Why my kids will be wearing the Old Navy Gay Pride shirts

The new Old Navy gay pride shirts caused quite a stir last week and I've been searching for them since their supposed launch date (yesterday), but have yet to see them listed on their site.

If you haven't seen the new Love Proudly line, they're pretty cute rainbow shirts for kids and adults, with 10% of the proceeds going to support the It Gets Better Project.

The opinions about the shirts that I've seen have been pretty supportive, save the few comments that subtly disapprove of the LGBT community. My favorites, though, are how it's inappropriate as parents to use our kids to further our political agendas by wearing a rainbow shirt. 

But really, what kids aren't part of furthering their parents' own beliefs?

It's no different than when they wear a cross necklace or ride in a car with a fish on it.

And it's not just religion.

It's all the lessons, values, and morals that we think are important that we proselytize to our children.

It's called "parenting."

And in my world, it's impossible to separate politics from parenting. We make the best choices we can for our kids based on our own experiences.

Sometimes we just make choices - like Tiger Mom. Or Genderless Children Mom.

We might discover that our choices are wrong completely or that they might just be wrong for them. It'll be up to our kids to decide, experience the world, and form their own opinions.

And hate us for the rest of their lives.

But I'm their mother, which means it's my job to educate them about why we choose what we do for our family.

After spending years trying to explain why other people believe in certain things, hoping to give my kids a veritable buffet of choices, let's say for religion, for example, I've realized that it's okay, even healthy, to have a strong belief system in one thing and not another.

It's okay to say "this is what our family values" and in the next breath "and other families might not value the same thing."

And "Boy are they idiots."

(Ha).

Putting the Old Navy rainbow shirt on my kids is my choice. It's something that I believe in.

I see this as a teaching moment - an opportunity to begin what will be a lifelong discussion about differences and acceptance.

And I'm more than happy to explain why I think these shirts are cool, as well as why my girls will never be wearing the "Looking for my Prince Charming" shirt on the next rack over.

Comments

[kids t-shirt]

All parents do desire that their children will be gorgeous and attractive. Parents do love to dress their children in clothing that are of top quality.

[Felicia]

The shirts are not available online. You have to go to "select" ON stores to get them.

http://www.coolmompicks.com/2011/06/looking_for_the_old_navy_gay_p.php

Pity, my son would have loved one...or that Prince Charming one, if it were in pink.

[Kimommy]

Rats! I can't find the shirts online.
Isn't part of the fun of having a kid dressing them up in things they will resent us for later? Whether it's plaid pants and puffy sleeves or a gay pride tee, we are using our kids to express ourselves. If a kid is old enough to have an opinion about what they wear, then, I think, as parents, we should respect that. Until then (my son is 7 months), I plan on using him as an adorable billboard.

[MissHawk]

I have a 7yr old. We talk constantly about acceptance of people who are different, the same, color, background, religion, likes & dislikes. It's a very regular topic. She doesn't know however, anything about homosexuality on any level. I haven't lied or deliberately steered her away. We live in a city with a very high gay population...so much so that we are in the news about those numbers. :) I'm not sure how, but she has yet to see girl-girl or boy-boy romantic interactions anywhere (I have no idea how that has happened, but it has). When she sees it and asks about it, we will discuss it with the same acceptance we do of all the different ways of living we've experienced. That's about the only one left. BUT...I don't need to buy her a shirt to tell everyone we love people no matter who or what they are. Love and acceptance is who we are, and you'll know that after talking with us for about 5 minutes. I don't wear donkey tees (although I'm a screaming Dem), or Obama tees(although I voted for him), or tree-hugger tees, even though it's a huge statement about what we believe and think. We don't NEED to announce it to the world to make it so. It's a great cause that I completely support and see a need for, but I will just donate my $ or my time. I don't wear 'save the rainforests' tees either, but I'm still doing my part. You don't have to be 'loud' to have a belief, no? And unfortunately, the gay/lesbian community is still so controversial for so many people, why would we want to embroil our children in that? Adults (as evil as they are) will just bring the children into the "debate" if you will. I really don't want that for my own kids.

[Jill]

Can't find the shirts?? Anyone find them yet? So want for my DD and DS!

[Mom101]

I love your comment, Jaelithe.

[Marta]

I can't wait to dress my children in them as well and explaining the important message!

[Karen (SubMommy)]

I'm honestly NOT trying to make light of your post, here - it's a serious topic and I'm with you, especially because they are supporting a cause that is reaching out and saving lives.

but, at first glance, I thought one of your links said, "genderless CHICKEN mom."

It made my brain hurt for a second.

[Emily]

I just want to be able to wear rainbows and have it mean that I like rainbows. I am not particularly glad that my rainbow brite love was stolen and given an agenda.

Regardless, I think that parents choose tons of things for their kids under the guise of 'not choosing'. Think vaccinations (or not), circumcision (or not), raising them vegetarian (can greatly affect their digestive systems and make it impossible for them if they ever disagreed and wanted to be carnivorous), etc.

[Tessa]

Rock on! This is a great post. Raising children with a social conscience is essential.

[Jenna]

I appreciate your conviction that parents should be teaching their kids values. My family has a very strong religious background, and I plan on instilling that in my children. It is our job as parents to expose our kids to our family's values.

Jenna
momofmanyhats.blogspot.com

[Jaelithe]

There's another thing you didn't mention that really, really irks me about the argument that Old Navy shouldn't be offering the shirts for kids because that's just encouraging parents to use their children as political props or something.

What if you ARE a kid with two moms or two dads?

Cuz, you know, I would have worn this shirt of my own volition and proudly when I was a kid, because it delivers a message ABOUT MY OWN FAMILY. In fact I would have had a much happier childhood in general if the world of the 1980s had been the sort of place where a retailer as big as Old Navy would be willing to sell these shirts at the mall.

[KMayer]

thx for this -- going to Old Navy to stock up now!

[Bonnie]

I'd love to get one for me and my daughter. Looks like they are only selling them in select stores right now. Hope to see them in ALL stores.

[Amelia Sprout]

I can't find them, the haters better not have won.

I learned from an early age that gender didn't matter when it came to who you loved and wanted to date. Benefit of having an out and proud gay uncle. I want the same for M and while she doesn't have a uncle who came out before it was something that even had a name, I can get her a shirt with a rainbow on it and explain what it means to wear it. Knowing her, she'll tell everyone what it means, and I love her for that.

[Sherry]

I recently quoted the ever worldly and insightful Hallmark Industries on my blog and I think the saying also applies to your sentiments: "Behind every great kid is a parent who thinks they are f-ing it up".

We just do the best we can, live the way we feel will better the world and ourselves and hope to god (goddess, allah, flying spaghetti monster) that our kids make informed decisions that don't embarrass us in front of our friends. Ha!

I'll be buying a shirt for my pumpkin too...

[Kami]

Yes. And I was just starting to finally get over my girl crush on you...wear them proud!

[Jenny]

I don't see how this is any different than getting college alma mater tshirts for my kids, or NFL jerseys or what have you. It's something I support, and if they want to support it too, then great. You can't separate your politics from your parenting any more than you can your religious beliefs (or non-belief.) Now, my husband and I disagree on politics so I don't get Obama tshirts or bumper stickers, we agree to respectfully disagree. But human rights aren't politics anyway.

[Jenya Cassidy]

Great post! It's true - kids are going to grow up and make up their own minds NO MATTER WHAT. It is still our responsibility to role model our values whether religous, political or just good manners. We have to teach what we value and they will eventually accept or reject our teachings. We just do the best we can.

[Mom101]

This is why I love you.

I actually found it interesting that someone labeled this as a "political issue" and not a human dignity issue.

If our children wore tees that said "USA for Africa" would that be inappropriate? What if it said "Eco baby" or "Adopted?" All political issues too?

Really, I think this issue just makes people uncomfortable. All the more reason these tees need to be out in the word. Go Old Navy.

[Rachel]

Thanks for writing this! I am going to look for those shirts! Kids are born tolerant, without any biases...it is sad that our world today is still intolerant of so many cultures, spiritual groups, and lifestyles. I think it is prefectly appropriate for your kids to wear these shirts...I'm they don't care if someone is gay or straight...we should all look at the world with the unbiased eyes of childern, and I think everyone would get along a bit better :)

[B]

I myself am uncomfortable with putting political stuff on my kids because of the commentary it evokes. However, that is the point of your article isn't it? I'm enforcing my beliefs (in this case the hope to shelter my kids a little longer from the nastiness of agenda driven people), and you yours. I can get behind that.

[CJ]

LOVE the shirts!!! Thanks for pointing me in their direction! I'm off to outfit the entire family! Two moms and three kids!

[magpie]

Yeah!

[Vinobaby]

Parents always "force" their beliefs and values upon their children. You take them to church, comment on the news, explain anything political--your beliefs are going to be imprinted on them. Whether or not they follow those beliefs as they mature and can make decisions on their own is up to them.

Our kids deserve to learn fairness, kindness, and self-worth no matter which way they may sway or love. By starting early, we can save future generations from pain and persecution.

I'd love to find my Kiddo one of those shirts.

Cheers.
VB

[AmyH]

My kids wore "My Mama's For Obama" shirts during the election. I plan to buy the Old Navy shirts as well. I think it is all about being open to different lifestyle choices and tolerating those that you do not agree with. I think that is the biggest lesson here. You don't have to be gay to support the gay community. You don't have to have an abortion or even be personally for the right to have an abortion to support other's decisions to have one. My biggest lesson for my kids will be that their beliefs can be different from others and still just as valid.

[Julie Marsh]

[standing ovation]

These shirts celebrate love, above and beyond any political stance or religious beliefs. There's a significant difference between shirts like these that promote love and respect - and those, like the "President Poopyhead" tees, that do not.

[Lindsey]

I'm now looking for these shirts too, as I want to buy them for my whole family. Thanks for your wise and compelling words. I totally agree. xox