Anatomy of a Date Night

I'm well aware of the benefits that regular date nights can have on a relationship and, in theory, I support them wholeheartedly.

I also think a daily shot of wheat grass and regular colon cleanses are a great idea too.

They're also all pricey pains in the asses.

Since my husband lives in a uniform, and well so do I, except one that is not as sexy nor generally presentable in any sort of public forum, we usually end up scrambling to find something to wear.

This weekend, that meant hauling the family to the mall on a Saturday afternoon so my husband could scour the sales racks and gawk at the price of clothes - "It's Bloomingdales, dear!" - until he found four shirts and a extremely versatile pair of linen pants (WTF?) and I could make the mistake of trying regular clothes on at Banana Republic where the mirrors make you look like the size of jungle animals.

Coincidence? I think not.

So then it was racing home to meet the babysitter and orient her to our screwy nighttime routine, which only makes us sound like anal-retentive nut balls.

"Just make sure her pillow is on the left side of the bed and not the right side and the rain machine won't stay on so make sure to put the piggy bank on top of it so that it keeps the button down and you have to leave the bathroom light on but not the hall light..."

You get the idea.

Then it's showering, tossing on clothes that you hope don't have pregnant belly stains or kid snot, and putting on five-minutes worth of make-up so that you don't look like you could actually just get into bed right now and forgo the entire evening.

And then it's waiting for your husband who decided TO WASH THE CAR IN THE 15 MINUTES THAT YOU HAD BEFORE YOU NEEDED TO LEAVE to shower again.

And waiting.

And hiding outside in the 400 degree heat so your kid doesn't scream when you walk about the door.

And running in and out of the house four times after that to get your phone and to tell the sitter that "eh I'm not going to take the phone so call my husband" and then "okay, I think it's better that I take my phone" and "oh shit my phone isn't charged so I'll just leave it here."

And then sticking your head and arm pits into the car air conditioner so your extremely complicated make-up routine and four-second shower do not go to complete waste.

Of course, you're now late for your reservation, BUT AT LEAST YOUR CAR IS WASHED, and completely famished because you don't eat dinner at 8:30pm anymore, and you're about to tackle the bread man who accidentally crosses your path while you're waiting for your table.

But the fabulous meal, the $3.25 Cranberry and Club Soda (also known as "robbery of a poor, sober pregnant woman"), the quiet conversation, and the arguments in the car all the way home are all worth it.

And by worth I mean the $200 we shelled out for three hours alone.

Date night. One pricey bastard I tell you.

And completely worth every penny.

Comments

[Melissa Beth]

Have you seen the movie "Date Night?" Pretty funny when the babysitter knocks on the door and Steve and Tina both have to fight to resist the urge to call the whole thing off. Funny post.

[St. Louis Smart Mama]

Love the honesty. You can call it a date all you want (and yes I think it's still important), but it ain't what it used to be . . .

[Robin]

I found you via Kimber. This post (and several others you wrote) had me chuckling. Parenting and working and living just are not easy. It does not seem like there are enough hours in the day to do it all. Good for you for taking some time for that date. It is hard but married couples should probably do it MORE. As you said, it is worth it!!!

[Forgotten]

Try being single with 3 kids under 4 years old. I haven't had a single date since my ex & I split. It's been over a year now. You have to actually get out of the house to meet someone, don't you? Even online dating services require that you leave the house at some point without your 3 kids. Oh, and a babysitter for 3 y.o. twin boys and a clingy 16 m.o. girl, I'm lucky if I can get their grandma to come over long enough for me to go to the grocery store. Forget trying to go out on a date. Of course, going on a date would involve meeting someone who actually wanted to date someone with 3 small kids. Guys look at me like they're afraid to point their ummm...stuff in my general direction for fear of accidentally knocking me up. LOL. Good times. Good times. Where's my happy pill, anyways?

[ClumberKim]

I can't tell which one kills me more...the linen pants or the washed car. A hot date night is when I get a polo instead of a computer geek tshirt.

And a really hot date night? One that does not require handing over three digits to the sitter.

[Angie in Texas]

we have like 500 reliable baby sitters (to whom we OVERPAY) so we can have a date night on a regular basis . . . the kids don't need college funds if they don't live to see 18. we need our "adult time". =)

[Motherhood Uncensored]

Whitney -- That made me chuckle. And yes, completely worth it.

$15 for ONE KID, Greg? I know we're lucky down here in the South but still!

[Susan]

We only have 2 who are now 12 and 9 and we can leave them home alone wen we go out-yipeeeee! But we had some of the same experience. How about when we drove an hour toSF to go for a dinner at a fancy golf club and sitter calls to say the newly erected Christmas tree crashed to the ground just after we left? We shelled out a lot to our sitters so that they were always available!

[Greg]

F-me. I know how this feels. We spend $15/hr for our sitter. Why? Because that is what you charge parents without another alternative and who's daughter is only comfortable with the one option outside of grandparents who live 3 hours away.

Do the math on 5-6 hours. And that is before the car wash. Still cheaper than divorce.

[Angela]

Date night? What is this date night of which you speak? I have vague recollections of going out with my husband. Now our nights out together consist of piling everyone into the car, heading out to the drive-in, and praying the girls fall asleep before the movie starts. And sadly that practice ended when M woke up during the final joker scene of that Batman movie. All date night money is now being funneled into her therapy fund.

[RookieMom Whitney]

Love it. The moments of telling a new sitter all the ridiculous rules for sleep really do make you feel like an anal-rententive nutball.

Ryan's bday was karaoke and out until 11.30 pm, so add the cost of sushi dinner, 5.5 hours of (Bay Area) babysitting and $75 for a private karaoke room. Seeing my husband gleefully belt out Living on A Prayer? PRICELESS.

[Vicky]

Oh my can I relate. It was $120 for just the sitter for my birthday a few months ago. I still think it is worth it and I'm blessed we can afford that once in a while. My sitter just tweeted that we need another date night before baby #3 arrives. I think she wants a new purse or something.

[Issa]

He washed the car? Hahahahahaha. I'm not actually surprised. It's just dam funny.

[Amanda]

You're right. I found a cheaper alternative. Offer to pay the $30 portion of your poor college age nephew's cell bill (he's on our family plan to save money - his parents are still overseas) in exchange for babysitting. Even if he only babysits one night a month we've still gotten the better deal.

[inannasstar]

This is so INSANELY TRUE that I just nodded my head and smiled through your entire post!

[Karen Chatters]

I love date night. If only we could afford it.

Did you actually find something at BR that fit your pregnant self? I'm happy if I find something there that fits my non-pregnant self.

[Jennifer T.]

I feel your pain. My husband likes to find things to fix, i.e. destroy right before we need to leave.

But the YMCA is the way to go for date night. 3 bucks pays for pizza, childcare is included in membership fees. Once a month we get to have alone time.
Priceless!

[julie @ Mommy Said What?]

Sorry, Kristen. My heart's going out to Kevin on this one.

But the washed car. Man, he kills me.

[Kelly]

It is pricey but worth it... we try and make it a once every two months thing...

[Kevin]

Yeah, right.
Ours are 3 and 18mo and I don't see another date in my future with Wife. We spend so much time trying to get the other one to watch the kids so we can go out and grocery shop alone. Or run to the Box store to get needed supplies in bulk so we don't need to go again anytime soon. When we are home, if the kids see us talking to each other they erupt into disasters just to kill the conversation.
Yeah... two kids, what were we thinking.