Judge not lest you have a daughter who grows up to be a stripper

It rings true that the parenting reality you're experiencing right now seems like the hardest. But fast forward a few years, maybe a couple more than that, and there's a good chance you'll be wishing for those nights when the biggest problem you have is that your baby is teething.

Soon enough, your baby who won't stop putting stuff in her mouth might just been your teen that won't stop putting stuff in her mouth (if you get my meaning) and suddenly you're willing to pay money for the sleepless nights when at least you knew your kid was confined to a crib.

It's easy for me to say that I'll be the parent who will support my child regardless of their decisions and life choices right now. I know how bad it can actually be, so the regrettable tattoos, the scary piercings, the goofy boyfriend with quite possibly the worst haircut I've ever seen seem like a walk in the park.

I'll see your blue hair streak and give you a septum piercing.

But when it actually happens. When my sweet baby comes home with some dragon tattoo on her leg, or a belly button piercing, or some older guy in a snazzy car, I bet it'll be harder than cleaning up the pee off the floor.

I don't even want to think about all the other decisions I might have to deal with as a mother of teenagers. And then adults. Decisions that I can say now I'll be supportive of but when they actually happen, well, who the hell knows.

I hope I can be as supportive as my own mother, who, oddly enough, has always been as non-judgmental as they come. She's had her moments, and rightfully so - when I told her I was getting a divorce. When I announced that I was having a baby out of wedlock.

That's not necessarily like saying I'm working as a stripper for a living, but for someone who's super religious, I might as well have been. 

My mom and I disagree on a lot - religion, politics, the list goes on - and yet she never guilts me or preaches to me or tries to change who I am.

I can only hope that I approach my own children's decisions with the same open mind. Until then, I'll take the butt wiping and temper tantrums while I can get them.

Comments

[Baby Favors]

Very hardest thing to be a parent because teenage is the age to take care specially for daughters.Informative blog.

[Katie]

Me and my girlfriends were just talking about how we used to party at the "cool" moms house. You know her? She let us drink, drug and carry on under her roof, while she would drink, drug and carry on herself. At the time, we thought that was the coolest ish in the world. Her house for sure beat the cemetary or the playground where cops could easily nab us and bring us home to our super lame parents to be punished to the point of social extinction.
Then, I declared if I was ever a mom, I'd be the cool mom.
Now? HELL NO!
I know I need to be open to the fact that my girls will party and stir it up, it's inevitable. But the idea of them behaving as I did, makes me want to scream. Finding the line between overprotecting and trusting is going to prove quite the challenge for me. (My husband's already researching local convents, just sayin'.)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

[Julie Marsh]

Such a good reminder to appreciate that for now, my kids are driving me crazy right here at home, instead of being out god knows where doing god knows what (like I used to do).

[The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful]

I've decided I just want my kids to outlive me. It's midnight. I'm morbid. Sigh.

[Gertie]

Dealing with the choices and decisions of young children can be frustrating and annoying.

Dealing with the choices and decisions of older children can be frustrating, annoying and heartbreaking.

[Amelia Sprout]

I really hope to be the mom my mom wasn't/isn't being. You are so lucky she has been there for you. I remind myself regularly that this will be nothing compared to when she's a teenager. Also, there is little she can do to shock me then, seeing as I was such a wild child. Good thing too, because I sense she's going to try.

[Beth]

Lovely

[Elizabeth]

Amen!

[Sara]

I think if my Mother could survive everything I have put she & my Dad through, I can survive what I will go through with my 2. I hope & pray I can be supportive, give them options and try to keep my mouth shut when it's needed. I hope that when they bring home some boy with one thing on his mind I am not standing there with a shotgun saying "if you touch her...". I hope that at some point in their lives I can be a friend and not just Mom. I hope that the battles I am choosing at this age will make the choices they make later on better ones. It's not about hair, piercings, tattoos, or the clothes they wear (as long as they are fairly appropriate), it's about them becoming compassionate, healthy, functional adults. I hope that I can guide them and teach them all the things my Mom & Dad taught me, and I hope at some point they listen. I hope that someday I have I.Q. points with them...right now I know nothing and I was born yesterday, LOL. I am not ready to let go of them, and I hope I never have to!

[Jennie]

Amen! I currently have a 3 year old and one more on the way. I already tell everyone that I'm more worried about the teenage years than anything these babies can throw at me! I just hope they both end up being goody-goodies like I was. I used to think I was kind of lame for being such a boring teenager, but looking back...I should be so lucky to parent such a "lame" kid!

[Laura]

Amen to that! I think this many days of the week as my one-year-old won't take a nap or eat her lunch or whatever little thing is causing "difficulty" that day. Ha. Difficulty.

[Fairly Odd Mother]

Our neighbor always said to me, "Little kids, little problems", as he shook his head over something one of his teens had done. And, yeah, I get it. Being woken up by a toddler at 2am because of a monster in the closet isn't the same as waking up at 2am and realizing your 17 year old didn't come home.

And when my then-4yo colored herself with Sharpie, that's nothing compared to a boyfriend's tattoo across her back. (shudder)

I know I won't agree with all their choices, I just hope I can live with them without needing years of therapy.