Excuse me while I freak out for a minute

It seemed like a good idea at the time when my mom offered to watch Bridget while we took the other three kids on a quick little vacation. It didn't matter that I've never really had to pump more than a few ounces here and there. Or that the baby didn't really take a bottle. Yet.

I've never left any of my kids when they were small for any length of time.

But taking the entire gaggle of children wasn't an option. And since my mom (yes, the Chinese Mother) has a reputation of being "The Baby Whisperer," I figured that if there was anyone who could do it, my mom was the one.

And I've been fine - pumping every morning, feeding Briget a bottle so she gets used to it, and getting super excited about the extra sleep I might get (except it just so turns out that she sleeps through the night unlike the 2-year-old that is coming with me).

But then my mom emailed to tell me that I should record myself singing a lullaby and talking to her.

And I lost it.

I know my mom is going to be fine. And people keep telling me that she'll do better with the bottle when I'm not there. And that she'll figure out that I'm not coming home and chill out.

But it's hard not to freak out. Just a little bit.

So, I'd love to hear your happy stories about leaving a breastfed baby. Keyword HAPPY. Please do not tell me about your baby that went on a hunger strike for 4 days.

If you have any advice for me and/or the baby, please share! I've got my pump packed and I'm leaving all my slings and carriers, a shirt with my scent, and yes, a recording of me singing just in case.

Comments

[julie @ Mommy Said What?]

I'm still waiting for the follow up story. HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?

[Candace]

Does Joanmarie's comment not seem funny to anyone else but me? Sarcasm people.

[Mom again]

Joanmarie? Was that missing some emoticons or something? You can't be serious.

[Jill]

You will be fine, your baby will be fine and your mom will enjoy so much--and that Joanmarie is a jerk!

[Cloud]

My parents regularly give us little breaks- they come and watch the kids, and we go spend a night somewhere about an hour away. They've been doing this since my oldest was about 6 months old, and no one has starved yet. Bridget will be fine- and so will you!

Also, I went back to work when my babies where 3 months old. I agree with the earlier poster who said that a 3 month old won't really know how long you're gone. It is definitely harder on you than her at this age.

And yes, both of my girls were breastfed. In fact, the 15 month old still is! You'll be fine.

[Jodi]

I know my mom would figure it or die trying. I am sure your mom will rock especially if she is baby whisperer that is my MIL too. About recordings my boss said that backfired on him when he left one for his son who turned to hysterics because he couldn't get to the dad on the tv and didn't understand why not. Every kid is dif i know though.

[Jessica@Team Rasler]

I don't know who Joanmarie is, but that is a horrible thing to say to any parent. We all need breaks, and we are especially lucky when our children's grandparents offer to take them. It's a win-win: they get lots of snuggle time with their grandbabies and we get to do something other than constantly care for an infant. No one tells fathers they shouldn't leave their babies for more than a few hours. How ridiculous. I hope someone less sleep-deprived than I am will write a more coherent response to her. Or better yet, that you delete her comment as being thoroughly unhelpful.

[Joanmarie]

Look! You are the mom. You shouldn't be leaving her or any of your other children for more then a couple of hours. Shame on you!!

[Mama Bub]

The good news is that three month olds have the short term memory of a goldfish, so she won't know if you're gone for an hour or a week. Also, she'll take the bottle. She will. And if you're really concerned, send a medicine syringe so your mom can get breast milk into her that way, if absolutely necessary.

[Nic Dempsey]

I had my nephew overnight when he was three months old, he was fine, took to the bottle and two of the feeds were formula! At 3 months, it's the parents who worry not the baby. My SIL was checking up every hour, then I sent he a picture of the boy smiling and she relaxed. Nephew was and is even now better when Mum is gone than when he knows she's going (if that makes sense). Lights up when he sees her again though. Good luck..

[B]

Our third was a nursing fiend. She wouldn't take a bottle, even if I left for the grocery. When she was 7 months, my dad had quintuple bypass surgery. I left at 7am to be with my mom at the hospital, where the baby could not go, believing she would have nothing to eat until I got home. I didn't get home until 9 that night after my dad had a bad time and we thought he might pass. He lived, and so did she. She didn't just live, she sucked down 5 bottles in my absence. The days after she took bottles when I was gone. When we got back home, it was back to boob exclusivity without at hitch.

[Mary O]

I left my third baby overnight when she was about 5-ish months old and still totally breastfeeding. And she had never taken a bottle, either. But she was fine. Great, even! She took bottles of pumped breastmilk from my MIL, but she would not take formula at all. Thankfully I had left enough breastmilk to get her by. And I had a great night away, too! I know it's hard, but try not to worry and have a great time! =)

[Liza]

I had a business trip when Noah was 7 months. The LLL people were all "prime age for a nursing strike!" but we had no such problems. In fact, the moment of my return remains one of my favorite parenting memories.

I took a red-eye back from the west coast, drove straight to day care, sat down in the middle of the baby-room, and nursed him on the spot. After 5 min of giddy excitement, Noah did that sleep-eating thing until I was tapped out, then slept in my lap for 45 minutes. He finally woke up when his baby bff came over to investigate.

[Redneck Mommy]

I had to leave Frac when he was seven months old for an over night wedding that was not child (or infant) friendly. I was gone two days. He refused to take a bottle whenever I tried and I was freaking out because I thought the poor boy would starve in my absence even though I had pumped enough milk to feed him for a month.

That kid suckled at the bottle like a hungry hog. Everything was fine. Except for my boobs. They felt like they were going to explode by the time I got home. Because I FORGOT MY PUMP. I'm smart like that. Oy. Enjoy your trip.

[LSM]

I also went on a week-long business trip when my son (third child) was four months old. He did just fine at home with my husband, and we had no problems returning to nursing when I got back. I also built up a nice supply of pumped milk that I took back with me to up my stores at home. That was pre-liquids restrictions for air travel, though. I'm not sure how security would handle breast milk with no baby in tow now.

[Mom101]

When my kids don't eat, or my babies didn't take bottles, my mother always joked "No Jewish kid ever starved to death." That comforted me well enough.

Any way you can adapt it?

[ptooie]

Hubby & I went to NYC for a concert when our 1st was about 6 months old. I didn't produce much milk anyway (we'd already been supplementing with formula) so grandma just gave her formula all weekend and they did great. Hubby and I got stuck in Boston on the way home (added another day to our trip- we are airline employees too) and while we were freaking, my mom didn't have any problems.

[crystal]

I haven't left my second for more than 5 hours, but she will not take a bottle from me at all. If someone else, even another nursing mom, offers her one and swaddles her so tight she can't move the little stinker drains the whole thing and passes out for 3 hours. It's like she knows that if she refuses a bottle from me she'll get boobs, but that it won't work with anyone else so she might as well eat and take a nap.

[Candace]

I've never left #2 (4 months old) for longer than 3 hours but I will tell you that she REFUSES the bottle from anyone if I am within eye sight or smelling distance. My sitter is fantastic and has NO problem getting her to eat from a bottle. And in past experiences with #1 (now 2), she was way better and easier to handle when her Nana was watching her instead of me. I bet that little B will have a blast getting all of your mom's attention and will take the bottle and sleep wonderfully!

Have fun.

[Modmama]

With my son, I went straight back to work for a week long trip after 12 weeks of leave...made the HUGE mistake of not getting him used to a bottle or anyone feeding him other than me. Needless to say, with a freezer full of milk and my husband getting over the shock of full time baby care, they were fine! Better than that, actually.
Have a great time and what a gift for your mom and baby to get some one-on-one time together.

[Jes]

I'll second the story idea! Slightly different circumstances, since my kids were with me, but my hubby had to stay home. They were too little to talk on the phone of course, so he recorded a couple videos of him reading the stories. We actually posted them on youtube, and I just showed the vids to the kids at bedtime. They thought it was great! We brought the books with us, so they could look through the stories while daddy was reading it to them.

[Sarah]

She'll be fine! Remember your mom will only have one little infant to take care of, which is going to be such a snap compared to what you're used to. Plus, this will be so worth it for your olders. Bridget will drink from the bottle when she's hungry and your mom will get her used to being held 24/7 so you're not allowed to put her down when you get back and it will all just work out because no matter how much I've ever worried about leaving my babies for a couple days, it always just works out. When you call to check in, don't ask for a lot of details, just make sure everyone's still breathing and get back to your vacation!

[AmyH]

Isn't it funny how much we change from first to fourth (or even 2nd, in my case).
I had a business trip for 1 week when my first baby was 9 months old and I actually TOOK HER WITH ME. That sounds so crazy to me now. I was lucky to have a retired father who didn't mind hanging out in a hotel all day with the baby while I worked.
When I had to go on a business trip when my second baby was 9 months old I left him home with my husband. I pumped enough for him to be fed for 5 days while I was gone and he did just fine. In fact, he did way better than I did. He took the bottle from my husband and didn't have any issues with sleep or mood. The best news was that he went right back to nursing when I got home.
It sucked a little to have to pump the whole time I was gone so I could keep my supply up but the baby did really great.

[Amanda]

My oldest son loved anyone who fed, changed, and played with him. I was the basket case. He was fine.

[Rocat]

When our daughter was 7 months old, we left the kids with my parents and went to Jamaica for a week. I pumped for weeks before and left a big supply for them to feed her. She had no problem with the bottle and enjoyed the time with Nanny and Papa. I didn't leave a recording of myself because I never thought of it. What a great idea!
Everyone was just fine and happy.
Deep breath. You will all be fine and your little one will be extra happy to see you when you get back.

[Aaron]

When Christina went to Mom 2.0, she made a video recording of herself reading Mira's favorite bedtime book, for me to play to Mira each night before she went to bed.

Mira was, overall, just fine during the trip, and didn't spend her days moping around about missing Mommy. But the video certainly put a smile on her face each night.

Not a "leaving a breastfed baby" story, but one about kids doing better while Mom was away than anticipated. And about how the recordings can help make a not-bad situation even better.