It could be worse. It can always be worse.

I thought that the toilet was the one place where I could rest assured that for five entire minutes while #2 is being shown who's boss there would be no tomfoolery of the near three-year-old variety. 

Parenting Dictionary

Noun: The potty. Defintion: A veritable toddler straight jacket in the form of a porcelain bowl that holds tiny butts in one place.

Yeah right.

As it turns out, I overestimated the maturity level of my near three-year-old and the confining qualities of the toilet because during the small span of the 2.43 minutes between him screaming "I'm DOOOOOOOOOONE" and me getting there [which by the way should be noted that he screams "I'm done" at least three times before he is actually done and I have yet to figure out why he screams it when he's not actually done because how are you fooled by your own poop I mean don't you know that you're not done and if so why bother yelling it other than trying to torture your poor mother slowly and painfully because she once accidentally hit a squirrel with her car another life and didn't stop and now it's payback time] he unraveled yet another roll of toilet paper and covered the entire bathroom in baby soap.

But instead of bursting into tears, I cracked a beer, cleaned the entire bathroom with the toilet paper and soap, and then thanked him that it was the soap he decided to spread around the room.

And not poop.

Comments

[pampers coupons]

Wow, I am so impressed with your blog - I just came across it, and have gone through WAY more pages than I care to admit. ;) Your style is so inspiring, and you make each piece you wear an object of envy! I'm your newest follower. :)

[Amber]

lol- yeah, my 4yo does this too. HOWEVER_ HIs new favorite thing to do it to actually get of of said toilet seat while he is still going when he is supposed to wait for me to wipe his arse. Lnog story short- terds on the floor and smears on the seat. Aint mommyhood grant?

[Mom101]

Now there's a Bud ad I'd like to see.

[Tracy]

Trust me, my son is now 4 1/2 and he's still doing what your son's doing. So you'll probably have to deal with that for awhile LOL.
My son has extended his poop time to 15-20 minutes (used to be only 5) with the sing-song yell 'I'm done' for about 10-20 times before really done.
Thank gods it's soap and not poop. I totally get how you feel.

[Linda]

Posted this over at Baby Bunching bests. But really....what is it about the I'm done and not being done. My youngest does that. Drives me crazy!

[Bella]

FREAKING Awesome! You are a very funny woman. It's funny... because it's TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE.

[Asianmommy]

Haha! Yes, you're very lucky. :)

[amanda]

You are, quite simply, awesome. And, I might add, so is he. Thanks be to a lot that it wasn't fecal matter.

[Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com]

Yeah, I'd be glad it were the soap too. A boy I used to babysit for spread poop all over the bathtub once. I thought I was going to die. I would have taken soap any day of the week.

[Mary]

I think they just want company. And they know you won't just stand there in the bathroom with them without a reason. I think that's what my 3yo is thinking.

[patois]

That, my dear, is a sign of a true mother.

[Manic Mommy]

Oh yeah. Every potty adventure requires most of a roll of toilet paper.

Wait til he figures out he can put one end in the toilet, flush, and watch it unravel. Good times.

[Keyona]

I raise my glass to that. Oh dear how it could have been worse....

[KittyB@katscradle]

Ooh... Poop on the walls, you are lucky it was just soap, almost makes me happy mine is still in diapers. The only thing I have to contend with is the zombie baby that comes out at feeding time.

[Heather]

I have an award for you on my blog~http://wwwtheadventuresofcrazymumcom.blogspot.com/2009/10/3rd-time-is-charm.html

[Kelly]

I bet your bathroom smells really good!

[cjwsbg]

hehehe...thanks for the laugh!

[Mara]

I was *so* sure it was going to be a smeared-poop story. You're right... it can always be worse!

[Secretia Teller]

Bungee cords might help.

[Issa]

With toddlers, I think you have to take it where you can get it. Says the woman who just finished cleaning up a 40lb bag of dog food.

Dude, all I did was pee. Less than two minutes and he spilled the whole thing. I really want to know how a 25 pound child can even move a 40lb bag.

[Jim]

From the guy in the corner....I am dying here.....

[Amira @ DefineMature.com]

A-freakin'-MEN!

There is always silver lining (and not a stinky smeared one)SOMEWHERE!

[Rusti]

Oh.thank.you.

I sooo needed a laugh this morning... so so much.

thank you. :)

[Janene]

I had twin baby girls and a 2-yo daughter. Once while I fed or bathed the babies the 2-yo was in the bathroom. By the time I got there to help, her she had painted her arms, legs, and torso wtih red nail polish. That was a fun cleanup! But at least she had not painted the walls. Thank God they are now 9 and 11.

[Suz]

As the mom of an 11 year old and a 13 year old, I almost forgot about the dreaded "I'm dooooonnnneeee!" call from the bathroom. I hated that. I was so ready for them to learn to wipe their own butts. And yippee! They have so learned.

[Mommy Spills]

Have you ever calculated how much time you spend wiping asses?! I did once, and trust me - it's a lot of wiping. Glad it wasn't the poop.

[c]

woot-woot for no poop.

[anna]

Oh, the toilet paper spread all over drives me nuts; mine will unroll it down the hallway: 'I making a line mama!'

I like your solution!

[Alex]

My new favourite expression around the house is
"The poo is coming! The poo is coming!"

If we're lucky we get that poo in the toilet. If not, several people smoosh that poo all over the house. Yay.

[Kim]

When my daughter fakes me out with the "i'm done" routine, she then tells me that "the poop is teasing me mommy!"

[Amanda]

Amen to the soap and not the poop. As a mom of two boys, I totally get that feeling of relief when you see it's only the soap that's all over the bathroom.