Last week I was on my weekly trip to Target, which usually means I go in with a few things on my "list" and then walk out with four bags and a $150 receipt.
I can't quite pin down exactly what it is -- the fluorescent lights, the bullseye logo, the adorable pumpkin placemats and matching plastic tumblers OMFGIHAVETOHAVETHEM -- but I don't think it's humanly possible for me to leave Target only purchasing exactly what's on my list.
This time I was just about to checkout with my armful of stuff (which consequently is a technique I've tried that involves not taking a cart or basket so you will only leave with what you can carry which turns out is still four bags full) when I mistakenly took my walk of shame past the beauty section.
And there it was. A microdermabrasion system.
And then, the wheels started turning:
"Julie has one of those. And she loves it. But I think hers is a Clairsonic. Hey, I know Neutrogena. They're good. And only $19.99. Ooooh a $3 off peelie!" and just like that, it ended up in my arms.
I excitedly rushed home to electronically scrub the dead skin off my face, loaded up the batteries (included FTW!), and started rolling it on my face.
And then, as my face foamed and got a little red and sort of stung but felt $16.99 younger by golly, I realized something.
I turned it off.
I took off the cap with the attached pad.
I turned it on medium. Then high. Then medium again.
I put my finger on the flat, plastic surface.
And then...
Well, let's just say now I know why everyone swears by them. Because last time I checked, a good face scrub doesn't give you that youthful glow.
My new stress relief mantra:
Wash rinse repeat.
Posted by: Amanda Bombard | July 27, 2012 at 03:15 AM
ROFLOL! I love your post! Here's to whatever it takes to get that youthful glow!! ;-)
Posted by: Tina S. | November 03, 2011 at 03:16 PM
I'd been using the regular Neutrogena bar soap on my face for years, but I decided to switch to something better for my sensitive skin - my dermatologist recommended Made from Earth's Green Tea Toxin Cleanser. Amaze-fest!
I could not be more pleased! I always thought my skin looked ok, but with their Green Tea Cleanser I actually love my skin! Not to sound vain, but I look in the mirror and just think about how good my skin looks now and I don't even wear coverup! IMO I think it makes me look younger too, but that could be wishful thinking! This does not have the consistency of a cleanser, it does seem more like a lotion, but don't let that dissaude you, it is really great on the skin!
Posted by: Maddy Padge | October 27, 2011 at 02:01 AM
Hysterical!!! The first post I have read of yours and I can't wait to read more... :)
Posted by: theodora | October 21, 2011 at 12:56 PM
I hate single-taskers anyway.
Posted by: ClumberKim | October 09, 2011 at 08:47 AM
LOVE it!!! Too freaking funny!!!! Think I might need to take a trip to Target today..lol
Posted by: Heather | October 08, 2011 at 09:34 AM
With my head held high I admit it took me two reads to get it. But I did get it. And I laughed and I smirked. And I am IN LOVE.
Posted by: Team Suzanne | October 07, 2011 at 07:18 PM
Hi, this is the very first post I have read on this blog! It is hysterical. I am hooked. Can't wait to read more.
Posted by: The Mommy | October 07, 2011 at 12:12 PM
4 kids + target = at least $150! If you get an orgasm out of it, well then you win!
Posted by: Amy Jo | October 06, 2011 at 10:21 PM
And for me, Di, it was a vibrating Penguin pillow from Avon. Go figure.
Posted by: Kristen Chase - Motherhood Uncensored | October 06, 2011 at 02:24 PM
A multi-functional device. Good to know.
I can't get out of Target for less than $100 either. Says SubHub, "What are you buying at Target that sets us back $100 bucks each trip?"
Posted by: Karen | October 06, 2011 at 02:17 PM
Hilarious.
I have recently banned myself from Target because I used to take a weekly trip for approximatley $30 worth of stuff and leave with at least $150. I'm 3 weeks off the Target and financially feeling much better, but I sure do miss it!
Posted by: The Mommy Therapy | October 06, 2011 at 01:57 PM
I don't mean to be an alarmist, but I'm pretty sure they pump some kind of happy drug into the air at Target.
Posted by: Dead Cow Girl | October 06, 2011 at 01:46 PM
That just made me laugh so hard I snorted diet pepsi. Ouch. (My gateway was an electric toothbrush. No joke.)
Posted by: Di | October 06, 2011 at 01:33 PM
hahahaha - love you. Now I can't work.
Posted by: dina | October 06, 2011 at 11:31 AM
You are not helping get my mind out of the gutter these days my friend.
I dig that about you.
Posted by: Redneck Mommy | October 06, 2011 at 11:20 AM
I have the same shopping problem at Target, it must be the bullseye!
Posted by: TinathePow | October 06, 2011 at 10:24 AM
LOL!!! I'm going to buy stock in Neutrogena b/c I'm pretty sure every girl is going to buy one now!! Gonna sell out faster than the Missoni for Target!!
Posted by: Jenny | October 06, 2011 at 09:35 AM
whoo-hooo, that is hysterical!
Posted by: ali_rn | October 06, 2011 at 09:01 AM
BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Off to Target.
Posted by: Katie | October 06, 2011 at 07:10 AM