All you want for Christmas is a sex book

Not only did my Mominatrix book arrive at my doorstep on Monday, but I got word (via Twitter - surprise!), that Amazon also has them in stock as well.

It's another Christmas miracle!

So, in honor of this momentous occasion, I'm giving away two signed copies of the book to one of you lovely readers that will get to your doorstep by Christmas Day (unless you live in Canada or Dubai or something - hey, I'm no miracle worker, at least in that department, anyway).

It will even be gift wrapped like only the Mominatrix could gift wrap.

Of course, if you just can't wait to see if you've won (and really, you can always do with one or more of these books), then you can snatch it up at Amazon.com right now.

It does make a fantastic holiday gift, if I do say so myself!

I'll also be making my way to a bunch of cities starting early next year on a sort of official Mominatrix book tour, so if you've already got your fill of sex books or happen to already get laid every night and don't think you need my book, then just ignore this.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment with your best kept sex tip.

You didn't think I was going to let you get off easy, did you? (Ha, get it? GET OFF!) Oh how I love puns!

So please, enlighten us all with your mad skills, cool tricks, or heck, favorite lube, vibrator, whatever. Leave it in the comment section by Midnight PST tonight and I'll pick one winner at random. If you're embarrassed, then leave a funny name and just make sure your email is correct (which does not get published with your comment) so I can reach you if you win.

And if you're feeling extra sexy this morning, come listen to my weekly podcast "Morning Sex with Mominatrix." We're talking to a porn expert from Eden Fantasys about porn for parents. Yes, I've coined that phrase and based on my extensive research (ahem), there is definitely such a thing.

Comments

[Jennifer]

My husband and I are not always in the mood at the same time (shocker) so I learned to fix this at times. When we are in bed together and I am in the mood but he is just tired or what not I get out my bullet. I tell him no problem I will work things out myself and after listening to the vibrator and my moans he is suddenly in the mood (9 times out of 10) and we get to having some fun. He claims I am cruel or mean by doing this but I am not forcing anything ;)

[Casey]

I wish I had a tip. We are young, and married (23 years old). But, we also have 3 kids (4, 2, and one month). Hubby works 60 hours per week, and I'm a SAHM. I've gotten to the point where we're not on the same page anymore, and he's always So tired. I don't even bother with it. It's not that we don't like sex or want it. It's just that life is in the way.

[Wendy]

Olive oil. It is the best. :)

[lori]

Oh okay. I'll add in.

1. Massage with a happy ending. (trade off who gets the happy ending)
2. A hard workout followed by a hot shower followed by a hot romp
3. Fireplace and a glass of wine.

All three of those are pretty fun.

[Naomi]

warm the toys up before putting them anywhere near your nethers...

[Wepa]

I tell him everything that turns me on....even the kinky stuff.

[Heidiho]

Gotta love the vibrator. These parent sex comments are making me feel much better, too!

[paige]

Lucky me, I have a very understanding and giving partner. He's also really linguistically talented. My tip...which was totally unexpected..was when he brought home KY Intense lube. Dude. I love that stuff. I thought it was all hype but it really, really works. Wow.

[nikki]

let go of your fear and inhibition... some of the dirtier stuff is more fun if you are just open to it... i fuckin love anal sex - but was too scared for so long to try it - and now I'm so glad I finally did... try something new - you never know when you'll find something you love!!!

[TLR]

Alcohol-plain and simple. Does the book come with wine??

[Mary A]

I'm with the others with the "electronic helpers", took me a while to admit I needed it, but boy does it help. That, and giving in to my inner dirty girl! Less inhibition=more fun for both of us!

[Kristen]

@Greg - Videos are forthcoming. I mean it.

[A]

Relax & keep an open mind.

[Sarah]

My only thought is making a plan to have sex at a certain time/day and then just doing it even if you aren't totally in the perfect mood. 2 years post 2nd child I'm finally wishing we had sex more often than we currently are.

[Corey]

Nick Jr. That'll buy you at least 30 minutes anytime of the day. I never thought I'd consider the Diego song an aphrodisiac!

[Martie]

We are huge movie watchers, so when we watch movies, I ask him to snuggle on the couch with me. He's at one end, I'm at the other. I put my feet in his lap and tease him all throughout the movie. Sometimes we don't actually make to the end of the movie--but that's why there is a pause button.

[Dan]

Communication and a clear mind. Nothing takes away from good sex than a mind full of nagging little worries. Take a moment to clear the mind and what follows is so much better.

[dunwannadoit]

im a touch psycho lately..half the time when he looks at me, it just pissees me off..the other i cry.. lol and if he touches me? i cringe, i automatically think he wants sex, even if he wants to cuddle. i had a hysterectomy a couple months ago due to cancer, so the mood? yeah its gone. i should be celebrating..i dont have to worry im getting pregnant every time we do it! he goes NUTS if i initiate..thats how deprived he is. but even worse?? my ad/aa meds prevent orgasm. with a toy it took 41 minutes STEADY to finally reach it..with and without assistance. thats crap, right?? help me! LOL
thank you for this awesome chance! and if ur in the austin area, i hope i can leave my kids somewhere! LOL

[Greg]

You know - sometimes its good to just get down in a parking garage. BEFORE the dinner reservation. Spontaneity works.

Send the book to someone else. I'm waiting for the video...

[MDTaz]

My best tip? Liquor.

[jessica]

i just never turn it down :) if he's suggesting, I'm accepting! I regret eating 3 brownies in a row, I regret that 2nd or 3rd beer...I NEVER regret having sex, so I ALWAYS say yes. I also wake up at the asscrack of dawn for really no reason other than my body is STOOOOOPID, so many times I'll wake him in the nicest way i can possibly think of and enjoy a little alone time before he heads off to work, and thegirl wakes and our day begins. lastly, even on nights I'm not so in the mood, a heavy make-out session (think middle school dance in teh coat closet) always does the trick. plus...it's FUN to make out! Married people should make a point to just make out every now and then. you'd be surpised how quickly the idea of NOT having sex can get you wanting to have sex... at least for me.

[L.H.]

We have 2 kids ages 4 and 2....I am exhausted....he lasts 2 minutes.....we need H.E.L.P.....although, reading through the comments makes me feel like I'm not alone.....

[A]

Since we had our 2nd child and my husband is working crazy long hours, sex doesn't happen very often. Usually within 5 minutes of sitting down on the couch after the kids are in bed or 5 seconds after hitting the bed, my husband is OUT. And if I want it, I have to take it. I don't do it very often...I've always kind of preferred he initiate, but I will get him "awake" and climb on top while he's still sleeping. It's amazing that the man never remembers me elbowing him in the ribs (or head) for snoring too loud, but the second I start he's wide awake and very grateful. ;)

[cjwsbg]

I would have to say...never forget to put the gate up...never ever. (But, you only make that mistake once!) Also...having two different TVs on in different rooms and on different channels helps make the noises mingle. We also occasionally like to use an ottoman(the gliding kind) for something different!

I seem to let loose after I have had a few drinks, but that is because I am pretty uptight. Hopefully when the kids get older and leave the house, I will be more comfortable letting loose!

[Mom of two boys]

Wait. Parents still have sex?

Please send help.

[h]

We're all about location, location location! If I get in bed at night I'm out. After 11years of marriage & 3kids I'm too tired to care at night. So to keep it interesteing we try to have sex in every room/closet in our house & then get daring beyond that. Can't tell you how many times we've done it in the mini-van, public bar restroom, movie theater (ok, that was just head), baseball dug-out in college, carwash, the woods, the pool...etc.. Keeps things fresh and exciting!

[Kaci]

You know that exercise ball gathering dust in the corner of your bedroom? (Oh wait, that's just mine? Crud.)

Here's a tip. Grab it, and lean on it. Face your man, don't face him..either way it's a bouncing good time!

[Caro]

Hubs and I are going on 10 years together. Throw a kid in the mix and let's just say when we do get the chance, it's HOT... because we haven't done anything remotely sexual for a week and we're desperate for whatever we can get. It's kind of a blessing, kind of a curse.

My tip... hmm. Liberal application of the tongue. Take that to mean whatever you like!

[Ruth]

After 4 kids, I found that butt lifts, (laying on your back on the floor and raising your butt, while squeezing) actually worked to shrink my Hoo Hoo the size of the GRAND CANYON!!(Plus it gives you a nice ass to boot!) LOL

[mamabird]

My sister bought me a vibrator over a year ago. I've never used it because it freaks me out a bit. I think I'm more of a prude than I ever imagined I'd be. I don't really want to be but it has become that way. My sister loves her vibrator and has replaced the batteries many times. Mine, well. Can batteries die from lack of use? She was also telling me about some underwear she has. I told her I've never bought sexy lingerie. So this isn't my sex tip, but it is my sister's sex tip to me: "Get yourself some sexy lingerie and use that vibrator. Yup. That's it." Maybe I need this book to bring me back to the sexually active part of life! (Good lord, I'm only 31.)

[Jana]

A clean house is the strongest aphrodeisiac for me - but I want something more more more intersting and fun---

[Tia]

Don't marry a man that says,"you wanna do it?" 6 months into your relationship. LOL! Yeah I love my husband dearly but he could put some effort into it. Oh wait, I'm easy. But the trick I use on my husband when I want to get laid is to clean something, ANYTHING. Nothing gets my husband in the mood like a clean closet :) Anyway I would LOVE to win your book since I have a rule not to buy myself my own Christmas presents. But if I don't win I will be buying it for my birthday next month :)
And btw, how cool is that? You have a book, a real published book!

[W.H.]

With three boys running around, and only one door inside the house that locks it's all about the shower! Either during breakfast, lunch, dinner or while our oldest has the two younger ones entertained, we jump in and take a nice warm shower together.
No mess to clean up and hey, it saves on water too!

[Julie]

Since quite a few other people have already said the more sex you have you, the more you want, my tip would be to think about sex throughout the day. Then, by the time the kids are in bed or at our exs' houses, I am ready to go.

[Shelley]

I like Slip instead of KY. Everyone should try Slip!

[TheFeministBreeder]

Dang! I wish I'd heard the Porn for Parents stuff. I always remember about that stuff too late.

As far as how to keep the sex alive - I have no idea. I can barely stand my husband touching me. I say get a boyfriend! ;)

[ktotheg]

After two kids......KEGELS.

[Ronnie]

I am all about have more, the more I have the more I want. That about sums it up! ANd that book ohhhhhhhh that book! I NEED IT! My sister needs it! We both need it, oh hell off to shop....

[Andrea]

I think having sex in random places always seems to be the best.

[Mrs. Clean]

I'll give you my husband's sex trick: he cleans the kitchen while I put the kids to bed. Nothing gets me ready to go quite like a clean kitchen.

Mrawr.

[AW]

Laughter... it's always worked for us. We have fun together and when that happens it's easy to relax and feel sexy.

[Fizzled Out]

I NEED this! For the past 3 years, since my husband's son moved in with us, we have been in a rut. Sex is very rare at my house. We used to be crazy and have sex all of the time but in the past few years we have lost that fizzle. The best thing right now is my Wet Wabbit! Luckily my partner doesn't mind using it on me!

[Chris]

Sex tip... communicate, lock the door, and grab a towel. Works everytime!

[Mommy Spills]

My best sex tip is to put together a "kit" of sorts. Sort of a "bag of tricks," if you will. Year after year, doing the same old thing will not do anything for your mojo. So adventure into the land of the unknown...vibrators, lotions, costumes, other assorted "naughty" things. It's all about variety, spice and truth be told: Multiple orgasms! :o)

[Emily Amelia]

When my husband & I were first getting together, we read "the Joy of Sex" to each other (and we were both teens at the time). It's amazing what reading about various ideas/techniques can do to keep your mind open to new ideas and to help open up the lines of communication.

Now that we've got a child, the best tip I've got it to not stress about the sex (how much/little, how long/short, how adventurous/vanilla, etc) -- just make time for it and see what you get! If you don't get the best of your life tonight, you can always try again tomorrow, but you might just get *really* lucky tonight! ;)

[TheGoodWife]

nursing a 4 month old means LUBE, LUBE, and more LUBE. Freaking hormones. We use astroglide, but some decent head works better ;) Yeah, that's right. I just winked at you internet.

[Ponies are nice but...]

This comment was interrupted by my 6 month old. Oh wait, so is my sex life. Err...my former sex life. Enter the quickie. That is my tip, and my friend. The only downside? Now that my husband knows I can get off (too) in 5 minutes flat with zero foreplay our stable has downgraded to a one-trick pony. I need your book!

[hope]

communication is key for amazing sex! also, don't be afraid to try new things...they may sound weird but what's more awesome than giving your partner a toe curling experience?

[Kerrie]

Have more sex so you want more sex. It's all about demand and supply ;) It's amazing how much this helped me and the hubz.

[maryjo]

get a babysitter! and don't be afraid to make some noise.

[caramama]

I did a whole post about ways to get in the mood, because there isn't much sex if you aren't in the mood for it.

My favorite tip is to read romance novels. I read a statistic once that said women who read romance novels have 52% MORE sex than women who don't.

[D.Porter]

I like to surprise once in awhile when he comes home from work at the door, naked, in bed with knee high boots and fishnets..only! Keep it fresh, keep it new...and its true the MORE you have the MORE you want!!

[BabyMomma]

A few things...
One is even if I'm not in the mood - to give it a try and we usually have fun.
Another - it actually seems to make it more fun to find some video clips online to watch together (just freebie stuff).
Also - chocolate & wine.
I find that right now, since we are still in the having newborn phase - showers work well.

[DeAnn G.]

Laughter. I know sounds weird right? But I am a very self conscious so when random noises(do I REALLY have to elaborate here? Didn't think so!), leaks or whatever random malfunction and or position that feels great but makes your body look like ass(too often to count), that may happen during sex, he helps me laugh it off. It's no big deal it's just sex. He taught me that, I never had an orgasm from sex (yes, I had several before, I was just... alone, k?) before I met him. So relax if he didn't like you or your body he wouldn't be screwing you end of story. Now if I could just work on our "kinda in a rut so I hardly get foreplay anymore thing.." Life would be great, oh and the whole I am pregnant so I sometimes make random noises that DONT come out of the orfice we are using, talk about mood killer for me!!!!

[Mommit is Tired]

The best free tip? Or the one you have to pay for? LOL! The best for the Tired clan is communicate and listen. Regularly. Even if it feels stoopid.

The best paid-for tip? A strap-on. It drives him nuts (haha) when I start hinting about what I'd like to do with it. ;)

[gina]

lately my favorite sex trick is the massaging shower head i am in my 3rd trimester of my second pregnancy and this is about the time my husband stops touching me he thinks it will make me go into labor i hate it i need this book

[Mandie]

Sending sexy texts and the occasional cleavage shot.. I am an adult and married so it's totally okay.. It's kind of hot when his buddies get jealous.. Does he show them? Probably, he's a man, but they are big and not completely nude (most of the time) and that's kinda hot too..

[Monica]

Apparently, the shower is a big deal for us... Just about any time hubby and I shower together, we end up... needing to take a longer shower.. :)

[Beth]

Love the KY jelly you find at any drugstore. Works magic!

[Sincerely Jenni]

My biggest secret seems to be this... if I am the one to initiate the sex, it drives my husband wild.

We lead a boring life, apparently. Hence the reason I need this book.

[Mandak]

The shower. Alone or not.

Please tell me you are sort of officially coming to Minnesota on your tour. None of my favorite bloggers to authors come to visit us up here.

[E]

I don't have a best secret or tip, which is why I need this book!

[Stephanie]

Teenagers will kill your mojo, especially when their rooms are directly next to or below your bedroom. Make sure that they have plenty of friends who ask them for sleepovers. I can't really let loose unless my 13 yr old stepson is away for the night.

[Erin]

Just do it - seriously. With two little kids (3 and 7 months) I'd usually rather take a nap than have sex but figured out that if you just do it you don't ever regret it afterwards!

[tuesday]

Hmmm. I would say be open for new experiences. Anytime you can get away without kids can be a chance to have a encounter. Make it fun even if it seems to take more effort than you want to put out. (PUN!)

[Kendra]

My only tip is to be open to trying new things. Helps after several years of marriage and dating to have some newer tricks.

[Rebecca]

Creative positions help to spice things up. I'd love to win your book and get some more ideas!

[Karen Chatters]

I can't wait to read your book, I'm really hoping it's going to bring the sex back into my life. Or at least give me some creative ideas...

[amy]

For many years, sex was work - working to make a baby. (We finally had to use professional help.) So I have not been interested in having sex in 19 months... I gave up on sex as soon as I found out I got pregnant - I haven't been interested since...

Maybe I can actually "Use" a sex book... (Or libido.)

[Liesel]

Vibrator. It's all about the bullet. Most women don't reach orgasm easily, me included. So we use a vibrator during sex. Helps me, helps him. Win win.