Motherhood Uncensored

Everything I learned about parenting toddlers I got from Cesar Millan

I call "bullshit" on people who try to compare their dog to a kid. Of course, the kid leash users among you don't help the argument much, but until I can go to work all day long with my kid locked in a crate (well, legally that is) then sorry, I win.

If I hear another person say "Oh, I know what you mean" when I try to describe doing something with my kids only to hear them  say "well, I don't have kids, but I do have dogs!"

Yes, yes. Of course you know what it's like.

I will say, however, that the best parenting technique I ever learned was from a dog trainer. Or really, dog whisperer.

That's right. Everything I needed to know about how to deal with toddlers I got from Cesar Millan.

His concepts (paraphrased a bit here, of course) are simple:

1. Make sure you're the alpha dog in the pack.

2. Walk them into submission.

Seriously, what more do you need to deal with a rammy kid?

Now I wouldn't necessarily use that language, per se', but a kid who knows his parent is the boss and who gets enough exercise tends to listen much better. Their brains are clear. Or tired.

Either way, it works.

Granted I'm not walking my kid around the neighborhood on a leash. Nor am I using a clicker to get him to sit or stay (though there might be something to that).

I'm just instituting consistent consequences for bad choices and getting my kid outside as much as I can. And not surprisingly, I have a whole new kid.

So, all those parenting books? Meh. Just head to the pet section.

My baby is 5!

Back in February 2006, just a few months after I started writing here at Motherhood Uncensored, I decided to start another blog, inspired by this post from a fellow blogger who was creating softies and selling them.

It was called "Cool Mom Shit."

Not kidding.

"You know, it the url reads Cool Moms Hit," Liz said. 

We laughed.

I emailed a few fledgling bloggers that I knew and admired with the idea being that we'd find cool stuff for moms (and their kids) and write short, fun posts that were entertaining. Moms didn't have time for anything other than that. 

So we'd support moms making cool stuff and help connect them with other moms. 

Liz asked if I needed a partner and I said yes. Soon after, we changed the name to "Cool Mom Picks."

Good move, huh?

That was five years ago. 

I can't quite believe where we are today. There were no "review" blogs or advertising or anything else like it. Just the two of us and then over the years, a team of amazing moms, like Julie, Christina, Delilah and a slew of awesome writers. 

My passion became my business. My colleagues are now my closest friends. 

And I'm thrilled to be celebrating a birthday with all of them today. 

In honor of our 5th Birthday, Cool Mom Picks is giving away 5 amazing goody bags every day this week. That's 25 bags. And 25 winners. I hope you'll come visit and toss your name in our virtual hat. 

4 years. 1 month.

There's an empty model home across the street that we'll sometimes peek into and explore - the pristinely decorated rooms. The sparkling kitchen. All staged to perfection.

"I'm going to move there, Mommy" my son tells me. "Then I'll live right across the street from you!"

"I'm sure your wife will loooooove that..." I joke.

He often assures me that he'll never leave, that he'll just be right across the street so that he can have breakfast here. And maybe even dinner.

"We can watch Transformers together!!" he says, excitedly. "And then you can still tuck me in at night."

I don't have the heart to tell him that I won't be doing that for too much longer.  Soon enough he'll be tucking himself in. And then someone else will get that job.

He used to beg me to lay with him at bedtime. And he still does. Sometimes. Except now, after a few minutes, he says "You can leave now, Mom."

I know I'm supposed to raise him up and send him out into the world, where I see him on holidays, special occasions, or when he asks me over to babysit the grandchildren. When we talk through texts and passing phone calls, perhaps an email every few days. 

One day, I'll turn around and he won't be sleeping in the back seat.

But maybe his kids will.

Thus is life.

Happy Belated Birthday, my Drew. My heart.

Feeding our kids should not be a partisan issue

A few days ago I was thrilled to learn that the Internal Revenue Service is now offering tax breaks on breast pumps and other nursing supplies in part to Michelle Obama's efforts to promote breastfeeding as part of her "Let's Move" campaign. 

If you've bought a breast pump lately, then you know that it's a pretty big deal.

But apparently that's pissing a couple of Republicans off - surprise! Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and Sarah Palin both seem to think that it's ridiculous for the government to offer tax breaks to nursing mothers.

As she said at a recent Q&A session on Long Island, "No wonder Michelle Obama is telling everybody, 'You'd better breastfeed your baby,' " said Palin. "Yeah, you'd better, because the price of milk is so high right now."

Yes, clearly Sarah Palin is in tune with us "real people" - with her bestselling book and reality show spoils. I wonder if she knows how much a can of formula costs.

There are no shortage of issues that surround breastfeeding in this country, but the one that makes me nuts is that while the AAP and the WHO recommend breastfeeding through one year and two years, respectively, the resources for women to do so are pathetic.

Women are getting the "Breast is best" message thrown at them from every angle, but yet, they're getting tossed out of restaurants and public places, and being forced to quit due to challenging circumstances at their work.

One might think that breastfeeding is an ideal option for mothers in a lower income bracket, and at first glance it is. But when these women have to go back to work, it's nearly impossible for them to continue.

I pumped full time for five days while I was on vacation without Bridget. And I was on a fancy cruise ship. But in a factory? Or office? With only 2 15-minute breaks?

Forget it.

As one writer stated, "Anyone should be proud that Bachmann breastfed all five of her kids. Surely it was nice she had a husband at her side and financial security enough to stay at home while she took care of her children. Not all mothers in the United States have that luxury."

And it's not just women in lower income brackets that face challenges. Even some of my friends with higher paying higher powered jobs were relegated to pumping in the bathroom.

But it looks like Michelle Obama isn't just giving us lip service. Along with her being quite outspoken about the benefits of breastfeeding, she is leading the way - not just by getting these tax breaks but also by pushing hospitals to be certified "Baby Friendly" and mandating that certain employers provide rooms for nursing mothers (not bathrooms) to express milk.

Yes, it's part of the Affordable Health Care Act that Republicans are trying to repeal. And I'm the first to say that it's not as simple as "Yay - health care for all!"

But let's just say I'm greatly encouraged by this.

It's just too bad that we require laws and acts to help support women feed their kids. And that fights like this are being founght by politicians. And not physicians.

But if that's what it takes to make breastfeeding more accessible (which is what this is all about by the way - not making other moms feel like shit because they don't or can't) then I'm all for it. It's good for our kids, for our mothers, and yes, for our country.

But we need the support of all mothers. Not just the ones wearing blue.

Bridget - 4 months