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June 16, 2011

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Ever seen the movie "Over the Hedge"? It's worth 1.5 hours of your life to watch the HOA Pres. blow a gasket!

I'd give anything to have a HOA. I'm an American expat in sunny Dublin, Ireland and my neighbor's 2 square feet of grass (aka his front "garden") never gets cut and we live in a mist of white dandelion fluff all summer long. At least it blocks the view of his kids smoking pot on the front steps.

GO DAWGS!

Long live UGA VIII! (Who, unfortunately, went to his reward 04/02/11, due to lymphoma. RIP, UGA.)

HOAs are an excuse for petty little Napoleons to exercise their power over their neighbors. Who ELSE would be on the HOA board? Only busybodies who have too much time on their hands.

I live in a completely wacked out neighborhood with random crap everywhere. I kind of like the idea that someday I could haul a semi-wrecked couch home and park it out front and no one would give me a hard time about it. I won't do it, BUT I COULD, and that makes me happy.

Homogenous, super-tidy neighborhoods actually make me feel queasy. All Stepford-ish

I am thrilled to live in a HOA free neighborhood now. However in LA, ours used the bright pink paper of shame non-stop. They'd literally duct tape it to things.

I used to have a picture of a sign that my neighbor put in his yard about cleaning up your dogs poop. They put a pink sign (handwritten and spelled wrong) about how those signs were forbidden and then he put up another sign about the pink handwritten signs. It was very funny. I think there were six signs before the HOA got tired of it and added an addendum to their ridiculous sign laws.

So long as I have any other choice, I will NOT live in a neighborhood with HOA fees and all their nonsense rules. I'd rather live in a totally free-for-all neighborhood where I can have a rusty yet functional chain link fence, houses painted bright pink & neighbors who mow their grass at 10 p.m. Oh wait, I already do.

My sister's HOA once had a two part bill. One was to allow two-adult households to have equal rights as married households (it was for the benefit of gay neighbors), and that no more than a 1:2 ratio of bedrooms to people in one house. In other words, if you live in a 3 bedroom, as she does, no more than 6 people could live in the house. My sister was pissed b/c she has 4 kids and that meant if they had another kid they were in violation, AND that meant she'd have to vote against her gay neighbors from having HOA rights like a married couple. She raised holy hell and got the items separated, but not without shaming the perverts on the board who wanted to dictate her family size.

(Incidentally the real reason for the 1:2 ratio was very insidious. It was to keep Mexicans with large extended families out. Sick sick sick.)

I got a really nice email (no really!) from my condo association the other day telling me that my carport was a touch messy and would I please clean it up. And then I did just that. It was such a refreshing change from the times when they'd come and paste a huge sign of shame on the door for the strangest, most petty bullshit and then fine us if we didn't comply immediately (never mind that I just gave birth or were out of town or whatever was going on that caused the issue in the first place). This was neighborly and friendly, I couldn't believe it.

And we use pine straw mulch. It's cheap and plentiful, it isn't made from chopped down trees so I don't have to worry if I'm buying some thing "responsibly harvested" or whatever, it's not treated with chemicals, and it doesn't float away in a heavy rain storm. These are thing I look for in mulch.

My parents live in a neighborhood w/o a HOA but still get shit from one neighbor with a stick jammed up his ass. My parents and younger sister had to fly out to detroit last minute last august when my grandfather got sick and they got stuck out there for 3 weeks caring for him. They came back to 6 notes from our neighbor because the lawn was "overgrown"(kinda hard to mow the lawn from halfway across the country) and a Voicemail from the board of health because the trash cans were ripped open(neighborhood kid we paid forgot to mow and deal w/trash,he agreed to do it but w/the condition that he would get the money after they returned). They adopted a husky in october and every day that dog leaves a huge turd on his lawn and whoever walks him always rewards him after.

Rich people problems.

I used to live in a townhome community with an HOA. Huge waste - they regulated the color you could paint your garage door. My late MIL once got a letter because she had replaced her outdoor light bulb with a regular white one instead of a "regulation" yellow one.

Every time my dear hubby ... comments ... about having to work on our house (which we bought from his parents who did NOTHING for 30 years to it), I point out that 99% of new construction comes with an HOA that is usualy up your b*^% sideways. He usually pipes down after that.... ;)

I would be SO interested to hear one single solitary story of someone who benefitted from a HOA or has served on an HOA.

I am an informant for the HOA so I cannot reveal my identity. However, I feel it is my duty to warn you that ANY SEX which is not executed in the missionary position will elicit a fine. Remember...the neighborhood has eyes.

I'm feeling a little grateful for the hunk o' junk that's been sitting in my next door neighbor's driveway to TWO YEARS. Never thought I'd say that.

And hey, if you want pine needles, look no further than my back yard. Oh, and my front yard. And the sidewalks, drains, bike paths, walking paths....

I've never heard of pine needles as mulch, and I live in OREGON. The land of pine needles.

Wow!! We have HOA's here an they can get crazy but Jenny's was straight bullish!! We were looking at a home in a gated neighborhood with an HOA, now I will probably reconsider.

I wonder who the people are behind the HOA letters, I suspect Sanctimommies all grown up!

I hate HOAs. Even though I live in a neighborhood where people occasionally decide to tie horses to their front porch (yes really, and the hubby tried to convince me it was a dog because nobody would actually do that), I'd rather put up with random redneck decor than to have some uptight biddy send me nastygrams and try to fine me for my redneck decor.

One of the things that drove me crazy as a real estate agent was having to research and explain the HOA documents for all the different communities. A lot of people don't look at the beforehand, and they often contain things that make a person change their mind about a house they love (the biggies here are no boats/RVs in driveways, and pet restrictions).

There's a house two streets over from us that's painted mauve, which has effectively destroyed all credibility of our HOA in my eyes.

My mother (over in Lawrenceville, GA) got into a straight up lawsuit over whether or not she could turn her garage into a bedroom/bathroom for my grandmother to live in. My grandmother who was dying of cancer. The H.O.A. there hounded my family and tried to take secret videos of my grandmother to prove that she really wasn't that sick and should not have to have a lower floor living space. I LOATHE H.O.A.'s and will never, EVER, live in a neighborhood that has one.

I made a very deliberate decision not to move into a neighborhood with an HOA. If this means I must put up with non-standard fencing and the occasional front lawn filled with cheap plastic windmills, fake rabbits, and too many gnomes, so be it. Ain't nobody gonna tell me I can't grow tomatillos in my front yard, or fine me for keeping a rain barrel.

A delicious rant to accompany the ill-advised 4th cup of coffee I am currently enjoying. Wheeeeeee.

I HATE homeowner associations! I own a condo complete with a condo association. (I can't sell it because of the economy) Everything you said about your HOA is so true of them too. The part that amazes me is these members were the nicest people until they got on the board. Now they are just pure evil. It seems with this "power" does not come responsibility, only the need for more power. Yet, they can't tell the grouchy old coot who believes rocks should stay in the river to mind his own business. Since his dues are paid up and yours are not he gets to complain and make you change.

My mother recently received a notice that the stripe on her canvas patio awning was not regulation width!

This is such a foreign concept to me up here in MA. I'm sure these home/communities exist, just never anywhere near me. It would drive me fa-reeking bananas. I would have to have a roaming troll statue that appears on people's lawns all summer, just to cause a flurry of "ACK! TROLL!" notes.

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