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February 11, 2010

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This is beautiful, just beautiful. I just stumbled it. I have that problem, too.

2 things:

1. Engaging in social media when you're a blogger by profession is work. Sorry.

2. Don't beat yourself up. I have the same struggle daily. But you know what? All those 'little distractions,' like dishes, laundry, meals, etc. don't go away. They have to get done. I'm sure you play with your kids a lot more when you're house guests somewhere else, or when you're on vacation. The hard truth is that real life cannot be ignored. Just be grateful they've got each other to play with. And make the time you DO spend with them quality time.

Kristen, I found you when i was in the throes of PPD with my first, now 3, and I though I have never commented before I have to tell you what comfort (and often wonderful laughter) you have brought me these past years. Thank you Kristen, in a lot of ways your life stories have saved mine.

I work from home and struggle with the same thing you and many others who have commented do. I sit in the living room with face in the computer and the kids clamor for my attention. I feel like a terrible mother many days and like I am missing out on all thier little years and stories and smiles.

Does anyone have suggestions, how in the world can one person do all the cooking cleaning etc (the house stuff) and work an almost full time job, and do all the kids stuff, both the necessary feeding and bathing and changing etc. and the play and fun times? I am overwhelmed. I miss my kids and I am in the same house with them all day.

This is a great post.
The New Yorker had a great October cover where all of the kids were trick or treating illuminated by the lights from the houses and all of the parents were in the background looking at their iphones with their faces illuminated by their phones.
As my self imposed maternity leave begins, soon, I'm feeling like I can breath a bit easier.

I have heard said many a time that we have few precious, striking, unforgettable moments in life where we feel in that moment that life is great, wonderful, amazing and "worth it". I try to remember that those moments for me are nearly always moments with my kids (whether alone with them or with them and other family or friends).
I remember last Summer when I had the kids outside. I was on my blackberry looking at work emails and Maria kept begging to push her little brother down the alley in our plastic car. I kept delaying until finally I turned off my email. We put Mario in the seat and strapped him in and she took off like a wild horse. I still remember Maria's huge radiant smile and Mario's raucous laughter as we rode down the alley, and the feeling that life could not get any better.
Thanks for the post!

I hate to fly. I hate to fly during weather delays. I hate to fly during weather delays that keep me away from my family. But I do love the thinking time and the re-prioritizing it sometimes brings. Thanks for sharing this.

Oh yes, this resonates. I had the opportunity to hear Kevin Carroll speak on "Play" last week at Blissdom and it made me want to get home to my kids right away and fix things, and so I am trying.

Steph

Nodding. I think we need to give ourselves boundaries and certain things that we can count on, routines. Then, just like when bedtimes plans run afoul, we need to forgive. Lovely post.

I agree with alot of the comments here. I know I've been a stay at home mom and a full time working mom. It didn't matter what I was doing or how often I was home, I always felt/feel like I am just not giving enough to my kids. I try to leave work at work & just spend time with my babes every evening until they go to bed. THEN I start the laundry, dishes, ect. Its so hard to find the balance.

BTW, I've been lurking for a while. I'm right here in Atl. too! LOVE your blog. I swear you are reading my mind when I read some of your posts!

It snows in Atlanta? Learn something new every day. Glad you finally got home.

I think it's a constant struggle, the working/playing/having a bit of peace. Not sure that I have it worked out either. I have spent much more quality time with my kids lately, but it's easier to focus on them more now, since I only have them half the time...which I don't recommend. I just think if you make time for yours and try to avoid the computer during that time, then you're moving in the right direction. For what it's worth though? All kids need time to play alone too.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder, doesn't it?

I think all mothers (and I hope fathers) struggle with this, don't be too hard on yourself. As you said, it is easier to engage with them when there aren't 50 million other things to get done. But those things need to get done and your job is to be their mother not their 24/7 entertainer. Doing things for you keeps you healthy which makes it easier to take care of them. Cherish the time you do have with them instead of worrying over whether it's enough time. Now, off to try to follow my own advice...

I agree with you on this post and with Tiffany. I mean we are all saying the same thing. I waffle between working more and then giving up some work to be present more with the kids on a frequent basis.

This 'new frontier' is a hard balance but at least we see what we need to be doing.

Great post.

i feel like i could have written this. i struggle with this same worry almost daily.

I find that I have to reevaluate this exact thing every few months. I pull away from the "work" and immerse myself in my children and home....but inevitably the lure of the laptop starts again. It's almost cyclic with me....I have to stay very aware of my time or I just get totally sucked in to the Internets.

I had this same epiphany while I was away for Blissdom and then in LA. I really, really missed my kids. And my husband, for that matter. I realized some of the same things that you have written about here. Let's both get down on the floor and play.

Enjoy your snow day.

Howdy :) I haven't introduced myself before but I love your blog... I just nominated you for an award on mine. Happy almost weekend!!

PS... the lemming post was awesome!! :)

www.derekandstefani.blogspot.com

I hear you on this, Kristen. I've had to cut back a lot on Internet stuff I deemed to be "work" since my outside-of-the-office time with them is so short.

I keep the "fun" stuff to my lunch breaks and when they're in bed (Like now).

Sorry you had the delay. I know that every time I go away, that day of travel home is nearly unbearable because I want to be home SO BADLY. My heart hurts for you. xoxo

I think all mothers struggle with this, finding the balance. I hope it is a sign of a good mom b/c I worry about this all the time. Maybe voicing our doubts is the hardest part; admitting that we worry, that we wonder? Best wishes that you find a fast flight home!

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