Motherhood Uncensored

11 Months - I knew it. She's a savant.

A headband savant. But still.

Georgia man slaps stranger's crying kid

*Added video of my appearance below!

As if I needed yet another reason not to set foot in Walmart ever again, I got an email from CNN (thanks to Punditmom) asking me to come on CNN NewsroomAM tomorrow morning at around 10:20am (EST) [come watch! or tivo!] and discuss some dude who slapped another person's two-year-old who wouldn't be quiet.

Seriously, that's taking the Etiquette Bitch thing a little too far.

In fact, I'm surprised the guy had a set of balls left when they arrested him.

I think we can all agree that slapping someone else's kid is never okay, regardless of how loud, obnoxious, or utterly ridiculous they were being.

It's a parenting rite of passage for your kid to have an emotional breakdown at a store. And how we choose to handle it is our own business.

I usually try to leave and then come back if my child has calmed down, especially if I'm in a restaurant or small area where the screaming and wailing would be extremely disturbing to others.

But there are times, particularly when grocery shopping, where it's hard to leave. If my husband is gone, I can't just leave my stuff and come back, particularly if I've packed up all three kids to go there.

So, I'll give them a series of idle threats, offer up the token lollipop, and hope that they'll make it through the shopping without losing it. Again.

I know that I'm probably judged by some onlookers, even moms, who don't appreciate my screaming child. When I see parents struggling with their crying kiddos, I tend to feel more empathetic when judgy. We've all been there, and Lord knows that the situation is often times not as easy as "naughty kid out of control."

I like to give parents, particularly those with tantruming, crying kids, the benefit of the doubt.

The child could be ill, or have a disability, or be um, a child. And chances are the mom is embarrassed, mortified, fed-up, or a combination of all three.

Of course, there are always exceptions, and people will cite times where parents just let their kids run out of control. And yes, I have seen it too.

But even then, that doesn't warrant face slaps. In fact, I'm not sure I would even say anything to the parent at all.

And I can't imagine a screaming kid interfering with my shopping experience at Walmart. The flourescent lights do that on their very own.

So, what's your policy when it comes to your kid's behavior in public? Would you say something to someone else's child if they were bothering your shopping experience? What would warrant that if you did it at all? Are you an Etiquette Bitch?

Breastfeeding is a privilege, not a right

Recently, the Ohio Supreme Court upheld a ruling that the firing of a woman from her job at Totes/Isotoner for taking unapproved breaks to pump for her 5-month-old baby was not discrimination.

Technically speaking, she was in the wrong.

And even though two of the justices believed that breastfeeding should be covered under pregnancy discrimination, they had to rule that her unauthorized breaks were enough to get her fired, even though her colleagues who were taking unauthorized smoke breaks and bathroom breaks are still gainfully employed.

That's right. Somehow toking on cancer sticks and peeing is excusable.

The mixed messages from goverment regulated agencies, officials, and well-respected health organizations about breastfeeding is frustrating but not surprising.

New mothers are inundated with lactation consultants, nurses, even doctors strongly encouraging them to breastfeed right after the baby is born. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and World Health Organization (WHO) strongly suggest breastfeeding until a baby is one and two, respectively.

And as many women who chose not to breastfeed or were unable to breastfeed can attest to, the societal pressure to put their boobs to functional use is often times overwhelming.

But yet, women still get tossed out of restaurants for breastfeeding in public. And apparently, women still get fired for taking breaks to pump milk.

"Breastfeed your babies, damnit!" they tell us, "but not in front of me or anywhere outside the privacy of your home and certainly not so that it interferes with you making umbrellas and slippers."

Even more interesting is that WIC and other lower-income service providers are strongly promoting the breastfeeding over formula with enhanced food packages for the moms and free breast pumps and supplies, not just for health reasons, which often times doesn't seem as a large enough factor to sway moms, but for cost reasons.

It's true. Breastfeeding is free.

But when women, particularly women from certain economic and social classes, have to return to their contract, hourly, temporary, and/or shift positions that do not afford them a quiet office, a nursing and pumping room, a long lunch, or any of the benefits those in a different economic and social classes have access to, it's not free.

In fact, it will probably cost them their job.

I've always understood that breastfeeding in this country is not a right but rather a privilege saved for those who have the time, opportunity, and resources to do it for longer than the first few weeks of their baby's life.

You can tell a new mom that "breast is best" until you're blue in the face, but how does that help her figure out how to pump at her Totes/Isotoner factory where she's allotted carefully monitored breaks that might not necessarily coordinate with when she needs to pump?

And where does she pump - the group break room? The women's restroom?

What super human woman is going to do that on a daily basis?

I never once took for granted my office with a lock and the student observation lab where I could pump privately or quietly nurse my baby. And I understood completely why the young mothers I gave birth right next door to in Mississippi chose formula.

Until we follow up these medically proven claims about the powers of breastmilk with action and support, moms will be left to make choices based on factors outside of their own baby's health and well-being.

And I just don't get how that's right.