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July 28, 2010

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Most of the women in the group couldn't believe how "careless" I could have been and how "undisciplined" my son must be to have such a "lack of respect of rules." Um... age 2.5?

Great post! My 3-year-old doesn't do any of that stuff and I often wonder if he SHOULD be doing it... am I too strict? Is he afraid of me? Is he afraid of being a kid? I think we all question our parenting. No matter how many kids we have.

When I was about 5 my mom painted the kitchen cabinets. If you've painted cabinets you know what a huge, labor-intensive job this is. I, the budding artiste, took a screwdriver and chiseled my name in every single one of those not-quite-dry cabinet doors. My mom has a picture of me standing there with a paint-streaked screwdriver and a huge smile. I'll always wonder how she had the presence of mind to grab a camera instead of a hammer to beat me with.

You should find a way to channel his energy. My husband used to light the curtains on fire when he was 6 or 7, so my mother in law sent him for cooking lessons. Granted, Drew is still a little young, but if you put your mind to it...

Oh, and about the "better parent" thing - I do it, too. (Duh) Especially when it comes to my daughter's sleep issues. Hang in there.

I think those of us who have had a career working with children are even harder on ourselves. We somehow think a degree in child development or whatever means our kids aren't going to do the things that EVERY KID DOES.

Hang in there!

I just went through the same thing. Becca, 2 y/o, thinks she is quite the artist. The other night as I was falling asleep, she scribbled all over her brother's recently painted walls with every crayon in the box. Thankfully the box only had 8 crayons.

Man, my little brother set a tree on fire when he was just a little older than your son. Set a tree. ON FIRE. With lighter fluid. While my mother was in the shower.

It's not your fault. Little boys are destructive creatures. It's a good thing they are so cute.

Glad people are emphasizing the developmentally-appropriateness of this thing.

When my son was around 2.5, he did the same thing, and I laughed about it at playgroup (probably as evidence of why I was so tired since it took so long to clean up - haha!) I expected nods of support, but instead I was met with serious expressions.

Most of the women in the group couldn't believe how "careless" I could have been and how "undisciplined" my son must be to have such a "lack of respect of rules." Um... age 2.5?

But then one woman in the group was angry at me for a totally different reason: she told me I was squelching his creativity. She informed me her daughter could write on whatever she chose, because we should all treasure our children's artwork, regardless of the media.

So - no matter what, I was wrong and my son was wrong.

But you are fine and Drew is fine, and everyone is just fine. :-)

You should check out the website "Shit My Kids Ruined" http://shitmykidsruined.tumblr.com/ . It will put it all into perspective. As a 12 year parenting veteran with several Sharpie and Desitin incidents under my belt (2 year old ruined our sofa with a blue marker), this will make you feel so, so much better.

incidents like that make me lose my shit. I know it's irrational. I know I'm over-reacting. But when your whole life revolves around cleaning up other people's messes, every mess becomes a catastrophe. Which is why I'm boycotting cleaning. And now, we live in a pig sty. And I yell at my kids a bit less often.

When my son was three, he and his friend were playing in our enclosed porch when we suddenly heard a window smashing. Asked what they were doing to smash entire window out of it's frame. Seeing who could throw hotwheels cars at it the hardest. He is going to turn four in a few days and his behavior has improved by leaps and bounds in less than a year. So that should give you some extra hope! :)

It's hard not to wonder what we have done to cause the things our children choose to do, to remember that sometimes kids are just kids no matter how good (or bad) our parenting.

As a side note, when I was about Drew's age I wrote a tiny little scribble on the wall in my bedroom. My mother punished me by making me not only throw all my crayons away but also making me break them IN HALF one-by-one as I did. Don't do that. I'm still a bit traumatized by it. Heh.

Tomorrows are the best. I love them.

Hugs Kristen.

I'm struggling with this very thing right now.

I can't fix 1983 today. And yet it's so hard not to try.

Hormones @MARA? I ain't got NO STINKING HORMONES!

(heh).

When I was around five or six years old, my best friend and I got oily face paint all over my parents' recently installed wall-to-wall carpeting...for which they had spent ten years saving. It was the only time I remember seeing my mom cry. But with a lot of scrubbing, it did come out. And I never face painted outside the bathroom again.

There's also the pregnancy hormones at play here. They make everything seem so EPIC sometimes! I remember getting into a huge fight with my husband over some leftover meatloaf, when I was about as pregnant as you are right now. Seriously. Meatloaf.

When I was about his age, I wrote with crayon all over my closet doors. When my mother discovered this mess, I told her that Mick and John did it. They were my imaginary friends. She told me that I didn't supervise them very well, so I had to clean it up. The only part I remember is the clean-up. I still have this vague memory of standing with a pail of water and a rag cleaning those closet doors. I never did that again. And Mick and John didn't do it, either. We all played nice with our crayons henceforth. I think that this might be a phase for kids. There might also be some lessons here for the parent. 1) Not your fault. 2) Maybe the kid should clean up his own mess. Hang in there. I know you will figure this out:-)

Or perhaps leaving the red crayon for your husband to clean when he gets back, since he likes cleaning!

Hang in there. And see you next week!

I CONSTANTLY find myself berating my parenting based on my son's behavior and my own childhood. This is the first time I've read or heard about someone else doing it.

Thanks for the pep talk, I especially needed it today.

Let me guess, he wrote "PLEASE HELP ME" on the wall?

damn kids.
I'll admit, I'm still failing miserably in checking my words. I'm getting better about not letting the accidents drive me crazy, but the 6 y/o going on 18 attitude? Thousands spent in therapy...

My little brother and his friend sat on his bed and threw colored blocks at the wall over and over b/c it left colors on the wall when they hit. They also left indentions in the wall. He also carved a hole thru the wall from his bedroom to my bedroom so he could talk to me without leaving his room. He's 24 now and in the Air Force leaving for Germany this September.

This too shall pass...

My brother used a PERMANENT marker on the entire side of our garage and then signed his name like an artist would. When my parents (not so calmly) asked him what he was thinking, he answer, "Mandy did it!"
My dad had to paint the entire garage and then destroyed every permanent marker in the house.

"That's why they make carpet cleaner and magic erasers.

And tomorrows."

Well put. I have days where my kids do something, like coloring on a wall and I feel the same way. Ridiculous, yes, but I do feel that way at the time.


I need to remember that quote next time mine do something and I respond in a not so positive way. Whether out loud to them or to myself.

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