On guns, boys, and why I liked Cars 2

Upon my return from seeing Cars 2 last week, I've seen a slew of tweets and comments about how terribly, horribly, no good it is.

Torture! Violence! Booze references!

No, no - not the booze!

I'm the first to admit that I don't really like the first Cars movie. Actually, I walked out of the theater with Quinlan when it first came out because holy crap it was boring.

But in the most cliche' of circumstances, I had a son, who liked fast cars, and so we gave it another try.

Surprise, they all love it. Even the girls.

(I still don't get it. Plot? Wherefore art thou?)

So this time around, I was thrilled to see a little intrigue. A little story line that required some thinking. And a completely new movie that didn't rely on the first one.

And so was my near 5-year old son, who might just be the most anxious movie goer ever. Quite a risk when you take a kid on a 5 hour plane ride to go see a new movie.

Yes, he was a little nervous, particularly at the beginning which was a little like the opening of a James Bond movie - though the hot agent was a Fiat. And no sexy girls with names that could double as female body parts.

Just a strong, smart female character named Holly Shiftwell.

There was a questionable interrogation scene (or torture depending on who you ask) where a car ends up getting killed. You don't actually see it. Just flames.

I definitely noticed it though my son didn't at all.

And then there are guns and rockets, which is pretty common place around my house, since I gave up long ago on trying to stop my kid from making toy guns out of Legos or wanting the water gun pool toy.

Even Margot wanted the same Spiderman gun as her brother on our recent trip to Universal Studios.

So she has one too.

I distinctly remember a discussion amongst bloggers about kids and toy guns, with the seasoned moms of older boys probably giggling at us newbies who were "Oh hell no guns not ever no way uh uh mister" as they gently told us that it's nearly impossible to avoid.

And indeed, after my son showed no interest in most kids shows, my husband showed him an old episode of Transformers and I showed him the first Star Wars (or maybe it's the 4th? I can't keep up with all that prequel nonsense), and since then, he's been playing all sorts of rocket warrior robot missile pretend play.

And my girls have too.

For us, it's opened up the discussion about a lot of things - war, soldiers, yes, even gun safety. Not just because we're a military family. But because it's a part of life.

But a lot of it is just how kids play. How my husband played as I kid. How I played as a kid. How a lot of us played and didn't suffer harm, anxiety, or perhaps worse, a nonchalant view of violence and kids.

I think we often sell our kids short - not in what they can understand if we explain it, but what they already know. 

And their astute ability to separate reality from fiction.

From a robot shooting another robot with a gigantic machine gun.

Or a talking tow truck saving his friend with a couple of rockets.

We as parents have to determine what's right for our kids based on knowing them best. But I wonder if sometimes we aren't too sensitive to what we think they won't like or be able to handle because it's too hard for us. And not necessarily for them.

Comments

[Barefoot Sports Shoes]

people would never look, the problem is that many counselors tell you to look where all the other millions

[Marta]

I liked the movie a lot too and was surprised by all the backlash. Than again I'm the mom who took my 4 year old to see the new Harry Potter movie AND Pirates of the Caribbean both which are technically PG-13.

I don't allow toy guns, but my son understands the difference between reality and pretend (i.e. movies) which is why I have no problem with him watching violence just re-enacting it if that makes sense!

[mommycoddle]

amen, sister.

[Maria]

I was much more offended by it just plain sucking than I was by the guns and violence. (The booze didn't even ping my radar.)

[Karen (SubMommy)]

Both my kids loved it.

I mean, get real. It's Tow-Mater, people. It's not like your preschooler is playing Grand Theft Auto at their friends' house.

My kids came away with a decent lesson about friendship, loyalty, and believing in yourself. Gasp! The Horror!

[Heather]

I didn't care for the first Cars either. I'm curious to see how the second one is when it comes out on video. The boys (twins) are too young to go to the movie theater yet and our 10-year-old daughter is just waiting for the last Harry Potter movie to come out.

[Dea]

This reminds me of something that happened between my sister and her son. My sister was doing her hair in her ensuite and had her TV on in the bedroom for background noise - she thought her 6 year old son was downstairs playing with her husband. But when she emerged from her bathroom, her son was on her bed watching the horror movie she had it turned to - the scene was of a woman whose arm had been removed and lots of blood squiting everywhere. So my sister says "I don't think you should be watching this, why don't you go downstairs and play, this is too scary for you" and he rolled his eyes and said, "Jeez, mom, you know it's fake blood, right?" Haha!

[Jessie]

I had no problem with the guns/explosions in it, we have tons of Nerf guns and such at home. I had a problem with the "dead" compacted car, the tortured and killed car, the car the fell into the water and had all his parts float to the top. They portray the cars as "people" for all intents and purposes and so that rubbed me and my husband the wrong way.

The movie was visually really well done, but it was their weakest movie yet I think in terms of story lines and such. Ask your average 3-8 year old to tell you the story line and morals of the story afterwards and see how much they understood, I bet most won't be able to. My kid didn't like it, and wanted to leave halfway through, so did I.

[Adventures In Babywearing]

We are a very "gentle parenting minded" family but I have 3 boys. Um, I am pretty sure we own every light saber available, and all their "guys" have shooters and so forth and so on. It IS inevitable and I watch them imagine and play just like I did as a child. If I ever saw them playing inappropriately, then I would intervene, just as I would if they were playing in a harmful or too-negative way with any other toy be it a doll or their playsilks (hey, even *they* can also function as a noose, just saying.) And my daughter, the youngest after all those boys? She can definitely hold her own. It's awesome.

Steph

[Mama]

I don't buy my kids a lot of toy guns (and I have three boys), but I am not worried about the guns/explosives in Cars 2. However, we paid for all five of us to go see it yesterday despite the fact that none of us are big fans of the first movie (I agree with you: booooring), and the only one of us who liked Cars 2 was the nine year old. I think he was the only one who "got" it. The almost 4 year old, who loves movies and sits through everything, got bored almost immediately. I thought the plot was way too complex for little kids and I was, as usual, completely unimpressed with Disney's insistence on using the word "idiot" in every animated movie.

So yeah, I really didn't care for it, but it wasn't because of the guns. I just thought they missed the mark.

Great graphics, though.

[Sarah (Sterling Creek)]

Thanks for this Kristen. My husband and I work in the firearms industry. Last night the boys were watching Velveteen Rabbit (by their request) and at some point they wandered outside where we were sitting on our porch ending our weekend. They have a couple toy rifles and they picked them up and proceeded to play Deer & Hunter. Literally one of them perked up horns while the other one "shot" at him. They were using Boy Imagination and I'm not concerned one of them is going to grow up to be a criminal. It allows us to have open, clear discussion on rules of play vs. what they might catch on TV on the news.

[miss.cinders]

I have a very anxious 6 year old hanging to see Cars 2. In #1 the tractor freaked him out so much he would leave the room, or watch the TV from around a corner until that bit was finished. Strange how he could watch Jurassic Park and not get freaked.... He's a rev head too. If it has wheels, he's there and he wants it!

As for guns. All my 5 LOVE playing "bang" [their own very LOUD shooting game where they yell "BANG" when they shoot each other]. We have a huge collection of toy guns - Nerf are the gun of choice. They have all played since they were wee tots. They know the difference between reality & make believe, what war is, how wrong we [as in my family] believe it is. But that isn't what them playing is all about. They run around laughing and giggling - and fighting, cause they're kids - while they play bang. And the best bit, they are OUTSIDE while they play, not sitting in front of a TV or computer!

Glad I'm not the only one who let's their kids play "bang".