers through my hair and a thick, curly strand fell out. I started looking and, sure enough, mixed in with my straight hair...were some random ones like I found in the shower. Oh well. I was about 4 months post-partum. Pregnancy does weird shit to your hair!

I laughed. But I wish you would all stop saying "panties."

I didn't wear maternity underpants. But only because that would have been even more material to go crawling up my ass.

I tried maternity underwear and went back to bikini underwear immediately. They made my belly itch like crazy. But funny you should be writing about them as I cleaned out my underwear drawer two days ago and threw away three pair of 11 yr old maternity underwear.

A little sex to the ay. Yup yup.

Keeping them around is probably a good plan should you ever have one of those hugely unsexy days.

I'm now on high alert for monstrous panties to spontaneously appear...in the car, in the dryer, perhaps even under Kyle's pillow.

But the real question is "Why were they in the backseat of his car??"

Oh, Kristen, you poor thing. Though I think it's funny that you thought your husband might be having rough s*x in the back seat of his car with a pregnant lady. HE CAN'T GET ENOUGH.

I once took the girls swimming at my (SAHD) neighbor's house while HUGELY pregnant with D. I changed into a maternity suit in their bathroom but when we left, I just threw my summer dress over my bulk and headed home. His wife came home from work and found my bra and ENORMOUS white pregnancy BRIEFS on the floor of their bathroom. I got a call a little later: "Uh, I think you left your underwear here". {{died slow death}}

Aren't all maternity panties huge and ugly? I hate the women who never wore them when pregnant. It is just not fair.

Post Partum Panty Syndrome. Shoot, I'm pretty sure I had that. There are drugs for it, but the best thing to do is stay in the denial stage.

Also, yoga.

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