WOHM-ish

I've been a work-at-home-mom since I left my job as a university professor back in 2005.

Okay, so really I was a stay-at-home-mom because I'd hardly qualify writing this blog as working.

But then I started Cool Mom Picks. And got a partner.

And I began writing more than just scholarly journal articles, though I'd like to think that my Mominatrix column is somewhat scholarly.

Ahem.

And all of a sudden I was doing a bit more than I could with kids running around, or in the couple hours that they were napping and the few hours at night before I'd collapse on my bed with a remote and a bunch of rich housewives bitching at each other.

It's been a challenge managing my work with my job as primary parent most of the time. And it's been even harder balancing all that within the confines of a relationship. Part of the difficulty was due to the fact that much of what I did and still do developed over time.

It was never a position that I accepted or a job that I took.

And so many people, including my husband, still saw me as a SAHM with a business on the side, when really I was a WAHM without childcare.

What a difference a title makes.

Thankfully, we've come to a place where what I do is not just "playing on the computer."

Most of the time.

And with the help of some part-time childcare now, we're both able to do what we need to do without one of us feeling guilty or getting pissed off.

But I still find working from home a challenge. The distractions are plenty, and it never fails that I'm sucked away from a project by the large load of laundry or pile of dishes. And while that's not a big deal all the time, I do feel as though I'd be able to get more work done, and thus have to sit in front of the screen for less time, if I had a quiet space where I could go to write.

And that's just what I've found.

A cool co-working space about 25 minutes from my house. I pay a small monthly fee to have access along with a bunch of other professionals like me, so I can go with my laptop to an "office" and work in the peace and quiet whenever I choose.

Of course, the challenge will be to actually get the work done there so I don't end up working there and at home all hours of the day. I'm really hoping it will let me be more focused on my work so that I can be more focused on what's going on at home.

But it's a start.

And boy does it feel good.

Comments

[Aimee Greeblemonkey]

Well done you.

[Meagan Francis]

Ohhhh, I'm so excited for you! I rented an office outside the home for a while and it was great for productivity. Only problem was it was a storefront with a big window on the main street with antiques stores all around. Every day people would walk by and press their noses up against the window to see what was going on inside...or worse, walk right in, and then stand there blinking in confusion when they realized it was just me, a desk, and a computer instead of turn-of-the-century furniture.

Still, though, it was a great experience, and I think the cooperative part really makes it work. Congrats!

[laura]

I've read about cooperative offices before, and I think they are a really great concept. Enjoy it, Kristen. You've built a really amazing business, and should be proud of what you do, and excited about what's to come.

[Atlanticwriter]

Good for you. I think having a professional working space that is not invaded by all things household makes a big difference. My office is the dumping ground for the stuff that is cleared out of the rest of the house. Somedays I am sure my motivation level directly corrolates with the level of household chaos in my office (it's a miracle I got anything done this week!). Managing work and kids is never a picnic no matter what your work location or your hours. I'm a firm believer that finding whatever works for you and your family is the right answer, whatever anyone else thinks. Good luck. Can't wait for the book!

[abbey]

I wonder if there is something like that here. Now, I mostly work while my kids are in child care, but the house is distracting too. I'm not sure how my telecommuting will proceed, but it is interesting and I do find I work with more focus when they are at childcare then when trying to work when they are supposed to be napping or here doing other things. In any case, the topic fascinates me enough to de-lurk. Thanks!

[MommyB]

Yeah I don't think people understand how hard working at home can be. They're like, "at least you get to work in pajamas." Good for you!

[Kitty]

I know exactly what you mean! Of course I can't get childcare for my little one just yet,(I'll feel more comfortable leaving her with someone when she's at least one... maybe)
but all the same, I don't think my husband takes what I do very seriously. Last night I was working on a major project, and he walks in with the crying baby chatting.

[Country-Fried Mama]

I just wrote about this very thing over the course of about a week. My "office" right now includes every free WiFi spot in town. It's not ideal, but boy I'm happy to be working again.

(And BTW, "none" up there at the top of your comments should quit typing and go back to sucking on lemons.)

[Greg]

"And with the help of some part-time childcare now, we're both able to do what we need to do without one of us feeling guilty or getting pissed off."

win.

nice work this year - its all about the finish, eh?

[Mom101]

You know you're going to be on the phone talking about your vagina post or something and well...it will be fun for you to make friends there.

[mrs chicken]

I do the co-working thing, too, here in Chambana. We love it. LOVE. It's such a great compromise. I have to say, I never thought I would *want* to go to an office again. But I do!

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@thenewgirl - I don't need an office for that. One of the benefits of a husband who travels a lot. Every night is private time.

Ahem.

[Rita ARens]

Good for you! I couldn't do what you've been doing. I'm working at home again, but I did it for a year in 2005 and sent my daughter to daycare while I did. I find I have to work more if I can't concentrate. Work smarter, not harder! Then go home and enjoy unplugging.

[You're Not Fooling Me]

Come on. We ALL know that the ONLY reason you need an *office* is so that you can try all your new sex-toys in PRIVATE.

[Vicky]

SO awesome and I'm jealous. Less work lately has made me have to let go of my part time help and now I wake up ridic. early to get work done. My husband still, after three years, "what are you doing up so early?" Frustrating. Less money seems to equal less validation over here.

[julie @ Mommy Said What?]

Co-working spaces are all the rage in my industry, and we've got a great one here (Station C) where quite a few of my friends/acquaintances work. It sounds like a perfect fit.

Good for you for taking the plunge. And the commute is great, too. 25 minutes on the way there to clear your head of the home-clutter, 25 minutes on the way home to decompress before entering the home.

Best of all, you'll love getting the chance to pee in privacy.

[TheFeministBreeder]

I, too, find it almost impossible to work/study at home. My children have come to HATE seeing me on the computer, and scream every time I open my laptop. Even with the kids asleep, there are just too many other things staring me in the face. So my MIL comes over twice a week and stays with the kids so I can either go to school early and spend 6 hours in the library before class, or I go to Borders cafe and hog a table for 6-8 hours. Without her help, I'd never get anything done. It's nice to get out of the house too, especially on MY terms. Someone just offered me a WOH job doing what I used to do, and I politely said "no fucking way!" I like being able to balance work and family, and escaping just a handful of hours a week is enough to do that.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@Faith - I just sort of stumbled upon it thanks to Daily Candy.

[Sarah Lena]

This is great news!! Everyone I've talked to who works from home SWEARS that this is the way to do it.

[Jennifer]

That sounds like the perfect solution! Here's to it working into your routine well.

[Angella]

Good for you, Kristen. I'm in the same position as you (as you know) and it's so hard to get it done with kids around. It's also hard to separate work from home.

I think you'll enjoy that space, and without the distractions of house stuff will be super efficient. Have fun!

[Cecilia]

Congratulations on your new space! I am curious to see if you and your family and friends will perceive your work a little differently now that you have an office.

From a reader's perspective, I think you do an amazing job of balancing all of your roles. You never fail to inspire me - thank you!

[Jennie]

That sounds great! I hope it works for you. Getting that peace & quiet in an office setting should make a lot of difference. My daughter is two and lately I am finding that balancing all these things is the most difficult thing I've ever done. And that's just with one kid!

[Faith]

I'm glad you found a place to get away. How did you find out about it? I'm wondering if there are any places like that around here. I work from home for my former employer doing corporate reporting and it would be nice to be able to go to an office.

[She Likes Purple]

That's so awesome. Good for you.

[prescott]

We have one of those here in Chicago and the couple people I've known that go there love it. Even though I have school-aged kids so I get alone time during the day, I still need to "go remote" once in a while (library, coffee shop, etc.) just to get out of the damn house -- I think it will do you a lot of good.

[Dani]

Congrats. That sounds like just what you need, a place to work without all the distractions of home. Yay!

[Melissa Beth]

As soon as I read this I started imagining how YOU would decorate YOUR cubicle... I am sure you could shock a few of your "co" workers. And I hope you'd post pics.

[Amanda]

Glad you found a solution that works for you. It's so hard to find balance no matter what we do sometimes.