Mama needs some brand new underpants

A few weeks back when my former neighbor was doing my "so you can find my baby" courtesy wax at another neighbor's house, she apologized for not having those paper panties because she didn't want to ruin my own gorgeous expensive panties, to which I laughed because I'm 37 weeks pregnant and hell if I'm wearing anything but gigantic cotton parachutes.

[Yes, my neighbor waxes my bush at a neighbor's house. Welcome to suburbia].

If I were to put a pair of sexy underwear on, I do believe they'd get eaten by my growing backside and dropping belly.

But that doesn't mean I won't ever need some cute undies, so when Atlanta-based mom of four, seamstress extraordinaire, and new author Deborah Moebes asked me if I would host a stop on her blogging book tour, I knew just the perfect thing for her to share with you.

You might think that sewing and Motherhood Uncensored (and the Mominatrix, for that matter) do not go hand in hand, but leave it to Deb's genius to put together an awesome online applique tutorial, or what she has called "The Great Panty Project."

The mustache is the new landing strip.You heard it here first. 

Not to be confused with my own current "The Great BIG Panty Project."

I won't bore you too long with how I actually know Deb, which is through a gorgeous dress for Margot that was gifted to me awhile back and then her husband, a dad blogger who is a Reserves guy, who emailed me asking about my husband (a National Guard guy) and then I told him exactly where I lived (because apparently I got a non-stalker vibe from him) and he said "Oh we were going to move there" and I was like "WTF?" and then I realized that he was married to Deb.

Small world, huh?

And now my daughter takes sewing classes at her Atlanta shop, and she has a fantastic sewing book out, which is sold out almost everywhere, and I'm more than pleased to tell you all about how fabulous it is.  

Yes, apparently it's not sex that sells. It's sewing. Who knew?

So, with all that out of the way, Deb has written an amazing sewing book that includes a ton of awesome projects for crafty mavens and those of you who didn't think people still actually sewed stuff, plus easy to follow tutorials (pictures!) and a bunch of patterns on a handy PDF.

While I do joke about being a domestic zero, as well as someone missing the Martha Stewart gene, I'm actually pretty crafty when I want to be. And with Quinlan enjoying her sewing camp and classes, it's gotten me more motivated to put my foot back on the pedal and take machine for a whirl.

And first up, aside from the blanket I made for the new baby that Margot found and will not sleep without, I'm starting with these adorable and pretty hilarious applique - made especially for you (and me) by Deb.

 

Fig leaf! Get it? 

So, if you're crafty and you want to give these a whirl, head over to Deb's blog for the full tutorial. And even if you don't want to make some cute, sexy underpants (what is wrong with you?), you should head over to her place anyway because she posts all sorts of interesting tidbits. Plus, the tutorial is great for applique on anything, not just underpants.

And if you could give two shits about sewing, then you might want to try to win these. Yep, Deb has graciously offered this set of 4 never been worn (we promise, so help us God or whoever is in charge) hand appliqued set of underwear.

Meanwhile, who ELSE on the internet would give away appliqued underpants, people?

Just leave a comment on this post and tell me what brand of underwear you're wearing right now. Extra points (that will not give you extra entries but will make me laugh) for those of you who aren't wearing any underpants. You have until midnight EST tonight to enter - US residents only please. Only one entry per person.

Comments

[BKC]

Cacique hipsters, baby. There is nothing more comfortable in this world than a big ol' t-shirt and some hipsters.

[Julie M]

Wearing my period panties. Love my Hanes Granny panties when I'm all bloated.

[Angie in Texas]

not wearing any! i'm in bed!! LOL!!

[Rebekah]

Super cute! Right now I'm wearing old navy. Could definitely use some new undies!

[Patti S]

Pink briefs from VS.

[laura]

these all are so cute. i'm torn between the cheery and the fig leaf. i'm wearing VS lacy black boy shorts

[carolyn]

Purple panites from Target.

[Rose]

Target panties! Way better than my cozy big white undies.

[Becky]

Right this second I am not wearing any (in my pj's) but during normal business hours, I wear VS Cotton bikini's but I recently picked up a pair at Gap I like.

[Kate]

I am wearing some ratty yellow striped Fruit of the Looms. ROWR!

[Rebecca]

The mustache made me laugh! I'm wearing Old Navy now but could definitely new some new ones...

[Karen Chatters]

Imagine, I'm wearing huge ass (literally) Target brand underwear. At this point there is absolutely nothing sexy about me...

[robin howell]

Victoria Secret, but they are old and not so cute.

[linda dorris]

Target, does anywhere else sell underwear?

[Mary Beth]

Very stretched out and tired looking Victoria Secret's!

[Kate]

Hanes purple elephant underwear - so rocking the full bottom panties as I'm turning 30 weeks pregnant this week! :)

[Sarah]

I'm wearing Hanes undies. From the girl's section. Cause who can beat 10 pairs of undies for 5 bucks when you're on a budget? (And I'm by no means skinny..so please don't throw fruit at my head!...bonus from being so short? Heh.)

Also, those undies do rock and if I can figure out how to use my sewing machine without sewing myself to it, I one day aspire to make my own rawkin mustache panties. :D

[Mimi O]

I'm wearing some old Old Navy undies. They are stretched, they are faded. Mama needs some new underpants.

[cara]

jockey cotton. lame-o.

[Laura]

I actually had to look at what underpants I'm wearing because I definitely couldn't remember. We've got some old school turquoise Gap underwear with a diagonal plaid design going on.

[Leslie Olson]

i am wearing run of the mill fruit-of-the-loom cheapos from target. who says you can't be sexy on a budget!

LOVE the mustache ones! ;)

[lindsey]

I just had a bush wax and can't stand anything touching "that area" (kind of defeats the purpose *sigh*). no panties for me right now. nor pants.

hope ups doesn't show up unexpectedly.

[Candace]

I am wearing: I just had baby #2 panties probably from target but way too old to recognize a brand. They are big, cottony and equipped with extra sexy, extra large sanitary napkins (because seriously just had a baby 1 week ago)!

[mary jensen]

The panties i am currently wearing are so old and tatty that i can't read the label, or remember the brand. This mama does need some new panties! :)

[Sabrina]

Gilly Hicks, found them at TJ Maxx, and LOVE them! Softest and most comfortable, not to mention cute! I search for them every time I go!

[becky]

that is the underwear, to wash then dig out...haha.

[Mina]

Hanes! And sometimes none, esp. if I'm exercising, ha ha... My VS pre-pregnancy is sadly waiting for me in the drawer... :-(

[becky]

I never, ever wear underwear....that is unless Im wearing a mini skirt. Its just one more thing to wash and then have to dig out of my butt.

[Melinda]

I am wearing so oh so sexy Hanes today and I am not to proud to admit to this.

[Keek]

Very old Target undies. BORING! I just started sewing again...Love it, but I've got a lot to learn!

[abby barnhart]

These are too cute! I just picked up a couple more of my $4-target-last-a-few-months-and-then-you-have-to-buy-more pairs i love so. i think planned obsolescence is a good thing when it comes to undies :) would love these!

[Dawn K.]

4 year old Victoria's Secret underwear. I'm 5 months post-partum, and have had to throw out some of my favorite paris because they don't fit me like they used to...I'm a bit lumpier than I used to be!

[Krystina]

uh... brand? is walmart cheapie a brand? then that's what I'm wearing! LOL. I was wearing a cutesy thong from JCPenney's, but we were going to the park (plus I had them on inside out!) so I had to change really quickly. pushing swings is a HUGE wedgie maker!

[Adventures In Babywearing]

Oh my gosh I LOVE THE MOUSTACHE!

I am loving Gap Body's vintage-looking panties lately, with cute tiny polka dots and stripes. That's what I am wearing!

Steph

[Liz]

Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Things" in a pink and brown leopard print. I'm in my early thirties, divorced with a 5 and 7 year old (since others were posting their stats I thought I should as well). The applique panties are cute, but not really my style.

[Emily]

I'm always wearing Hanes Hipsters. Not very sexy, but super comfortable!

[Felicia]

Hanky Panky... woo! (Expensive, but so comfy, even when hugely pregnant)

[Lisa]

I'm a Jockey girl! No-seam cotton briefs with an oh-so-stylish bamboo leaf pattern.

[Jodi Hansen]

really old victoria secret. My dh would have a field day with the mustache undies. He talked me into shaving it all off a few years ago but now wants a landingstrip for variety. What a tard.

[M&Co.]

I'm wearing my Lane Bryant big girl panties! Cotton, pretty plain, but they match my bra.

[Lori]

Victoria's Secret. No, not sexy ones, just comfy cotton. My hubby hates how 8 years of marriage and 2 kids leads to comfy, not sexy, underwear! Lol! :)

[Clover]

I wear Gap undies now they are really comfy:-) But no applique on them:-( Never thought of it before.

cloverafton@cox.net

[Jenny]

Motherhood maternity no seam one size fits all. And I'm nine months postpartum from my third child. And after you inspiring me to do the shred I don't really need maternity underpants. But I like them and wear them, almost every day. I probably won't buy more or anything once these wear out but in the meantime, I'm getting my full use out of them. Haha. What a question. What an answer.

[mamabird]

Motherhood Maternity low rise. And I'd wear them even if I weren't pregnant.

[Sarah]

Too cute! I'm wearing it.se.bit.se underwear :)

[LIttle D]

I'm wearing something that was on sale at Kohl's and I already too the tags out of - so I really need these!

[april]

I'm wearing a Target thong and a pair of Spanx, because I just had a baby and can't fit my pants without Spanx (lost the weight but not the lumpiness). And I can't wear Spanx without underwear because I only have a couple pair. Oi!

[Crystal]

Plain white Hanes b/c I'm 37.5w pregnant and I'm huge. Comfort is my only concern right now.

[Adrienne S]

I honestly have none on because I just got done working out and I hate how sweaty they get when I work out. So...I am underwearless.

[Emily]

really old Victoria's Secret.

[Rocat]

I would love to say that I'm wearing something fancy like La Perla, but the truth is that the label in these is so worn that I can't really read it anymore. I think they were from Target, but just can't be sure. Maybe that's a sign that these need to be tossed in the trash!

[Jana]

Target cotton thongs. Comfy without being to Granny-ish.

[Stacey]

These are adorable!!! I'm wearing VS Cheekies!

[Tracy]

Ooh my bits would be so happy to have these undies! Currently I'm wearing cheapy ones from Target. I wear scrubs to work and can't see wasting the cute ones under scrubs. Weird? Why yes. Yes I am. :)

[@sweetbabboo]

Those are too fun! I never thought about appliqueing on underwear. Perhaps, I'll start by making some non-branded ones for my little guy.

PS- I'm wearing Target undies. Yep, that's about as fancy as I get anymore.

-Abby

[Melissa Ann]

My underwear drawer is in a sad sad state of affairs. Currently wearing 'barely there' undies - my favorite brand for bras - not so much for underwear... So i used to be teeny tiny, then I gained 60lbs when I was pregnant, then I lost all os it (!) and was even tinier before because I no longer had time to eat, and now I've gained again quite a bit (mid-thirties, this time - not pregnancy). Anyways, with all this up & down - I have NOT a single pair of fitting, comfy, not hideous underwear! This would be fab :) (And better than dragging my sorry ass to VS - store of the devil!)

[Brandi]

Victoria Secret Pink. Nothing fancy while the hubs is on a trip.

[Tessa]

I'm wearing really cheap ones right now. Might as well not be wearing any.

[Brenda C]

Target undies for me they have the best thongs!

[Redneck Mommy]

You must be discriminating against Canadians due to our fabulous beavers not needing any decorative underwear. Ya that's it.

Those undies rock.

Now I'm going to have to drag out the ole sewing machine.

[Amy]

Currently, because I'm wearing a skirt, they're Old Navy. But yesterday I wasn't wearing any.

[MaryKate]

Right now, I'm wearing Victoria Secret underwear, my usual.

[Jenny]

Victoria's Secret cotton bikinis.

[Lauren B]

Victoria's Secret cotton bikinis (nothing glamorous). I think I've had them since before my child was born and I won't tell you how old she is! :)

[Melissa]

Tragic saggy jockey undies

[ClumberKim]

Wacoal, I think. It was dark when I got dressed.

[Kari]

Right now I'm wearing Old Navy. I love these, they are so cute, especially the mustache ones!

[Mir]

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA I love the mustache ones. So much.

Right now my undies are from Aerie. You're welcome

[Charlotte DeMolay]

Well..I'm almost not wearing any but I have a good reason! I'm wearing a Nike running outfit with built-ins.