It's a regular occurrence around here to spend the weekends alone, but when it's a holiday, even if one of them happens to be a Hallmark one, I'm a little more emotional.
I blame it on being a celebrator who's married to a not-so-celebrator, and no matter how much grandeur you provide for everyone else, no one will be able to match it.
I'm the one with the flowers at the violin recital. And the bouquet of balloons stuff in my trunk for a birthday.
Lately, I've been less worried about my own interpretation of events and experiences and more about how my kids see them. I've got two that are old enough now to notice that mom's birthday and Mother's Day aren't a big deal.
And a vacillate between just sucking it up, smiling, and accepting that "we'll celebrate later" which means in 2014 I've got a good week of birthdays and Mother's Day coming to me or getting visibly annoyed because it's not right and I don't want the kids to think that it's okay.
I bandaged my disappointment in spending my Birthother's Day alone without so much as a card from my husband by spoiling the kids at the Super Target toy section.
Later, I made myself cupcakes and icing.
And after a couple of "woe is me" shots of tequila, I decided I was done with all this nonsense and went to bed early, hoping to start today with a rested spirit and a better attitude.
I can't think of a better way to celebrate Mother's Day than with the four little people who made this day more than just any other day.
And really, when I close my eyes and imagine myself in paradise, I'm not sitting alone on a beach with a drink in my hand.
I'm sitting on a beach, drink in hand, with all my kids are right there with me playing in the sand.
Happy Mother's Day!