Sometimes you just have to be one

Even when I was pregnant with my first, I had a gut feeling that planning a wedding for three months post partum was probably not the best idea.

And surprise! It wasn't.

It's those dreaded early weeks and months that no one really talks about, so it's not surprising that many women who aren't moms don't really get that it's pretty damn hard, or in the least, certainly not a time where you want to be putting on a wedding dress or, in my current case, photographed for a magazine spread.

My fears about a post partum wedding were indeed confirmed, and though I lost a significant amount of weight due to a total elimination diet, I still had to buy a new wedding dress. That I could nurse in. At my own wedding.

And I was devastated.

Jump six years later and I know what to expect. The belly and thighs don't just fall off. The swollen face doesn't immediately shrink.

And the boobs (at least my breastfeeding ones) get bigger. A lot bigger.

But that's not the half of it.

The lack of sleep. Gigantic maxi pads. It's all a recipe for "do not take a picture of me, please." I mean, that's why you have the cute baby right? So people photograph it and NOT YOU.

So, when a photo shoot for a magazine article on the Mominatrix was rescheduled for "in a couple of months after you have your baby" I had to laugh, and as I joked with my hairdresser (who I had booked for the shoot), there's just no way they're moms (I know that my interviewer wasn't, at least).

I mean absolutely no offense by it.

But I think most moms (including the Mominatrix) can all agree that post partum is probably the antithesis of sexy. And certainly not a time where you want yourself splashed across the pages of a magazine.

Comments

[Ian @ plantronics usb headset]

Ever mom feels that way... You still beautiful in your
hubby's eyes..nice blog

[Jaelithe]

Man, what are they thinking not getting a photo of you RIGHT NOW? I am totally serious. They could make a statement about pregnant women being sexy. Which would generate controversy ($$$$!) and would totally fit with the theme of your book.

Wimps.

Anyway, if I were you, I would not worry about the sexy in these pictures. First of all the sexiest part of you is your brain, which will surely be made clear in the interview. Second, it's a MAGAZINE. Magazine photographers are hired specifically because they know how to use good lighting, flowing cloth and Photoshop to make any woman look like an unearthly goddess.

I mean, seriously, do you think those six weeks post-partum models and actresses editors are always putting on magazine covers (specifically to make us ordinary mortal women hate ourselves enough to buy the magazine's advice on how to hide our shame with makeup and clothes) REALLY magically bounce back like Nerf, without even a single stretch mark? I don't think so.

[The Muskrat]

I didn't mind pictures within a few hours of our most recent family addition. I don't know what your problem is!

[Caren Story]

and now you know why all the celebrity moms only have pictures of their faces with their new babies on the magazine covers :) I'm sure you'll do great!

[Asianmommy]

You will look beautiful!

[caramama]

Definitely not moms! Ha!

Ever read The Diary of a Mad Mom-to-Be? At one point prior to having the baby, she reschedules her hair appointment to be like 6 weeks after having the baby. I had already had one baby when I read that part, and I just laughed and laughed! I'm sure people who aren't moms didn't realize that was a funny part, but it is.

I'm sure you'll look gorgeous and have that after-baby glow... to match the bags under the eyes and haggard face of a mom-of-a-newborn. But really? You always look gorgeous.