My morning as an SAT problem or ACT, if you were a weirdo

Kristen is crazy a mom of three children and one on the way. She lives in a house with a dog, and a husband who is currently away enjoying a quiet hotel room all to himself *insert few choice words here* on business.

8pm - Child #3 who always goes to sleep without fussing decides to fuss.

9pm - Child #3 who is fussing finally falls asleep.

2am - Child #3 who usually sleeps through the night wakes up screaming.

2:12am - Child #3 who was screaming was rocked and returns to sleep.

2:17am - PSYCH - still awake. And screaming.

2:25am - Child #3 who was screaming is now sleeping on her crib mattress on my floor. 

3:10am - Child #3 who was sleeping on my floor is now awoken by Child #2 who is scared but is promptly returned to his room without screaming.

4:25am - PSYCH - still scared.

5:00am - Child #4 (who is still in my womb) decides it's time to take up Irish step dancing.

6:00am - The sleeping child on my floor is no longer sleeping.

6:15am - The scared child is no longer scared. Or sleeping.

7:00am - All three children are awake, not scared, but screaming - for breakfast and shows and snacks.

7:10am - I come downstairs to my three children eating cheese curls.

7:15am - I am screaming. My three children are scared. 

So who in the house was never not sleeping, screaming, or scared at one time between 8pm and 7:15am?

First person to get it right (email me your answer to motherhooduncensored[at]yahoo[dot]com) gets the most fabulous bag of junk Motherhood Uncensored grab bag of weirdness. 

Congrats Julie. It was indeed the dog. Though grammar police kudos go to Kim on catching my bad grammar which I totally did on purpose. Ahem.

Comments

[Jessica Lytle]

Wow! I just can't imagine the nightly "dance" with more then my 2. Although it's my husband who put a stop to me making more so guess i'm crazy enough to have done it. Still, sounds an awful lot like my house except the dog wakes up and hovers over the fussing baby and screaming toddler, it's my husband who could sleep through a nuclear attack.

[Adrienne S]

It was DAD!

[Kim Gliganic]

I mean...not never!

[Kim Gliganic]

child #3....never not is a double negative!

[Kate]

I'm totally going with a ghost here. Because it's always fun to blame ghosts. (Hope last night was better. Or at least quieter.)

[Issa]

Quinlan. The one who has learned the ways of the world. Or the one who at nearly six knows that if she wakes you up all night for no reason, she's likely to get coal for her birthday present?

[Carrie]

OMG what a funny post!! I laughed so hard reading it...but at the same time I feel your pain!!

[Michelle]

Definetly the dog.

[Pia]

I only have 2 kids, but it sounds like my night last night. Child #1 woke up crying at 10:30 and cried, "I hate everyone, I want to go home" for 45 minutes. Even after I had him walk to my room. Even though he's 7.5, it was like the night terrors he had at 3 all over again. He continued to cry and thrash in my bed for a while. At 2 a.m., child #2 woke up crying and insisted I go away, and when I went away, he insisted I come back. And when I started to rub his back, he insisted I stop. And when I stopped, he insisted I rub his back. Ugh. The 3 of us ended up in my king sized bed. I had the least amount of space. I'm a single mom, so at least there wasn't 4 of us in there. But I have an east facing windows in my bedroom and coupled with the cool summer night, the birds calls and sun coming through the open windows this morning at 5:30 woke us right up. What a great (f-ing) night.

So we're running late (no matter how early we get up and I try to get everything ready for daycare and camp) and as soon as it's time to get into the car, child #2 pees his pants. I'm so sorry my chidren and neighbors had to hear my expletive filled rant directed at no one.

Oh what a beautiful morning . . . .

At least Quinlan had a good night sleep the other night. Hope your night last night was better.

[Dawn]

Child #1. Quinn you will be an extra blessing to your mom when Child #4 arrives. Look on the bright side, at least someone got a good nights sleep. ;)

[Bree]

Trick question. Nobody.

You poor woman. :(

[sarah]

#1

[Meg]

It's totally Quinlan. At least one of them slept properly!

[april forshee]

It's the dog.

[J from Ireland]

Your eldest daughter?? You poor Mammy!!

[caramama]

I'm going with the dog!

Husband was not "in the house." All kids were awake and screaming for breakfast, and then scared when you were screaming. You were definitely awake and screaming at the end at minimum. Although, the dog might have had some scary dreams...

That was a fun word problem! And by fun, I mean terrifying. And by terrifying, I mean all to familiar (except with two kids a dog and a cat, all of whom will keep me up for some reason or another some nights).

[Luann]

the dog

[Becky]

Must be Quinlan(#1). But how could anyone sleep through that! So sorry.

[Sabrae]

I'm thinking that if you are the one coming down the stairs screaming that it couldn't have been you...So it's either the husband (because he's stupidly away) or the family pet cowering in the corner somewhere?

[CrazyLovesCo]

And what about child #1?

[Chamred]

You!

[IzzyMom]

I'm guessing your husband. It's ALWAYS the husband.

[Cheryl]

could it be "the one on the way"????

what a night you had!!!

[Julie]

Um, the dog?