Happy Birthother's Day to me.

Every year my birthday falls within a few days of Mother's Day, which isn't exactly like being born on December 23, but close enough that it creates quite a challenge for my husband.

This year it's on the same weekend.

He can usually handle about one gift giving holiday a year. And by "handle" I mean cobbling together some sort of odd last minute something or other after calling my friends to get ideas that he could also get from the shopping site THAT I PUBLISH.

But combine two days where celebrations of some kind are required and his anxiety takes over and he under shoots. Like waaaaaaaay under.

A couple of years ago he flew Liz and Thalia down to surprise me, which was by far the best gift I've ever gotten, so much so that when I get the fake wood display case for my running medals, raise my eyebrow, and say something like "Hmmm, now this is nice..." he gives me the "Remember that time I flew Liz down!" speech as if that's supposed to cover me for at least five more birthdays to come.

So every year, save the "Liz and Thalia year" (Yes, it totally has a name), he asks me what I want and then tells me how hard it is to pick something for me "even though you have those gift guides and stuff" and I just tell him not to worry about it because I bought myself a "little something" while I was in NYC last month and he says "what did you buy?" and I say "oh nothing much" which is code for "I was just trying to pick up a lipstick for Liz at Bendels and this Rebecca Minkoff bag gagged and bound me and wouldn't let me leave the store until I bought it."

What I really want is to enjoy the company of myself, perhaps some close friends, toss back a few tasty drinks, and not have to say "We don't talk about 'ginies' or 'butts' at the table" while I eat delicious food that is hot and served to me.

I was fortunate to get just that and more last year, which I fondly call "The Day Chef Sam Talbot Told Me I Was Too Hot to Be a Mom and I Nearly Forgot I Was Married and Pregnant" followed by "The Night MetroDad Got Us Thrown Out of a Karaoke Joint" as well as a few weeks ago, so I told my husband during the yearly "I waited until two days before your birthday to get you a gift can you tell me what you want" talk that I'm perfectly happy just getting a little extra time in my bed, a little extra cake on my plate, and for the love of God, one evening where I don't have to participate in the bedtime routine of at least 3 out of 4 children.

But then when I was out yesterday afternoon, I remembered that I'd been wanting a pancake griddle and a real tea pot, not just a regular pot like my mom who uses her wok for everything (tea water, popcorn), so I sent him a picture and a few links to help him out.

And then I told him to include a membership to AARP.

Fifteen years ago when I was starting my post-undergraduate internship, I was asked what age constituted "middle age." I said 35.

Apparently, I wasn't that far off.

Comments

[Karen (SubMommy)]

Happy Birthday!

Several years into our marriage I told SubHub, "Look. I don't want to have to plan my own birthday, or buy my own present. When you think about it, you kinda have it easy. I don't care about Valentine's Day, Mother's Day isn't a big deal to me, and I always plan your birthday AND our anniversary, and I have the kids do something nice for you on Father's day. You can do it. I promise."

I'm happy to report he's really stepped up his game since that conversation.

[Asianmommy]

Happy Birthday & Mother's Day, too!

[Kristen]

Thanks so much, Lindsay. That means a lot. And thanks for memorializing it in a photo.

[Homeowner Insurance]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! My Uriel's birthday is on the 16th, so there's more time for me to prepare for his special day.

[Lindsay]

Ha! I'm thinking of getting a carpet steamer for my birthday. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? We are in the same boat!

Happy Birthothers Day, Kristen! When I saw you a few weeks ago, I thought to myself that you look better than ever! The years become you. :)

[Julie Marsh]

Seriously. Those oysters and our early morning, beignet-earning outings. Better than just about any other gift.

Cast iron tea pot. I hear they're the best.

[MetroDad]

A cooking griddle and a teapot? Get a sitter. I'm jumping on a plane with Liz with a microphone and a grocery bag filled with vodka.

Just kidding, K. Griddle and teapot are great gifts. I'm 42 and I'm wondering when the day is going to come when I just give up and say, "Oh hell, I don't know. Just get me a pair of socks."

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Issa]

Okay this made me laugh. I am buying myself a Mother's Day gift tonight. A waffle iron. What? I want homemade waffles on Sunday. Which I will make for myself.

Isn't being an adult awesome?

I hope you have a great birthday Kristen.

ps. My brother always says he hates this time of year. My birthday was April 20th. My mom's was the 28th. Then Mother's Day.

[Sabz]

Happy Birthday K! Following u into middle age this July ;) have a fabulous YOU day.

[Jaelithe]

Happy Birthother's Day week! My son was born on Mother's Day. I remember everyone I saw saying to me while I was in (very painful, unmedicated) labor, "Oh, isn't this the best Mother's Day present you'll ever get?" and me wanting to punch everyone who said that in the face. But of course they were all absolutely right. And now I get all maudlin about "my perfect Mother's Day present" every Mother's Day.

This means I pretty much don't ever do much to celebrate Mother's Day for myself, though, because I'm always planning for, having or recovering from a kid's birthday party. And if the Liz and Thalia Year is a handy excuse for your husband, just think if he could say, "Remember that one time when that child we made together was born?"

I would argue that my husband did far less work than I to acquire that particular Mother's Day gift.

(Of course, my husband's birthday is also in early May, and I may have implied once or twice that my perfect, eternal birthday gift to him was that whole birthing his child thing. Maybe.)

[ClumberKim]

Our anniversary and Mother's Day are always within a few days of each other. Last year he bought us matching iPads, which will always be unbeatable (unless we get the new version this year).

What I really want is for him to get up with the kids and let me sleep until noon. Hell will freeze over before that happens.

[The Dalai Mama]

I have taken the pressure of my husband and he and the kids plant flowers for me every mother's day while I watch, supervise and drink coffee--because sadly 10am is too early for red wine.

My mom has your same issue-this year her birthday falls on Mother's day. We don't do gifts anymore for her--we usually do yard work for her and then have dinner.

Middle-aged. I'll be 40 this year and every year my gift requests get more an more practical. Totally sucks and I totally can't help it.

[Vicky]

I think so many of us could write this post. Apparently, as my birthday is close to Mother's Day too, I ask for the same thing each year- sleep in, no cooking and books. I give my husband the list of books and off he dutifully goes to amazon.

What I really want each year is a house alone, time with friends and some hot food and drinking. To not have to wipe a butt while eating or pick up spilled food is a nice bonus.

Happy early birthday girl!

[Summer]

My last few gifts save my Nook have been a griddle, a steamer, and a waffle maker.. 2 of these were from my mom, but they were all asked for. I just turned 23 in march. :-I

[Sarah]

My mother in law has the combo: Birthday, Anniversary, and Mother's Day in the same two week period. I've never envied her that! My mom also had the Christmas, Anniversary, Birthday, New Year's Eve combo week. That I did envy a bit because it's a solid week of joy.

[Tabitha]

My birthday is in June, so my gifts REALLY can't be combined! Which means I get 2 crappy gifts instead of one semi-nice one. This year, my wish list includes a steam mop and a dutch oven. I'd settle for a day to sleep in and not have to fix any meals, though.

[julie @ Mommy Said What?]

Two words: Flip Flops.

(See? I can reform)

Happy Birthday, Kirsten. Forever my inspiration. :)

[mom101]

Damn. And I was kind of hoping for another flight down to Atlanta.

2012?

[Sara]

BTW...I don't really want anything either. I am not into a lot of crap I have to dust, jewelry, flowers or appliances. Let me sleep in...yeah right! I am one of the lucky ones, my hubby and kids show me they love me and appreciate me a lot of the time. I love those hugs and kisses!!

[Sara]

My husband buys me nothing...he says I am not his Mother....LOL!

[Amelia Sprout]

I got an enameled dutch oven for Christmas, and I sort of want to make out with it. I totally get it.

[linsey taylor]

Happy Birthday and have fun making pancakes! Please say 35 isn't middle age! I'm 34. :/ I still feel like a hot mama though! :)

[jodifur]

We must have the exact same birthday. Because my birthday always falls with days of Mother's Day too, sometimes on the same day, and yes, it is largely ignored. I feel you.

[Katie]

The husband and I went to a local card shop last weekend to pick out Mother’s Day cards for our, um Mom’s, duh, and while we were there I may have mentioned, discreetly, how last year I did NOT get a card or anything else from said husband even though I was carrying our SECOND child in my nauseous and bloated uterus (yes, my uterus was nauseous, I’m an anomaly). I may have, discreetly, mentioned this in the presence of the lovely sales woman who wanted me to also purchase a menagerie of “You’re the Best Mom in the World” crap. She gave the husband a “look” and pointed out some of their “higher-end” cards. You know, the ones that play music when you open them? That’s higher-end in South Jersey.

Hopefully his dumb ass does not ignore the discreet hints we provided him.

A pancake griddle sounds awesome, as long as it’s not you flipping flapjacks on Sunday.

Happy Birthday and Mother's Day!!!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

My mother's birthday is May 2nd which is far enough from Mother's Day that I can't be tempted by the "combo gift", and it's so, so, so hard. Your kids have my sympathy.

I practically weep when I get vacuums as gifts, so I don't think your birthday list is pathetic at all. Pass the Depends.

Happy Early Birthday BTW!

[april]

Happy early birthday! My MIL's birthday is Monday, so we're still trying to figure out what to get her ... I'm thinking potted plant for Mother's Day (she's old) but I'm at a loss for her birthday. My FIL is the same way, his birthday and Father's day are always within a week of each other.