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October 13, 2009


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There's this British TV show about a family. They live in an old fashioned town house, 3 floors and an attic converted into Mum & Dad's room.

The Mum is always asking boy# 2 to get the letters off the desk in her room. Then, oh my goodness, she needs stamps, from her desk. And then, she dares him to do more sit-ups or press-ups or whatever excercise his tween-age brother is doing. (The tween brother is trying desperately to look more manly than possible at his age.) The younger brother easily beats his brother, but both he and his parents continue to egg the younger on to higher and higher counts. Then they send him up to the attic on some other errand.

We are already adopting similiar tactics with our 2 and a bit year old.

A divorced friend's youngest son needed socks, but all he could find was a black Sharpie. That's probably all I need to say.

My friend's wife once scooped poop out of the tub with the hair rinsing cup, sat it on the back of the toilet in the kids' bathroom, and forgot about it. For days. Because of that story, I'm tempted to have my kids wear swim pants in the tub.

Just found your blog and love it. I had to laugh at the tattoo comment. My boys are 4, 2, and 1 and some days I want to go hide in the closet. Or under my bead. They excel at making messes--a highlight was when a 2 year old, fresh out of the crib and into the Big Boy Bed, found a jar of Vaseline. He greased up the walls, the sheets, the hardwood floors, and even the doorknob. Ironically, it was the greased up doorknob that prevented him from escaping his naptime prison.

You're not alone, hang in there. :)

I COMPLETELY understand! I am a Mom to 4 (and due in March). My youngest daughter just turned 3 and I can't leave her unattended for one minute. My kids are fine at 2, but for some reason as soon as they turn 3, they turn into little devils. In one afternoon she drew all over the walls with a black sharpie, flooded the bathroom floor with a whole bottle of handsoap and tried to flush a whole roll of tp, washed the window with lotion and emptied an entire tube of toothpaste on the couch! Thing is she was not unattended. She just happened to do these things one at a time when my back was turned. (Someone has to do housework around here)

Anyway, I enjoy your blog and can relate so KNOW you are not alone!!!

Oh, 3 can be very, very hard...but hang in there--it does get better when they're older & understand things a little bit better, I promise!

I feel ya, dude. I sooo feel ya. I watched a Disney princess movie with my daughter today. Yes, things are THAT bad. Oh, and she had a 104 temp. Nice. I'm sending good vibes to you!

Hang in there! You are doing great! I would be completely bonkers by now if I were in your shoes.

Sounds like you might need surge support. Any reinforcements you can call in to help you with the full-time watching of the handsome tiger?

He looks so proud of himself! My little sister, Lucy (now 9) still writes on herself, at least now not on her face. When she was bout Drew's age, my mom thought to snag a nap on the couch while she was watching a movie. Ha. Mom finally woke up when Lucy was giving her 'eye shadow' with a crayola marker. Yeah, washable my ass. Mom's hands, arms, chest and face were covered in Lucy's doodles. At least she picked a nice mauve for here eyes.

PS - my point was... it's okay to be broken...

Hey, I've been reading awhile and I'm jumping in with my first comment.

My boys will be 3 and 4 this month. And we've had a lot of extra stuff going on. And today was harder than usual. I held calm and steadfast for a good part of the day, but about 2 pm I snapped and hollered and we all had to regroup.

It's an emotional time for you and the kids, as if that isn't the understatement of the year. Sounds like they are really letting you know things don't feel right. I've been experiencing that lately.

Through all my crap and crud and therapy that came along with my mothering story, one of the biggest things I've been learning is to stop and acknowledge with the kids that I feel sad, or tired, or worried. And how are they feeling? And how can we help each other?

I grew up with the idea that I had to protect my kids from ever seeing me that way, but now I'm learning that that's bullshit.

It's still a madhouse over here, but it helps me keep from wigging out so much if I remind myself that they're dealing with a lot of crap too.

Thanks for sharing, I enjoy reading your entries.

I am not even lying here. I have a little boy just his age. We have a park with a mile and a half walking trail. I put the baby (our 10 month old) in a stroller and let him run. As much as he possibly can. We go all the way around the track. He has the option of stopping or riding on the stroller (I'm not a psycho). But mostly we run... AND HE LOVES IT.

It has done worlds for him. I highly recommend the Dog Whisperer approach.

I walk my toddler and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I'm sorry, but I laughed my ass off when I looked at that picture. He looks hilarious and believe it or not, when your hubby comes home you look back at that picture and laugh. Send it to him if you can , it will make him laugh at a time when he needs it :) Life is rough for you right now, I had 3 boys under the age of 5 at one time I feel your pain, although I never had a husband in the service. Now my brood of 4 are 14, 11, 10 and almost 6 and I almost miss those funny things they used to do. Almost... LOL

I'm with @the_new_girl TV will be a good thing for the next 2 months. Then after that you can unplug it :)

I think he looks adorable and I would leave him inked for at least a week!

I am feeling for you, friend. And I love the savoring the moments, yo, but for real? Your husband is in a war zone and uh, SO ARE YOU.

Keep your fucking head down.

And the TV ON.


Lox in the toy bin? That must have been way stinky.

And please, Mominatrix, you trying to tell me you don't have a set of restraints hanging around?

This is what Three is like for me...he's the one constantly getting into stuff. And then getting into MORE stuff while I'm cleaning up the old stuff and when I thought he was in time-out or in his bed. He wears me down. He's very, very lucky he's so cute.

Sometimes, I can only laugh. It has a hystrical edge to it, but if I don't laugh, I'll have a completely mental breakdown. I feel your frustration.

Ugh. Poor thing. Hang in there. He did totally look like a Tiger though. ;o)

This post just reminded me that I forgot to clean the crayon marks off of the one nice piece of furniture we have in the house. Hang in there!

Can you put him on the treadmill for an hour? Stick a DVD in and maybe he won't notice that you're trying to wear him out.

Oh, boy. Literally.

I think it's best that your son is on the East Coast, and mine is on the West.

Sharpie on the wall? "It's a spider, Momma. Look, spider on the wall."

Trail of cereal? Leading to our bed? Check.

Scream fest? Check.

Anything that looks like a stick instantly making him a Ninja? check.

I get it. I really really get it.

I am pregnant with my third son. Ages 5, 2/12, and arriving in 1 month. Gulp. Hang in there.

Oh man oh man oh man. Feeling for you. That photo also reminds me of when my younger sister scribbled all over her face with ball point pen. Guess who was charged with cleaning it up. Ugh.

Sending lots of good thoughts for a sh*t free day. -Christine

@Cara - THANK YOU. I will hope that my husband doesn't read this before he gets back so I can clean it!

@patois - Funny, I noticed that as well. He had just gotten his face painted like a tiger (whole face) last week at Sesame Place, so I think he was using that as his inspiration.

Lucky for me, he's now decided to explore his artistic skills - except he doesn't like paper. I suppose you can't limit an artist, however... OY.

I can see where you'd be grateful that it was a dry erase marker.

And, not to be all ignoring your angst and all, but he did a GOOD job making himself look tiger-like. I'm very impressed. Mayhaps he gets his creativity from you.

I have a three year old who could be your little guy's twin...they must be soul mates or something...

Wow! Sounds like you are dealing with more antics than even Super Woman could handle! Hang in there, you are doing a great job. And I'm with Mary on this one, use that TV when you need to! No shame in that.

Oh, I soooo feel your pain. My 4 year old son is a constant ball of terrifying mischief and I have no idea how to fix it or deal with it.

Here's what I do know though: cheap, non-aerosol hairspray will completely remove Sharpie from carpet. Valentine's day last year my son woke me up with a great present: red Sharpie scribbling on the treads of 10 of our 18 stairs....treads covered with very light beige carpet. After I finished freaking the eff out, I turned to the Internets and followed the advice of many sites. It took several applications and lots of blotting, but after a day you couldn't see any trace of the marker.

So, good luck!

I alternate between giving mine full and constant attention and putting them in front of the TV. What? I never claimed to be running for mother of the year. I'm just trying to get through the day. :)

You'll never finish cleaning when you have children. So reward yourself whenever you can!

There are only two things that will wear my son out so he's not throwing stuff or kicking his brother's toys or climbing onto the kitchen table, etc., 1) jumping and 2) swimming. My parents have a trampoline solely for this purpose. The downside of both of those things is that by doing them, he's getting stronger and it takes longer to get him tired. Hang in there, babe.

They should make toddler-sized treadmills to burn off some of that energy.

My short term strategy is to tell my son to jump up and down twenty times (good for practicing counting too!), but that doesn't keep him occupied for long . . .

Hang in there!

i can so relate! my husband is off on a deployment too. for us, it's the second half, and it feels like i'm starting all over again. by the time i get it all figured out again, he'll probably be home. thanks for sharing your life with us.. it's how i know i'm not alone.

My daughter called me into the hallway Sunday to see what her little brother was doing (3 in January) and he found a green marker. His hands were green as were his lips. He grinned up VERY proud at me. I was thankful it was a washable marker and my husband tried to have the "guys don't wear lipstick" talk with him. Boys are soooo different.

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