For the last few weeks, I've been feeling, well, pregnant.
Don't freak out. That's how I describe any bodily ailment that cannot be explained by a cold, flu, stomach virus, or weird rash.
"God, I'm feeling like shit I must be pregnant!"
Then you think to yourself that if you're not pregnant then what the hell is wrong because however you're feeling sucks.
And that's exactly where I'm at.
Not pregnant. Feeling like I'm pregnant. Which can only mean one thing:
My period is coming back.
[I'll pause here to let all my male readers head to HomeDepot.com]
I should expect it since about 7-8 months after I have a kid I think I'm pregnant when really I'm just getting my period. But every time it takes me off guard and I spend way too much money on a fucking pregnancy test when I should really be buying a few pounds of dark chocolate and some Midol.
Next time...Okay, no. There will be no next time. But let's focus on the issue at hand which is that I feel like crap, which is a short way of saying ridiculously emotional, exhausted, sensitive, anxious, snippy, snappy, and plain old bla.
Add a little "woe is me" on there for an added bonus.
It only takes something small and generally quite bearable to turn me into the Incredible Hulk, made worse by the fact that I can actually see it happening and sort of can't control it which is not so good for a control freak. Or a mom with kids who are looking like their mom just turned into a huge green muscular guy on steroids.
And even though current life has its stressors, there's nothing out of the ordinary, or at least that I don't generally handle on a daily basis without the Incredible Hulk impression.
I've always been able to manage somehow. Giving myself a firm self-talking to, treating myself to a few pretty things to make it through, and surrounding myself with positivity, or at least, a bunch of people who won't be offended when I uncharacteristically snip at them.
And I'm totally, 100% all for giving it a try this time too, but on the other hand, I feel like maybe I should cut myself a little break. And put a hand out to the medical community that I pay for on a monthly basis to be there just in case I need to be told that I just have a cold. Or that my home scale is wrong.
Or that I might need some mood drugs.
So, for those of you hormone experts out there, what say you? Will this resolve once my period actually comes back? (If my memory serves me well, I do believe it does, though my pre-period week is hell).
Or is this how I'm going to be every week or oh-god-no 3 weeks before my period? And will taking the pill (or something with hormones) make it worse, better, the same? (I typically do pretty terribly with hormones so I've always avoided them since before I was pregnant with Quinlan).