Last week my mom informed me that she is going to Israel to minister to Holocaust victims. This was after she told me that she'd prefer not to come down and help me out with the kids for my half marathon if she didn't have to because "she hates airports and flying."
Don't worry. I'm getting to the "Holocaust victims" thing. Bear with me.
As it turns out, she took a trip to Sacramento with a friend, had a bad layover experience on the way back, and suddenly she doesn't want to fly unless, well, it's for Jesus apparently.
The weird part (well, one of the weird parts, I should say) is that she flew on the airline that my husband works for, except instead of asking us to help her book a ticket or at least, advise her on which route to take, she did it all herself.
And so, she gave me this whole "well, I'd prefer not to have to come if you don't really need me, so let me know if your husband makes it back from his trip in time for you to do the race so I don't have to come."
So I told her not to worry about it, because, um, what am I supposed to say to that and that we'd figure it out and well, yeah.
Then she sent me an urgent email about needing my kids' social security numbers because she was getting her affairs in order for a mission trip to Israel.
Is she taking a bus to Israel? A boat? A trolley car? Because last I checked, you have to fly there, for like, a really long time.
I put it off for a few days because I was a little annoyed and then after I got the ALL CAPS I NEED THE SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBERS NOW AND IF I TYPE IN CAPS YOU WILL GET THE MESSAGE SO CALL ME CHILD THAT WAS PULLED FROM MY VAGINA WITH TONGS.
So I did. And I was proud. I didn't even mention the whole flying thing once. Not even a joke.
"Is the Lord going to beam you up to Jerusalem?"
Then she told me that as part of her trip she would be ministering to Holocaust victims.
I think I asked her to repeat herself because it might have been the craziest thing I've ever heard.
My head was filled with questions: Aren't they Jewish? They made it through the Holocaust, why would they want to switch Gods? Are you sure that this is a good idea?
Have you completely lost your mind?
There are about 1000 things wrong with this scenario, not including the whole flying thing. But instead of giving her a piece of my mind, I just listened to her.
The trip is booked. I'm not going to change her mind.
And as a newly minted 60-year-old, I figure she's earned the right to do whatever the hell she wants without her offspring giving her a hard time about it.
I'm hoping that the Holocaust victims will do that for me.