I've come to realize that 3rd kids are lemmings.
I suppose you could say the same thing about 2nd kids too.
Lucky for me, Quinlan's only major offense was doing a Jackson Pollack on my in-laws' guest room wall and carpet.
And between you and me, I really can't fault her that much for it.
Karma. Sweet inky karma.
Since then, she's taught her brother how to properly use the words "amazing" and "understandable" correctly in a sentence, empty the dishwasher silverware tray (probably so she doesn't have to do it), and share with her - particularly his candy stash and other covetable possessions.
In fact, she's got him so whipped that he insists on bringing home a pink balloon for her every time we go to Trader Joe's while she's in school.
Clearly she is using her oldest child power for good.
Or her good.
But little Miss Margot has become a lemming of the very worst kind, thanks to her mischievous older brother.
I mean, Quinlan never really thought to pick up crayon or pen, let alone draw on the walls and cabinets with it at 15 months. And she sure as hell wasn't lobbing large toys around that should not be thrown lest you want some sort of rogue vasectomy.
Then there's the screaming matches and food fights, always at the most convenient times - like when you're just about to shove that first, precious bite of warm food in your mouth.
There are a few benefits. I mean, I have one of the cleanest bathroom floors around, thanks to the bi-nightly bathtub water battles.
And I'm pretty sure Margot could take on anyone even double her weight in a wrestling match, though I'm guessing pinching and back slaps are illegal moves.
But really, it's like I'm dealing with clones, little naughty clones whose mission is to take me down - the Gulliver to their Liliputians.
But through all this, she remains oddly silent, except for the well-timed "uh-oh" as in "uh-oh dude get the hell out of here while you can BRO SAVE YOURSELF I'M THE CUTE SMALL ONE THAT DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND TIME OUTS AND CAN'T TALK BACK YET."
Hmmm, well, now that I think of it, she's sounds less like a lemming and more like a freaking genius.