Be a Better Parent Challenge

I realize that this might not exactly be the best time to take on a month long challenge, but shit, if I waited for a "good time" for anything in my life, I'd probably still be single with no kids, lounging around in my underpants right now.

Wait a second...

Alright so, anyway, I've decided to give myself daily challenges to help reconnect me with my better parent. I'm under the impression that I'm actually already pretty good, but it's life, interruptions, and all the other crap that get in the way of my fulfilling my potential.

They learned me good in therapist school didn't they?

All that means is that I don't know if it's anything I actually need to learn, but rather things I already know that I need to put into practice.

Feel free to join me. Or laugh at me. Or ignore me. I'm guessing it won't be the prettiest thing, nor will it be easy, but I'm hoping that we'll all benefit.

Challenge #1: Being present for my kids

So often, I find myself ignoring what they're saying because I'm already onto something else that needs to be done. I'll say "Yes, that's great now go [insert chore that I've told them to do 300 times already]" and I have absolutely no clue what they said.

Or, I admit it, I'm just not listening. I'm tuning out. Escaping. Even though my body is quite obviously there.

Today, I'm going to listen to what they're trying to tell me first, and then speak. And I'm going to try to not be thinking about something else while they're talking. That doesn't mean I won't be doing other things. I can't spend every waking minute with them. But when they ask me something, or address me, or tell me a reallllllly long ass story, I will be there, in the moment. And I will listen. Not just hear.

I'll let you know how that went tomorrow. And I'll be back with another challenge!

Challenge #2

Challenge #3

Challenge #4

Challenge #5-8

Challenge #9

Challenge #10

Challenge #11

Challenge #12

Comments

[Mensagens Para Orkut]

Regarding this "reading parenting books" business I must say that i have done a lot & oftentimes I find myself falling short of the book or trying to live life according to perfect models of some kid psychologist or other's mind. For me the most helpful thing when mothering is speaking with other mothers...Knowing that I am not alone & hearing practical advice.

So, yes, to books, but always with a grain of salt & personal point of view...cause heck...every infant is so different - each one deserves a book of their own...

[Ellis]

Thank you very much for this easy to follow guide, it was very usefull.
http://filecraft.com

[jordan sneakers]

I'm going to attempt to follow along with you on this.

[melonbelly]

love, love, love the idea. I'll be starting a little late, but I'll be joining you and writing about my progress - thats what I am going to optimistically call it!

[Jordan 1]

How can ability forget not happy thing?i am very confused.

[Di]

The Husband and I have been struggling with this for a while. As a result, neither of us is happy with our ability to parent, or our relationship to each other.

Count me in, heck, you can probably count him in too.

[Heather]

Wonderful idea! So intrigued. I'm totally in and now following you!

[KiwiLog]

Hi! We loved your post over at KiwiLog and decided to feature it as part of our weekly mom blog roundup. Thanks!

[Suzie]

I could use this re-focus for my almost-14-year old. the child can talk. and prattle on. and it isn't too-too hard to tune her out. but she's almost 14 ... how long do I really have left to listen to her (rambling) stories?

[holly]

I am in!

[Missy]

Yeah, there's a lot of talking in my house (and only one of my kids can talk). It never stops. He talks in his sleep. And then there's my husband, also chatty. It's noisy here.

I love this challenge. Count me in.

[Jen Barron]

I am in. I was just "complaining" to a girlfriend about how much my 2 year old boy and 3 year old girl talk and talk and talk! Thanks for the reminder to be a more patience parent.

[Michelle B]

I will also be joining in. Looks like I'll be a day behind bc its 9pm here and I just read this. :)
Have you thought about doing a linky? I'd love to read what everyone else is doing.

[Katie]

I guess soon enough they probably won't want to talk to you at all. There will be aspects of their lives, thoughts they have that they won't want to share with you. Might as well listen now, I suppose.

[Amanda]

I'll play along too. Those long ass stories are going to be hard to sit through. My kids don't shut up from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed at night.

[Shannon]

I'm going to attempt to follow along with you on this. (I suck at sticking to things like this.) But my whole blog is supposed to be about being a better parent, so I'm in. My daughter talks INCESSANTLY. She's going to help me make my tutu now, so I'm committed to listening to her and being present.

[Ferg_e]

This is fantastic. I'll play along!

[Issa]

I wish you luck friend. I'd do it but mine are with my mom until the 14th. I'll have to wait till then.

[Julie]

Hmmm...sounds like a good way to get my little guy ready for kindergarten. I'm in...

[Michelle McGee]

Count me in. I've got two longwinded boys who never seem to stop. That along with my own mind chatter makes for a very exhausting day. Time to slow down. Thanks for the reminder. Www.moxiemomma.com

[mythoughtsonthat]

Man, those long ass stories! I try to take a deep breath and remind myself that, in the blink of an eye, my boy will be out in the world and it will be really quiet here. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to be present NOW. Right now. Peace.

[inannasstar]

I love applying this specifically to parenthood, but as a whole, this practice is very calming and grounding. Being present is the ONLY way to live life to the fullest and feel the most peace. Great post, I will certainly carry this with me today.

[Cecilia]

I'm going to join your challenge for today - let's see how it goes!

[Debi (Truthful Mommy)]

This is an amazing idea!!! I so agree with every single thing that you said here and I know we are all guilty of doing this. I am going to follow along and take the challenge with you.If its ok with you, I would also love to be able to share this with my readers. This topic is something I touch on quite frequently and this is so proactive. Great idea!!!!Today: I will be present!!!
Debi
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com/