There's a sucker born every minute. This one's name is Daddy.

Other than a few minor issues with bedtime rituals and late night visits, we've got a pretty soundly sleeping household, which means when some little person's sleep schedule goes awry, all hell breaks loose.

Believe me, it wasn't always this way. I've certainly suffered through months, even years of terrible sleepers. But oddly enough, when things are bad, you tend to get used to them. And when things are good, even the minor 10:30pm screaming like she's being attacked by a rabid bat interruptions seem like the complete end of the world.

I don't have any issues with CIO and have implemented it with much success when developmentally appropriate.

(How do you like my professional sounding disclaimer, eh?).

And really, I've learned that you can sort of tell when the CIO is actually going to work or if it's just a means to a very bad, still wide awake and now hating you end, which is what has been happening for the last few nights. 

A few nights ago, Margot woke up right as I was headed to bed, doing her aforementioned batshitcrazy screams that wouldn't stop, most likely due to the belated 18 month sleep regression and her two-year-old molars or one of those things that they try to make you feel better by. Just google "teething 22 month old sleep regression?" and you'll find someone, somewhere who says "Yep, it's a sleep regression and good luck but one day they'll wake up talking in sentences with the uncanny ability to chew beef jerky and it will all be worth it."

Yeah, fuck that.

But needless to say, her cries could not be quelled. Not with a rock and a pat. Or a few idle threats. Or with me pretending that she had stopped while I took a quick shower and a pee.

And so, I resolved to bringing her mattress into my room, at which point she walked right in, plopped right down, and slept soundly until the morning. 

Whatever. I got rest. The end.

So then Daddy came home and she proceeded to do the same exact thing at which point he went in, probably did the same rock, pat, idle, threat combination that didn't work for me. But instead, he brought her into our room.

And into our bed. On top of his body. 

The balls.

He might as well just start handing out candy for dinner around here because hell if I'm going to compete with that bullshit. And then, when I gave him a hearty, but delirious chastising, he put her down next to me, which while a littttle better than her on him was not exactly the resolution I was seeking.

By that point, his effort to effectively place her onto her own mattress on our floor like I had so successfully done the night before was moot.

And really, I can't blame her.

The kid just got a bowl full of candy, dude. She doesn't want your macaroni and cheese no matter how much Velveeta you piled on there.

Comments

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[Motherhood Uncensored]

Mads Mom - check for ear plugs. My husband actually does wear them to bed, though he can still hear through them. Or so he thinks (heh).

[Mads Mom]

I am so with you! My husband is the rule maker/enforcer in our house and yet he NEVER hears my 2 year old's middle of the night screams. Jerk.

Good luck!

[julie @ Mommy Said What?]

Oh, Kristen. Poor you. My daughter, ONE TIME, slept in our bed when she was a baby. She's 2 1/2 now, and I swear to G-d she's spent every single night since trying to get back in there.

Good luck.

[KAM]

It's definitely something in the air. We had the same problem with our tot last night who is typically a really great sleeper. He is 16 months. Maybe he is hitting his sleep regression early? I was all for using CIO but his cries became more and more agitated and I thought he was going to make himself sick. So both the husband and I took a turn at rocking him to sleep. The husband was the successful one (grrrr....) but at least we all got some sleep after that.

[Asianmommy]

Wow--I could never sleep with the kids in my bed. All night long, I'd get swatted in the face and kicked in the side. No, thank you!

[Issa]

We are currently playing a very weird version of musical beds around here. I literally have to look for each of my children each morning.

I'd like to blame H's inability to sleep in his own dam bed (or through the night for that matter), the tantrums and the shoving of random people on two year old molars. Sadly though...I think it's just him being nearly 22 months.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Yes, Melissa. I'm laughing through my tears :)

[Shelley]

AMEN! I try to explain this to my husband who has a 10 year old daughter. He says I will understand when I have kids of my own. I think I already understand...no kids in the bed!

[Melissa Beth]

It's funny to me that this post came right after the one titled "This Mama sleeps alone."

[carolyn]

Take comfort in the fact that eventually they will all sleep in their own beds all night long. Mine do, and although it seemed to take forever to get to this point, it is lovely.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@Alyssa, @Kelly - YES. Especially when said husband gets to leave the next day...

It's sweet - don't get me wrong - but with three kids and another IN my belly, I'll take the sweet moments when they're supposed to be AWAKE! Preferably not at 2am...

[Elizabeth]

If my husband ever did that I would pass out from shock. HE was the one opposed to the kid sleeping in his own room and yet he wakes up angry when said kid wakes up (and wakes him up) at night.

This next baby sure as hell ain't sleeping in our room. I already told him that she's sleeping in the living room if she has to but I'm not going through that again unless he wants to be the one that gets up.

[Annie T]

Aww, am I the only one who thought what he did was sweet? When my husband does that, it makes me melt to see him comforting our son like that... but then again, this is our first child so everything probably would make me melt?

[Kelly @ Student of the Year]

I'm laughing at Alyssa's comment. Sleep is such a tough thing. When you're bloody exhausted, you tend to do what's easiest and what will allow for the most rest for everyone. But then you have to turn around and generally undo all of it if you ever want to sleep in your own bed with only your husband next to you for the next decade. It's brutally unfair.

[Alyssa @ St. Louis Smart Mama]

It's always nice when husbands solve situations with the kids by doing things that make life easier for them but invariably harder for us (insert eye roll here) :-)

[Kristi]

I know exactly what you mean - you NEVER want to give them a taste of what is possible! Now she has a goal in mind while crying in the middle of the night. :)

[Rusti]

ugh. E hit the 18-month mark last week... we've got the sleep regression. and the 2-year-molars teething issue. and she just transitioned from the infant room to the toddler room (i.e. - one nap instead of two)... and yeah. I feel your pain. AND as hubs works nights (and has been pulling so much OT we've barely seen him in almost 2 weeks) I'm on my own with these issues... (want to know how many times I've slept through my alarm in the last two weeks? yikes.) I've bounced back & forth between letting her cry for 10 minutes to tire her out before laying down in her toddler bed with her, to dragging her to bed with me at 2am (or 3am, or midnight, or WHENEVER it is that she wakes up screaming) or taking her to bed with me - then taking her back down to her room after she wakes up (because yeah, apparently with sleep regression also comes needing a bottle in the middle of the night!) and oh, I'm so tired. and when hubs IS home - he can't handle CIO for even 3 minutes... so he lays down with her, or brings her up to me, but he doesn't get that changing it will set us back... ugh. (that's when I want to say "go back to work, you're messing up the routine!" but I don't...)

anyway - the point of my rambling comment was that I'm with ya. I feel your pain. I sympathize. and I pray this shit ends soon! (for all of us!!) :)

[Christy S.]

I hate, hate, HATE it when my husband does that. Invariably the baby sees/senses me and then dogpiles on top of ME, then mauls me like a miniature wolverine for the rest of the night. I've laid down the law - if he wants to cuddle and co-sleep, wonderful - now go do it in the guest room so I can get some sleep.

[Maria]

Ha. My husband does that too, especially if we're traveling. So far it isn't changed the Moose's bedtime routine but it makes me crazy because he's a big guy and sleeps approximately as deeply as a CORPSE. So I get freaked out he'll smoosh him.

[Anu]

Nothing wrong with that. That's how my daughter goes to sleep every single night, she loves it and so do we. After all, she will be a baby only for this short period of her life and ours...