Silly Mom

I boarded the plane for San Francisco yesterday with Bridget in my arms and arrived at my seat - a window way in the back. 

You could see people smile and then sigh with relief as I passed by their row in the super crowded plane. 

"That's a mighty cute baby," a man said, looking up from his Kindle as I waited for people to put their bags in the bins and find their seats. 

"We'll see how cute she is in a few hours," I joked. 

He smiled. 

I arrived at my seat and sat down with the baby, stuffing my bag under the seat, and tugging at the broken window shade with my 2-year-old toddler manicure I forgot to fix.

I tucked my free Wifi card that I optimistically grabbed from the GoGo Flight guy at the gate into my seat pocket hoping I'd get a chance to do some work and finish up a column I'd been writing in my head for the past few days. 

The woman next to me in the middle seat pulled out her Elle Decor magazine and started tapping away at her iPhone with her beautifully manicured fingers, two of which were weighed down by large diamonds. 

"I'm in the back in the middle seat stuck next to a ..." she typed. I could see what she was writing. 

She spoke to the man on the aisle seat about her investments and her work and the Wall Street movie they both watched.

She flashed her fancy platinum American Express card that she pulled from her Tory Burch clutch wallet.

I nursed and slept and nursed and slept. Bouncing, holding, reading a hilarious post interrupted by bouncing and holding. 

"Oh, if you need to go to the bathroom or something, I can, you know, hold the baby," she said, reluctantly, as if she knew it was what she should say.

"Thanks," I smiled. I'd sooner give her to a polar bear, I wanted to say. 

Then she went back to reading and watching and chatting, all the time looking at Bridget every time she seemingly got too close - waiting for her to burst into tears so she could say "THIS is why I don't like babies! SEE!"

It never happened.

I waited until the man was awake and the lady was done eating her cheese plate that she ate with a knife and fork like it was a roast duck.

I returned to my seat after standing with the baby for awhile, and noticed the man had plugged in one of this headphones in the double jack. I was surprised that he got it to work and asked him about it. 

"Sure, it works. But only on one side!" They both laughed as I sat down. 

Silly mom. With her little baby. 

The two bid each other good-bye. No words to me as I waited for everyone to deplane before I got up.

We took the same elevator to baggage claim, and as she walked to get her bag she saw me as I met the driver holding a sign with my name. 

I pulled my sunglasses down from my head.

And waved.

Comments

[cosmetic surgery perth]

The ending of the story is simple fantastic. I love it.

[nil zed]

I don't understand all the cattiness. It's not catty. She was there. She knows the attitude the woman had. I do to, and damn I would've liked to have had a driver to meet me and make me look important.

I agree with Roberta, far worse than the children are the adults who act like one. Almost every flight I've ever been on has had the loud guy who drinks to much, or the complainer who cannot be made content by any action of the staff, or other sorts of inconvenient adults. But I've yet to encounter a kid who cried more than a few minutes, or whose excitement over the airplane trip overrode their manners more than I could bear.

[Betsy]

Love this. Especially the end. The last time I flew with my children I sat behind a plastic-surgery-addicted woman who said, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Oh great, a mother on either side of us."
I had an incredible urge to offer to wipe her ass, or her chin should she need assistance, since I'm such an expert.Arghh.

[Jessica in Canada]

Kristen, this is not catty. I have flown with my children a lot, and you hear horror stories and experience rudeness so much from other people that you are immediately on the defensive. The lady & man may have been nice enough, and yes, you don't know their story, but three facts remain: she typed something rude on her phone, they did not take an interest at all in your baby, nor did they help you. They may have taken for granted how well behaved the baby was (and maybe if she was fussy they would have been fine with that too, but you'll never know), but the only jump you made was that they were surprised you are an important person. Is that so bad?

[amanda]

Wonderful. I love happy endings.

And, this is not catty, it's ironic and fantastic.

[Jenny]

Catty? I don't think so, but...Who cares! Hilarious, and true.
And she was texting that she was STUCK next to you and your baby.

LOVE that you had a car waiting, she saw it, and that Bridget did so well on the flight. Yay you!

[Redneck Mommy]

I confess, I got a thrill of satisfaction for you at the end of the post. I've been there. Judged by someone else and had that small moment of making their heads turn and think twice about their judgement afterwards.

Kudos to you K.

[The Muskrat]

That's why I love being named "Will Workforfood." I have drivers all over town!

[early years resources sam]

Hilarious !!

Nice post and thanks for sharing

samx

[Catriona Harris]

I travel for work and travel with my family - and I think this post is fantastic and not catty at all. People fear you when you get on a plane with your child. They just do. I fly with my kids about 3-4 times a year, and more often than not people are rude and not helpful. I've had times when people are supportive and wonderful, but it is rare.

[Angela@beggingtheanswer]

I don't know, I didn't think it was catty so much as it was ironic. You know, like, "The woman expected Kristen to be nothing but a silly mom, when actually she was calm and in control, with a well-behaved infant." The part about the sign by the car simply emphasized that the woman learned her error in a language she could relate to. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

[Aleah]

Eh, I didn't read it as catty... but then again I've gotten the same type of apprehensive glances when I take my boys (4 years and 11 months, respectively) out to a restaurant. The general public opinion seems to be "You'd better keep your kids quiet, AND if I don't like how you keep them quiet, I'm going to get judgmental about that as well."

[Andrea]

I'm with Lisa. This post is completely catty. How do you know she was trying to think of what she 'should' say? Maybe she doesn't have children...or maybe she had 12 of them at home and thought you might need help. The fact is, YOU DON'T know. You accuse her of judging you, yet you totally judged her! If anything, you looked down on her for her manicured nails, nice wallet and choice of credit cards. Wow. Kettle, you're black!

I thought we were supposed to be supportive of each other, our choices, our lifestyles? I don't see anything that the man or woman did that offended you or made you look like a 'silly' mom. It actually sounded like they were being nice and trying to make conversation.

The attitude and superior attitude really is old.

[libby @ ninesandquines]

Amy: "I suggest next time she takes her platinum Amex and purchase herself a business or first class seat. All that Tory Burch and platinum and she's still sitting in coach. ;)" - THAT has to be the BEST comment I have come across isn a LONG time!!!! HAHA!!!!!

Kristen, if I were you I'd have taken the fork she was using to eat her cheese and would have shoved it up....nevermind, you get the picture :-)

[Lisa]

Sorry, found it catty. Slept on it, still find it catty. Honestly, you don't know anything about her, she didn't know anything about you, she apparently made some unfounded judgments about you and you made them about her.

It probably felt justifying to go off to your private car while waving, but the rest of us just slog the kids and car seats and luggage off to the bus to go to the parking area to find our car again. Does that make us losers? Or are we just losers if our lap baby fusses and nurses and fusses and nurses and fusses and nurses but doesn't sleep (which mine did) and spits up on you (which mine also did) and requires an in-seat diaper change (which mine did)?

There's probably humor in here somewhere, but I'm not seeing it. I usually like your posts a lot, but the "I *more* superior" tone is getting to me lately.

[Amy]

I flew alone with my very active 18 month old from rural PA to Philly to Tampa. Everyone I encountered was very nice and very helpful. The super hot 20-something girl sitting next to me from Philly to Tampa was awesome and didn't seem to mind my girl's whining and inability to sit still. When I apologized to Hot 20-Something Girl as we deplaned, she froze my apology with this gem, "Honey, I'd rather sit next to a whiny baby than a guy who paws me the whole flight and then tells me he was just looking for the armrest any day."

[Amanda]

Not catty, just a reminder that nothing is what it appears.

Except my nails, they are as nasty and neglected as they look.

[Kara]

I understand where you are coming from. I, too, have a toddler and we fly quite often. But isn't this post a bit caddy? Shouldn't we be supporting each other as women, no matter what our positions in life might be? We all have a different perspectives on life. Being a working woman or mother of four is hard enough without having to "one-up" each other. Don't you agree? Taking the higher ground is always, always the harder path.

[Susan @WhyMommy]

This is teh awesome.

Rock star!

[Paula/adhocmom]

My daughter is three and I've never flown alone with her. I'm too chicken. she's super hyper, and I swear I don't even know how logistically I would make it through fing security. Now I feel like a lame ass. . . you are a bigger woman than I.

[Trista]

HAHA. Way to rock it like a super star!

[Emma]

I get so furious when I overhear people being assholes about babies on airplanes. I'm light-years away from motherhood, so I don't know why it's such a trigger for me, but it really makes me angry.
I always sit there thinking, "Big fucking deal, so we have to sit next to a baby for a few hours. The parents are most likely severely sleep-deprived; on top of comforting their child, are they also supposed to apologize to the entire aircraft for having the audacity to reproduce AND take advantage of modern air travel?"

If the worst thing that happens to you all day is that you have to be in the vicinity of a fussy baby for a few hours, you're having a pretty good fucking day.

[sday]

just stumbled upon your super rad site. awesome post.

[Amy]

So, I think this is the very first time I'm commenting on your blog but I read your blog just about every day. No, I'm not a mom (unless you count 2 puppies that I treat like children but I'm thinking not). I'm a 34 year old single woman who aspires to be a mom at some point in the future. I feel like I need to do some... well, let's call it research... on what mom's do and how it works. I also am an avid traveler.

I always feel for the mom on the plane. Mom's don't want their kids to scream. I think that's kinda the point people miss. You don't want them to scream more than we don't want to hear it. Some people are compassionate about it and some aren't. I guess it's like that in a lot of situations in life. Just like I didn't want to be sat next to the fat guy or the kid puking. It's really just matter of fact when you fly. Yeah, I've seen some bad parenting on planes but all in all, it's rare. I see bad parenting on the ground, too but it's the proximity of the plane that raises the irritation bar.

This is what I will say about this particular incident. Don't worry about it! If she was so worried about someone encroaching on her space or having a baby next to her, I suggest next time she takes her platinum Amex and purchase herself a business or first class seat. All that Tory Burch and platinum and she's still sitting in coach. ;)

[Jill]

You are awesome.

[Carrie @ barbie clothes]

Great blog..you should be with someone if you travel.
There is a few people who are willing to help you..

[AmyH]

Wonderful! Love the ending. Sorry you had to put up with the other crap.

[Tammy]

LOVE IT! I hate getting smug looks from childless people. As if I amount to nothing because I have an entourage of midgets trailing me. And YAY for having a driver!! ;)

[Cloud]

I'm with the business travel Roberta quoted. I used to fly A LOT for business. So, of course, I had my share of crying babies. But you know, most babies don't cry. Or just cry for a little while. And it is actually not that hard to tune out SOMEONE ELSE'S crying baby (I certainly can't tune out my own....) The flights that were most miserable where the ones where I was stuck next to adults behaving badly.

[Issa]

I adore the ending of this post. Just great. You know she probably spent the next two hours trying to figure out who you were.

You know, that theory that all babies will cry and all toddlers will be a nightmare on a plane makes me crazy. Some do. Mine have before. They don't always do it though.

[Her Bad Mother]

Liz's comment. Win.

[Goddess in Progress]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the end of this post. LOVE.

Seriously, I understand sometimes it can be hard to be next to SOME kids and babies on a plane. But maybe hold off on your Judgy McSuperiorPants until you at least see if the kid is well-behaved or not, Wall Street Manicure Lady. They don't have the damn plague.

Hope you have a great trip.

[Elaine]

I'd sit next to you and your baby any day! And she ate cheese with a fork? Pretentious douche. ;)

[mom101]

A Lincoln Town Car is the best revenge.

[Lindsay Dianne]

Haha, I never had trouble with my baby on the flights that I took with her. I think I was more difficult than my daughter was. I seriously hate getting lodged in a room with strangers for the duration of my trip, but we have to do what we have to do....

[laura]

oooohhhh!!!! Burn!!!!
I bet she had to schlep her bags over to catch BART.

[Roberta]

When I traveled with an infant, 99% of the people I encountered were kind, helpful and understanding. There's always that one jerk, but a business traveler sitting next to me on a leg from Denver to DC said it best: "I don't mind babies. They're just babies. What I really mind is adults who act like babies."

[Amelia Sprout]

Hahahahaaa! I got some odd looks when I, the pregnant woman in jeans, got off at the special drop spot at the car rental where I just get to walk to my car. I loved it.

[Sarah (Sterling Creek Ranch)]

OMW! Love it!

[Boston Mamas]

Wait, what? You didn't say, "Don't you know who I am????" :-)