Don't blink or you'll miss the awesome

There are days where time outs and taken toys are the sum of my entire existence.

Count to 3. Set the timer. Repeat 310 times.

And when that's all you're dishing out, it can be hard to see otherwise.

But it's my job as parent, #1 cheerleader, and molder of the future of America (hello cliche') to do so.

Sure, the one time out of 20 that they remember to ask for juice using the word "please" might not seem like the big deal. Or the 4.2 minutes they play happily with their siblings without fighting.

But it's catching those moments that can make all the difference in their day.

And yours.

But if you're not really looking, or listening, you'll completely miss them.

And really, the same goes for you too.

You can spend half your day beating yourself up for the numerous times you yelled instead of counted to ten. Or 200. You can bog yourself down by the seemingly neverending to-do list that somehow gets foiled by pee accidents or World War 3 sibling arguments over a tiny plastic toy that no one could have given a shit about 2 days ago.

Or you can celebrate the little victories, your own little victories, that would otherwise go unnoticed.

Sometimes it's just that you got out of bed or it's that instead of tuning your kids out, you actually listened.

Other times, it's that you didn't completely and royally fuck up.

These moments won't win you or your kids any parent or child of the year awards. These aren't lifesaving rescues or gold medal achievements that will get you the key to your city or a some sort of "super hero" moniker.

They're probably not even completely obvious to anyone but you.

But by noticing them in your kids and yourself, by acknowledging their presence, no matter how ridiculously small they might seem, you have the power to change your minute, your hour, or even your day.

And sometimes that's really all we need.

Comments

[Melanie]

Good for you. Sometimes it's much easier to see the hidden awesome in our kids than it is in ourselves. At one point yesterday I was sure I had grown fangs and was spitting fire due to the nature of my impatience and "had-it-up-to-here-ness". It's a nice reminder that we as mothers have shining moments too, even if they aren't called attention to as often.

[Spilledmilk3.wordpress.com]

Hi!

I absolutely agree. Sometimes, I find the most awesome moments in the smallest things: when my son clears his dishes from the table, when my other son remembers to put his dirty clothes in the hamper or when my daughter says, "You look like a princess."

I'm new to blogging, but I love your blog. In fact, I started a similar blog to talk about "real parenting" from tell-it-like-it-is moms.

I subscribe to Parenting magazine and read Dr. Sears, but I wanted a forum for moms who spank, yell and sometimes just lose it, to connect.

So thank you for the inspiration!

[caramama]

Such a great point.

I also try to keep in mind something another blogger (hedra of Hands Full of Rocks) has said a few times. That a "B" is 80%, not 100%. And a B is a good grade. So if (g)we aim for a B in parenting, that doesn't just mean that we are going great 80% of the time. It also means that doing not-so-great 20% of the time is okay too. And if we really think about it, most of us are probably screwing up only 20% of the time over the lifetime of a child. Right?

[Michelle]

Thanks again for the reminder. Sometimes we just need to slow down in our heads - which isn't always easy. I have just begun a 'gratitude journal' to jot down things I am grateful for whether they are big or small. Just a physical reminder that I can go back to and remind myself that it isn't all hard.

and @ Leigh Anne - I am so taking hold of your saying for myself

[Diapers and Wine]

I love this post. I feel less alone. Thank you.

[Leigh Ann]

This is my new favorite saying: "Whatever you bring your attention to will flourish." So I keep bringing my attention to the good stuff, even when I know the other stuff is in between.

[Jenny]

Your reminders always TOTALLY hit home for me. Thanks. Oh, and thanks for the recommendation of 1-2-3 Magic. It's not Magic, but it IS working, and I needed a new plan to give me some sanity. First the shred and now this, it's like you are changing my life one small victory at a time! :) So thank you! :)

[Melanie]

Loving this post :)

Exactly why I do 'happiness' posts, where I take the time at the end of a rough day to appreciate what went right in the day, the beauty of a moment, the moments my son remembered to say please or said "YUMMY!" when served dinner, and when I handled some meltdown well. They help to re-frame my day, shift the focus from "ohmygawdswhatanAWFULday" set on repeat, to "Hey, it wasn't all bad."

[Mads Mom]

Amazing isn't it: how necessary these little reminders are? My daughter doesn't have a large vocabulary for a 2 year old yet I know "uh, mommy" means thank you. And it does make up for the "No Mommy!s"

[Debi (Truthful Mommy)]

This is so true and really its the secret to surviving Motherhood.I have found myself lately, by some freak of nature, having the patience to step back, really assess the situation and then react...rather than in the moment have a total melt down and end up doing something totally insane like roar ( pretty damn close). It truly makes a difference and even my girls have noticed. It's a lot harder than it sounds but if you can just train your brain ( or have some fluke of nature like me) to not react immediately, its much better all around. Thank God for the little victories!Happy Mothering!
http://motherhoodthetruth.blogspot.com

[Mama Bub]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! The time I spent reading with the three year old before bedtime isn't cancelled out by the time I spent sighing and frustrated and thinking about throwing every last train in the trash earlier in the day if he looked at me and said, "NOPE," one more time.

[Beth]

I often think of when my kids were little...they're all but grown now. My youngest is 15, oldest is 28. and I remember the time when I yelled my fool head off, (in the days before the beautiful Prozac)...and I cringe when I think about them. :/ but it seems my kids don't even remember those days...they remember building tents in the living room with an ironing board and kitchen chairs....sitting on the porch during thunderstorms...catching lightening bugs in jars....sleeping in my bed when they were sick and stayed home from school.

amnesia is a wonderful thing

[Kristy]

Love this post! It is so true. And, it's funny, when things seem to go bad - tantrum, screaming, crying, time out, frustration - as soon as it turns around and the maniac calms down, it is like magic! He is nicer. All is calm. We are happy and back to enjoying ourselves. Like a roller coaster ride!

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

You are so totally right - not only about the importance of recognizing the awesome, but about how awesome it will make us feel to do so.

[TLR]

Sniff sniff...I really needed this right now as I'm taking a time out from my kids. Thanks for being so honest and for reminding us to see the sun amidst the storms.
Hope you have some great moments today!

[Amelia Sprout]

I needed this. It has been a rough few days. Thanks, Kristen.

[Secret Mom Thoughts]

I great reminder that I needed today. thanks.

[Niru]

Hi, I've been a regular reader of your blog and I love it. I'm not a mother yet, but can relate to your posts at various levels. Today's post was another one of those and just what I needed when I really felt down and out. Thanks a million and keep them coming
:-)