The hat

About six years ago, I got a hat.

It was the most beautiful hat I had ever seen.

I have no idea where it came from. But there it was.

A gorgeous hat.

I was never really a hat person, but whatever.

I popped it on my head and was immediately disappointed.

God it was so pretty.

But it hurt. A lot.

And it didn't fit well.

And I had absolutely nothing in my closet that worked with it.

So I scrounged through the box to see where it had come from so perhaps I could exchange it for something that fit me a little better.

Maybe I really wasn't a hat person after all.

"No returns or exchanges," the note said.

Figured.

Considering I'd have been stumped by much more in my lifetime, I wasn't going to let a hat confuse me. So, I forced it on my head and went about my business.

After awhile, I saw a bunch of other women wearing the same damn one.

A few looked like me, tugging at it constantly, hiding behind it, even trying to stuff it in their bags, to no avail.

Awkward was an understatement.

Then I ran into a few women who looked amazing.

"So, I have to ask you - Did your hat hurt like hell at first? Because I'm not sure I can wear this for much longer," I told them.

"Yeah, it takes a little getting used to," said one.

"That's an understatement," another giggled.

"Mine hurt like hell for the first year. But now it fits like a glove, " said the third.

A year? Seemed like a long time to mess with a hat.

But they all looked so good in it.

So I did what I could. I put it on all the time. I bought new clothes to match it.

I wore it proudly. Though I'd often get odd stares.

I can't say it always felt right.

But I just got used to it. And it just sort of became a part of me. I even started to feel naked without it.

A couple of years later another one arrived. Then another.

And another.

Even though they're a little different than that first one, they still look pretty much the same.

And now I know how to wear them, or at least, make them work so they don't look like they're wearing me.

Sometimes I even wear more than one.

I don't expect the hat deliveries will ever stop. The new styles, yes, but updated versions of my original ones - they'll keep coming, as I've learned. 

And I'll do my best to rotate them into my wardrobe, trying to figure out how to wear them just like I did with that very first one, hoping it doesn't take me as long to adjust before another one arrives.

I can't say I ever thought much about hats.

But now I really like them.

And I think they fit me quite well.

In fact, I'm not sure I'd recognize myself without one.

Comments

[Josie Crecco]

I wish it weren't so, but wearing a hat these days is almost considered an act of bravery. I think hats are a great compliment to an ensemble or, more importantly, an expression of individuality. It's a tradition I like to keep alive with my kids. I have so much enjoyed reading your blog - laughing to myself because so much of what you say hits true to home. I love the latest piece on the 'Spouse Challenge'. I have too easily fallen into the role of the 'score keeper'. I will use your idea of writing things down and destroying them. I think writing things down really makes you aware of your transgressions, kind of like a diet diary. Anyway, just in case you're interested, I am a mom blogger and have a site just for baby hats. If you would ever be interested it doing a 'Give Away' with us or reviewing our products, our site is Melondipity.com. Thanks and will continue to read your blog.

[Karen (SubMommy)]

I love this. Love love love love it.

I'm wearing a really uncomfortable hat at the moment. The last one went out of style and this new one arrived, and damn it hurts.

[Rusti]

I love this. and my hat. and I think I'd like another at some point... even though hubs thinks I only need one... we'll see, it's not like I want to fill an entire hat-rack... just two... have a little diversity, ya know?

[Felicia]

Wait, your hat deliveries are never going to stop - Duggar-style? ;-P

[jessica]

so i just got it. disregard previous comment. LOL.

[jessica]

pictures or it didn't happen.

[Jaelithe]

Just when I think I have wearing my hat all figured out, I'll wake up one morning and find that in the middle of the night it changed the shape of its brim, or took off a ribbon, or added a feather. Sometimes it develops holes without warning, and I find myself desperately searching for a patch, and wishing that my sewing skills were better. My hat is very good at hiding its scars with a well-placed jewel or button, but I never forget them.

About a year ago my hat was starting to look quite distinguished and polished -- the sort of hat you begin to imagine could almost walk out the house by itself -- and I was all set to finally pair my hat with a business suit. But my hat grew despondent with the change in our routine, and became positively shabby in its distress. So for the time being I've decided to stick with a t-shirt and jeans, which seem to suit my hat much better.

It's amazing what some of us will do for hats we didn't even mean to order in the first place, isn't it?

[Kelly]

You truly have such a great way with words. Thank you for always sharing your hats and their stories with us.

[Pia]

Some days I have to change my outfit about 300 times to keep up with my hats. My favorite outfit is snuggly, warm clothes - they seem to go best with my hats. I hate having to put on my Drill Seargent gear - talk about uncomfortable!! And I feel like several colleges owe me some PhD's for the days I wear my medical or psych wardrobes . . . .

What a great metaphor for mommy-hood. I remember how my first hat haunted me and I wanted to return it so badly. No instructions and serious pain!! Now it fits so well, I cannot and do not ever want to imagine life without it!!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

My hats are always on the floor, sometimes smell really bad and can make me grumpier than hell. But, they also make me look really good and are sometimes super snuggly and warm.

I think I'll keep them. But, I'm glad I cut up my husband's credit card after the third hat arrived. I don't think I have enough closet space for too many more.

[Brenda]

You have such a great way with words. Love this.

[Keyona]

I had one snug hat for almost 7 years. My new 5 month old hat is pretty cool though! I can't remember my life before wearing them....

[Kristy]

Whoa, I must be dense. I had to read comments in order to "get it!"

[Summer]

I was like YTF is she talking about hats.. until the end.. I love it! Your hats are gorgeous.. And I love my hats too..

[Jenny]

Your wit is always refreshing. I hate it when people make wearin' hats look easy. Cause it's not. That's what I love about you. You always make it look hard and oh so very worth it. Just like it is!

[Marketing Mommy]

It's amazing all additional accessories hats require.

[Dani]

Okay, now I want to see pictures of the hat.

[Kristy]

Sometimes my husband jokes about selling our hats on e-bay...our hats are fitted, though, so it would be a little difficult...

[Jaime]

My oldest hat is amazing - this one that is planning on arriving in 6 months...well, it makes me feel horrible right now but I have hope that soon I will start to enjoy that hat-to-be. :)

[Amanda]

I second that, Katie.

Sometimes I wonder if I was cut out for a hat at all, but I'd be so lost without it. Right now, my hat almost completely defines me. I'm okay with that. I'm sure it'll change someday...

[VDog]

Somehow I don't think this is about hats...lol

[Maria]

I was all excited to talk about actual hats. Ha.

This is a gorgeous post though.

(TARGET HAS CUTE ACTUAL HATS RIGHT NOW, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO MENTION THIS.)

[MB]

Love it. So will your kids. Thanks.

[Kathy Mayer]

My hat is shrinking. One in college, three to go. But still so unbelievably naked without that first one.

[Katie]

Sometimes hats make me want to drink.

Just sayin'.