« The power of two | Main | Middle aged »

May 03, 2010

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451c83069e2013480509dd0970c

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference It's about what's to come.:

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

おそらく 考え、ユーザー t シャツ と同様、 セーター プラス 素晴らしい 基本的なカップル パンツ。 当然のことながら、その内部 あることを起こる ときスタンプ の手段によって シャネル 創造的なロゴ。 あなた かも 呼出す この シャネル オフィス を持つ コード 検証。 ココがファッションをもたらします だろう、 快適さ、カジュアル感と レベル。

Hello there! This blog post couldn't be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept preaching about this. I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he'll have a great read. Thank you for sharing!

It's remarkable to pay a quick visit this web page and reading the views of all friends on the topic of this post, while I am also keen of getting knowledge.

That's the kind of image that i really thing is super image like. If more images very real like this were out there we'd be super full of graet images in the world.

I found this thread because I did the EXACT same thing last night and feel terrible about it. I have read a lot about security objects being sacred sources of security... but I could not think of anything else he'd hate to give up that would really drive home the point that getting up 15 times after you've been put to bed is unacceptable. He got up once after I took the blankie away, even! After the very last time, during which I screamed at him, he stayed in bed. And after about 1/2 hour I gave "Fiddlekins" back to him. And he said, "Thank you, mommmy. Thanks for giving him back." It made me feel terrible, like I'd broken him or something. But then again, it worked. This is a hard job. There's always someone around to tell you you're doing it wrong. You're not.

I don't see the problem with this if it's a parent doing it, and it certainly is a lot better than using a more severe means of punishment.
How would you feel if your caregiver, which happens to be the child's grandmother did it? This happened to my 3 year old today and I am absolutely seething about it

My daughter's "baby" got a time out the other night, and it worked wonders. I'm a firm believer in taking things away. They have to learn and I've found it to be a very effective method.

I'm so behind on my reading - just got a chance to read this post and I am with you!! Our former good sleeper is giving us all kinds of hell. He's out of bed 2-3 times every night within the first hour after we put him there. Eventually he goes to sleep and stays put all night, but getting to that point is not fun. He makes up crazy excuses on the fly to explain why he's out of bed. Half the time we have to bite our cheeks to keep from laughing. But enough already!

We have yet to find a punishment that fits the crime. If you achieve success, please write about it and share your secret! Until then, I'll think of you when I send my kiddo back to bed for the umpteenth time.

Boy do they test us. It's reassuring to know I am not alone in these trials but of course, if you stay consistent then they turn into amazing angels. They learn what we teach them and nothing else. My friends and family still dont believe that my son will stay in his bed quietly talking to himself even if its for HOURS before he falls asleep (or even if he doesnt sleep for his nap, he'll just lie there quietly)...I can believe it: I EARNED it with all the hours of training I put him through. I am most concerned about Di's comment that teenagers are still a bear. I am holding onto this fantasy that someday my life will get easier and the children will just be angels all the time...sigh

YOU ARE MY HERO - I have spent most of today feeling like crap because I'm not even sure I LIKE my soon-to-be-three-year-old right now. It seems like lately I'm not even making the threats because I'm scared I won't be able to follow thru...now I've got the kid I used to talk $hit about...
THANK YOU for this, you've inspired me to go back to the mother I was trying to be, with the discipline philosophies that WILL make her a better person.

Just to reassure you...it doesn't get better. This week my fight with my kids (ages 14 and 16) is about getting up at a reasonable hour which is NOT five minutes before their ride to school comes at which point they are really annoyed with the driver for being on time and one of them is trying to print out homework they did the night before and of course the printer isn't cooperating.

So I sat them down and said, up and moving by 6:30. No last minute things to have me read or sign in the morning. First thing to go if you mess up? Cell phone.

This morning...my son (14) does not get up, misses his ride, thus punishing ME because that means I have to get up and drive him to school. Took the phone away and then found that he had taken the SIM card out. Grrrr....

But the other day, he brought the morning paper in to me. And we have a REALLY long driveway, so it really is a gesture. So he still has those moments of connection where I want to put him in my pocket. But the rest of the time, it's pretty much, "What's for dinner?" and "Can you drive me to..."

So not cruel. This is life. You were generous by giving him a warning. Life doesn't give you warnings. You choose the action, you also choose the consequences.

Unfortunately, in our house, the 3.5 year old boy's currency isn't a blankie or a lovie. It's FOOD.

That "I want a snack even though I just ate a giant meal 10 minutes ago" thing? Yeah. Are you spying on me?

I fear the future and our grocery bill.

I'd like to add my voice to the crowd. I have 3 children and I totally agree with your approach, I don't see it as cruel at all.

I think it's your JOB to set limits. Warnings were given then limits pushed. It's his JOB to push till he hits the limit.

*I too have issues with the BOY CHILD, he knows he has me wrapped. HA!

Cruel? Following through? No. It's called parenting. Teaching real consequences.

Sucks in the moment for you and for him, but it's still better in the long run. I've done it too. With a blankie in fact. Oh and it hurt my heart so much in the moment. But it worked too. Shrug. No one ever said this parenting gig was easy and if they did? They were lying through their Valium prescription.

Plus, hai 'me@ 10:35pm'...he slept just fine without it. Bet next time Kristen has to use that as a consequence, Drew will remember it and stay in bed.

Cruel? To take away an object after multiple warnings? Seriously?

I'll take that as a strong hint to not blog about how discipline goes down at our house.

Oh puh-leez. Cruel? It's not like she denied her infant nursing or made her kid sleep on a hardwood floor without a blanket. Plus she gave him plenty of warning ahead of time, so he made his own decision. Yes, even at 3.5, I think kids are capable of understanding their consequences.

Last night, my son repeatedly did what I asked him to stop doing at the dinner table. He sat on the step and then when his behavior got worse, I calmly brought him upstairs, put him in his pj's and put him to bed. At 6:50. He was PISSED (he's 5 1/2), but asleep by 7pm. He slept until 7:30am this morning and is a great mood this morning. I am so glad I stuck to my guns b/c what he really needed was a mom who knew he needed to go to sleep, not one who caved in to his immediate demands.

Follow through has got to be suckiest thing about parenting. I agree with Beth - THINK before you threat because you must follow through.

As for bedtime battles...we've been living in that war zone for years too (and Amy, I've served up Benadryl too!). Problem is, I can relate, I had such a hard time falling asleep as a kid.

We're having a better time w/ bedtime these days with my 9.5 yr old - we started giving him Melatonin 20 mins before bedtime and he's finally able to fall asleep & get the rest he needs. I was worried he was too young, but his doctor has a patient as young as 4 yr old using it.

Frankly, I think it's easier (though obviously still difficult) to take away a comfort object as punishment than to take it away because it's a thumb-sucking enabler (with my oldest) or to leave it behind in a hotel room, never to be seen again (with my middle one). The no-fault take-aways are a bitch to explain.

We do what we gotta do.

I found nighttime parenting to be the hardest. You're so tired, and hence tend to do whatever gets them back to sleep the fastest. It's tricky at 2am.

But, awesome follow-through. It's the only way they know you mean business.

Sorry, that "cruel" comment made me laugh. Cruel is a mother who doesn't care enough about her children to discipline them. Cruel is abuse--physical and verbal. Cruel is meanness for the sake of being mean.

Taking away a blankie after several warnings to help teach your child that misbehavior carries consequences is anything but cruel. "Me", something tells me you don't have children. I also don't think anything in the post said she was proud either.

I suppose it is cruel to follow through on threats like that. You're such a mean mom! Oh wait, you did something that worked to get your son to sleep (and consequently let his sister and everyone else sleep) AND set limits so that he knows you mean what you say. I would say that's about as cruel as forcing him to eat his veggies before he's excused from the table, or pick up his toys before he can watch TV. Sure, it makes things difficult right at that moment, but in the long run it sets a clear path to setting clear expectations.

And yeah, it sucks.

Sometimes you have to do things in the "now" that will ensure the "later" is okay, too. I am constantly afraid that I am setting ourselves up for bigger battles down the road, especially when it comes to sleep.

I'm sure no permanent harm was done!

Are you seriously proud of this? Cruel. I realize you had to follow through on the threat, but you really put yourself in that position by threatening to take the blankie away.

You know I think you're a brave, brave woman for doing that. I still don't think I can. I know I couldn't take sheep away forever. He's so attached I just don't think I could deal with the aftermath.

However, we do follow through on consequences. I've told my husband, though, to breathe deeply and THINK before he sets one. The one time he didn't do that and went nuts . . . I insisted he take a sick day from work to oversee the consequence because I didn't have time to deal with his foolishness (he took away, all day of TV, outside time, games (electronic and non), puzzles, art supplies, and books). I ask you what the heck was I supposed to do with the kid after that?

OH! I just had to do this with my almost 3 year old's "bear-bear". We are also having battle after battle for weeks from my previous-to-room-sharing good sleeper, and Big sis is being kept awake as well. Ugh. The problem? The same has happened for the next 3 nights and the crying lasts for so long that Big sis said last night, "Mom, can you just lock the door so I don't have to listen to the screaming". Now I feel guilty on even more levels! :(

I never thought about taking away the blankies (my demon-possessed four-year-old son has two, because I had to have a spare for washing.)

Thank you for the wonderful idea!

Goddamn do I hate follow through. Good for you.

Yes. We stick to our guns for following through on threats. If we say it is going to happen, it is going to happen. Which really really sucks when we are having a great time outside and I have to drag a three year old boy inside to sit in time out. I HATE IT. I DON'T WANT TO. But I think that is part of parenting. The sucky part.

I won the Mother of the Year Award (given to me by me of course) when I finally lost it with my 2 year old not sleeping and gave him Benadryl and drove him around the block in the car until he fell asleep. Numerous times. In my nightgown.

Oh, I hate it when I have to stick to my guns like that. I mean, obviously I know that I have to follow through in the name of consistency and discipline and all of that. But man, sometimes it sucks. We are also big 123 Magic fans in this house. I recommend it to everyone I know.

You had to do it. And hopefully you won't have to next time because you did this time.

It can sometimes be hard to keep our word but so important to their security. Now he knows that your word is your bond, even when it is hard to follow through. It will pay off when he is 15. I feel for your commentator Michelle whose son is 15. That is the age all boys decide that they don't need a mom and do not listen to anything she says. They are so disrespectful it is hard to believe it is the same boy you cuddled just a few years before. It does pass and they return to the loving son you remember by 17. Hang in there Michelle.

You're exactly right.

When he's a well-adjusted teenager, all of the stuff that was so hard for you now will be TOTALLY worth it.

I speak from experience. :)

I did the same thing with my daughter. It was a last resort- the ONLY thing that affected her. And one day, she commited the same rule-breaking...and my hand was forced to take blankie away forever.

I hated that day. But- it worked. The behavior stopped when she saw the follow-through.

Parenting can suck so badly.

Dude.
Yesterday, my kid hit me in the head with a RACQUET. There was NO magic for my 1,2,3.

Awful.

Oh, how I can relate!! The phrase, "This will hurt me more than it will hurt you," is more true than I could ever imagined before I became a parent.

I had to take away my kiddo's favorite comfort item not that long ago. http://bit.ly/cGyX2h

So true. So true.

I am currently struggling with my boy over school (he's nearly 15) and like your boy I could put him in my pocket most the time. But, the stress of school when his life motto is 'If I don't see the point, I'm not doing it".....

The comments to this entry are closed.