This will be my fifth BlogHer conference, all of which I've attended with child - either attached to my boob for some or most of it, or in my belly, like this time.
It's no wonder people think I'm pregnant all the time. And really, they're not that far off.
There will be no shortage of fantastic posts in the next few weeks, some of which have already been floating around, that will give new attendees and even the old pros tips on how to survive BlogHer.
I pretty much covered all the goods in last year's post, but here are my five additional thoughts on how to enjoy BlogHer 2010 - with special props to those of us who will be doing it pregnant and sober.
Again.
1. Just because someone writes it on their blog doesn't make it a good conversation starter
Bloggers are actual people, folks, so if you want to go up and say "hello," a simple "Hi, I'm [insert name - also Twitter handle - that helps!)] and I really enjoy reading your blog" is great. Even small talk like "I love your outfit, where did you get those shoes, who designed your header" is fine.
But avoid bringing up deeply personal material - like a bad car accident, recent divorce, or daughter's traumatic incident with a dog - as a way to introduce yourself. "So, I can't believe your husband left you!" isn't the best way to start things off.
Bottom line: Social skills are highly underrated.
2. Be smart about swag
As many of you may have heard or remember, last year the BlogHer swag situation was out of control.
And sure, I get it. Free stuff is awesome. I love me some 400 jump drives.
But remember that you have to figure out a way to get all that free stuff home. If you want to pack an extra suitcase and pay to check it, or fork over the cost to have the hotel ship boxes home, go for it. But keep in mind that most of the stuff that you're shipping isn't worth the amount you're paying to ship or check it.
More importantly, it's definitely not worth having to maul babies and tackle women.
Bottom line: Don't be a swag-hag.
3. Pace yourself, party goers
This year I decided not to RSVP for anything, save one or two very small parties, and I'm still overwhelmed with the number of events going on over the entire weekend. The truth is if you're with friends, you'll have fun wherever you end up, because hello, it's NYC baby!But better, you won't end up sleeping through half of the next day and taking another few days to recover when you get home.
The best times I had last year weren't actually at parties but rather when I just planted myself outside of one to take a breather. I ended up meeting and actually chatting with more people that way than I did at anything else.
I realize that people are hot for BlogHer parties, but unless you keep up a 3-4 party and however many drink a night pace at home, you might be in for a rude awakening (literally) the next day.
Bottom line: Even Lindsay Lohan has a limit. Know yours before you end up like this (heh).
4. You probably won't see everyone that you want to see and that kinda sucks
I'm fortunate in that I'm either lugging a baby in a baby carrier or a belly carrier, so most people who are looking for me can follow the baby yelps or swollen ankles and find me. But that seems to make it extra challenging for me to find other people. And honestly, I think missing the chance to shake the hands or squeeze the boobs of some of your favorite people can be the most disappointing part of the BlogHer experience.
If you know in advance that you probably might not see everyone, or at least, get a chance to talk with them for more than a few minutes, then it helps. Or, make a list and figure out a way to meet up with them - whether it's saying "hi" after they present at a session, tweeting at them to find out where they are (which is different from tweet-nagging or worse stalking them - ahem), or making small talk while you're washing your hands after a bathroom break.
The operative word being "after." Pee chat can be a little awkward.
Bottom line: You might not meet everyone on your list. And that's okay.
5. There are heroes among us
If you find yourself getting caught up in the awesome but sometimes overwhelming madness that can be BlogHer - the sessions, the parties, your entire blogroll and twitter follow feed right in the same room, remember how amazing it is to have this opportunity to meet up with some of the greatest women (and inspiring little boys) around.
Whether I'm able to tell them personally or not, some of my own heroes will be there - some of whom might be yours as well. Some are already good friends. Others are folks I admire from afar.
Either way, getting to be with them - whether it's sharing a hotel room, a non-alcoholic beverage, or a cab to and from the airport, heck even just being in the same room with them - is what makes the weekend a success for me. Figure out what it means to you and then remind yourself of that.
Bottom line: Whether BlogHer '10 is awesome or not is solely in your own hands
Check last year's tips on how to survive BlogHer, as well as my BlogHer 2007 and Blogher 2008 awards. Ah the memories!
Nice post! GA is also my biggest earning. However, it�s not a much.:)
Posted by: Footwear deals | June 19, 2011 at 10:50 PM
Great tips. I was totally overwhelmed last year with all the events, and ended up vowing to take some time to just relax this year. I RSVPd for a few, but have since taken myself off the list.. You're Welcome to whoever gets my spots :) This year, my latest night out is at 10pm... and I make sure i get to say goodnight to my girls via WebCam before they go to sleep...
Hope I get a chance to finally meet you this year!
Posted by: MommyBrain | August 03, 2010 at 04:26 PM
Great list becuase it's all so true. Now I'm what they call 'socially awkward' so I end up hiding most of the time but I've found that during thee times that I'm hiding away from the action are the times when I meet the best people. Also your point in #1 is spot on: like @TheMomSlant said "If you can't say "You're so beautiful!" then just STFU."
Posted by: katie | July 21, 2010 at 10:12 AM
I am SOOOOOO jealous. Not going. Too darned far. Can we have one of these in Sydney one day soon?
:-)
BB
PS I giggled the whole way through this post. Classic.
Posted by: Bush Babe | July 21, 2010 at 09:06 AM
Wonderful list! I will be there pregnant and sober as well! This is my first BlogHer and while there are many people I would love to meet, I am certain that I won't recognize anyone! So, it will be like christmas when I do actually meet someone I know :-)Thanks for the post!
Posted by: Andrea (Lil-Kid-Things) | July 21, 2010 at 08:56 AM
I love number five the most. Can't wait to see you in two.
Posted by: Laura Mayes | July 20, 2010 at 09:10 PM
Excellent tips!Hope to say hi to you while we're there!
Posted by: Jen L. | July 20, 2010 at 08:27 PM
I have one to go with number 1 as well. No matter how much you relate to what another blogger has written, your story is not "just like hers." And a cocktail party isn't the time or place to try and convince her of that.
In 2007, I had the uncomfortable experience of someone coming up on a casual conversation I was having with a blogger who had lost her son. We weren't talking about her son or her loss - I think we were probably talking about boobs. Most likely, at least. This other woman broke into her very sad story about losing her son, many years ago, when he was in his late 20's. Which, honestly, was very different than this blogger's loss.
It was possibly this woman's way of trying to tell the blogger that she cared about her and her loss, but what came across was, "I know exactly how you feel because I lost my son too." Well, actually, that's what she said, and it just didn't work that way.
After the other woman walked away, I told the blogger I was talking with that I thought she handled herself beautifully in a very awkward situation. Her reply? "Oh, people do that to me all the time."
Ouch.
Posted by: marty | July 20, 2010 at 08:21 PM
I was going to say the 400 jump drive reference was the funniest ever, but then I saw the awesome Coach Bag spam in comments. Sorry, you come in a close second now Kristen.
Posted by: mom101 | July 20, 2010 at 10:29 AM
Great tips, as always. Half the time the parties themselves are too loud to actually talk to anyone, so the lobby outside the party is often the best spot to meet and chat with others. And anyone that wants to offer a quiet place to rest, get a snack and talk with others will quickly win a spot in my heart.
My only other tip to add to your tips is if you're there representing a brand, many of us are happy to hear your pitch, but be brief. Remember that this is one of the few chances many of us get each year to spend time with our long distance friends, and catching up with people is as important (or more important) than pitches. I love me some free stuff, too, but it's about the people first.
Looking forward to seeing you soon!
Posted by: Christina | July 20, 2010 at 08:25 AM
@Julie: OMFG. No WAY! lol. People are funny and starstruck and um, like K said: Social skills are underrated. And also, I guess I gotta go get me some Spanx.
I like to just cut loose and drift sometimes at those kinds of things. I had fun that way last year, too. Wandering around and bumping into people. I had the best conversations that way.
Great list, K. CAN'T WAIT!
Posted by: The New Girl | July 20, 2010 at 06:33 AM
Take a moment to let the goodness of life touch your spirit and calm your thoughts. Then,share your good fortune with another. By coach purses
Posted by: coach purses | July 20, 2010 at 02:52 AM
Next year, I will make it to my first BLOGHER and I can't wait to meet all of my heroes! My only worry is that I will get diarrhea of the mouth and start saying wildly inappropriate things. Seems that since I am so accustomed to being surrounded by preschoolers and toddlers that when I am , in fact, in a room with adults..the filter between my mouth and brain ceases to function!happy Mothering! Have a blast at BlogHer!
Debi
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com
Posted by: Debi (Truthful Mommy) | July 20, 2010 at 01:59 AM
I agree that just saying "Hi--I'm X & I enjoy your blog" is the way to go. Almost everyone I talked to was very friendly.
Posted by: Asianmommy | July 19, 2010 at 10:58 PM
The only thing I would add is, "Don't be afraid to hide in your room with a bottle of Jack if you get overwhelmed." Well, that works for me, anyway.
Great list. I think I've seen you more this year than I've seen my mom, which shows how high on the list you are to me, sweetie. Way high. Like Jesus, only with better footwear.
Posted by: Glennia | July 19, 2010 at 06:20 PM
Thanks, K. Always good to have reminders. I'm looking forward most to the chats I get to have just hanging out with cool folks like yourself. Now, the question is: When I meet you, would you prefer I squeeze your boobs, your adorable baby bump, or your swollen ankles? These are important concerns I have, you know. :)
Posted by: Lara | July 19, 2010 at 04:38 PM
It all sounds pretty fabulous. I hope one day I can go! Love the format of this post!
Posted by: Kristy | July 19, 2010 at 03:30 PM
I swear to you, I will hunt you down. And? If it gets to say Saturday morning and I haven't found you, I'll DM you.
Was me being a huge chicken shit scaredy cat. (In my defense though, it was on the Keynote day.)
Posted by: Issa | July 19, 2010 at 01:45 PM
Issa - I was SOOOO upset that I didn't see you. Seriously, my biggest "wah" moment from last year.
You better come find me - or I'll waddle my way over to you.
Posted by: Motherhood Uncensored | July 19, 2010 at 01:35 PM
Oh great, now I'm regretting everything I've written in the past six months. I can just picture the awkward questions people will ask. ;0)
Okay truth time...I saw you last year across a room and was overwhelmed in the moment (I was possibly overwhelmed the entire time) and didn't go say hi. I got all weirded out for some reason, like you might not remember me or something. Issa, who? Yes, I'm insane. Anyway. I promise not to make that mistake this time. Watch now I won't see you. ha.
Posted by: Issa | July 19, 2010 at 12:59 PM
To this day I get all totally freak out nervous about BlogHer. Which is bizarre and no one will hate me and I will actually know people. And yet...what if you all hate me?!
See you in NY, friend!
Posted by: Heather B. | July 19, 2010 at 12:54 PM
A rule for me is to not attempt to relieve the past. I must try not to be the old fart in the room by always lamenting how "big" BlogHer has gotten given that I've gone to all of them - including that very intimate 2005 gathering. Each BlogHer has been "different" in its own way, and of course, each has been wonderful in its own way, too. So - although I think it would be awesome to just hang with familiarity, I definitely want to welcome the newbies - and appreciate them for who they are, not just because they are fresh and shiny.
Posted by: Karianna | July 19, 2010 at 12:22 PM
Very good list. I find a lot of bloggers, myself included, are a little socially shy. I find big crowds overwhelming and I can end up spending a lot of time scanning the room or staring at the program. So, I'd just add #6: If you feel awkward - you're not alone. If nothing else, finding another loner and commiserate on the challenges of big events - that's an easy conversation starter. :)
Posted by: Esther Crawford | July 19, 2010 at 12:10 PM
Total agree. Good list!
Posted by: Rita Arens | July 19, 2010 at 11:19 AM
A corollary to #1: Don't comment on how someone's in person appearance differs from their online appearance or how you envisioned them.
At BlogHer08, some asshole said to my friend, "Wow, I didn't know you were fat!" True story.
Bottom line: If you can't say, "You're so beautiful!" then just STFU.
Posted by: Julie @ The Mom Slant | July 19, 2010 at 10:45 AM
Great tips. Hope to catch you while I'm there!
Posted by: Linda | July 19, 2010 at 10:06 AM
I violated #1 the first time I met someone I knew exclusively online in real life (it wasn't at BlogHer though). She wrote a whole post about how odd it was that someone she'd just met asked about her health issues. It made her uncomfortable until she realized I was just genuinely concerned.
In short, I agree with your admonition against such introductions.
Posted by: muskrat | July 19, 2010 at 09:24 AM