Got mojo?

There's nothing like a few days away with friends in Vegas and a new snappy haircut to remind me that I haven't had my mojo sucked out of me by Dr. Evil, or in my life, Dr. "parenting three awesome but incredibly challenging children."

Of course now you've got to pump your boobs before dinner and you're more concerned with the comfort of your shoe and not the size of its heel.

But even with a pair of uneven tits and flat gladiator sandals, I was able to get a little swing back in my step and a hair toss that made short drunk men try to pick me up in the middle of the Hard Rock Hotel.

"Hey big mama!"

ROWR.

What's amazing is that I spent most of the days leading up to the trip talking myself out of going. It's easy to tell yourself that it's just too hard to get away - what if Margot doesn't stop crying? What if the kids don't listen?

This infinite list of "what ifs" almost renders me powerless.

I've been refining the art of the Type-A Mom lately, much to my chagrin. It's not that surprising, considering I'm a Type-A personality in everything except when it comes to letting out the dog and putting my shoes away. But the more I'm home alone with the kids and the less I get to go out and leave them with someone else (including their own father), I'm becoming stuck in a vacuum of "my way is the only way."

Thankfully, my former self combined with my tired mom who needs and deserves a little time away self kicked that controlling, anxious "bitch" in the ass and dragged me (mostly uncontested) to a completely unsponsored *gasp* trip to a trade show in Vegas with a few of my dearest friends.

That doesn't mean I escaped the desperate 11pm "Margot won't stop crying" texts from my husband or the sore, engorged boobs.

But it's a small price to pay for a few days where I get to dress up, wear make-up, and soak up the company of truly awesome women.

And I'm amazed at how treating myself to a little love and attention can make me ready, even grateful, to go back to providing love and attention to others on a 24 hour basis.

Comments

[TheFeministBreeder]

I am trying desperately to get my mojo back, and it is NOT working. I got a stupid-ass Mom Bob haircut today (NOT what I was going for!) and it seems like no matter what I wear, I'll never look like I used to. My skin is yucky, and this spare tire looks pretty ridiculous situated atop the 6 inch heels I used to sport around town.

How do you do it? I don't think I could feel hot again even if I took 6 months away from my kids. I'm a terminal mother now. I just posted a hilarious video on my blog today about it. It's good for laugh (and then a cry.)

[Kitty]

It's so nice to hear mom's who take time for themselves. Ever since I got pregnant all these nice people keep telling me I'll never have time to take care of myself.
I have this plan to do all this stuff AFTER I have the baby. You know a visit the doctor, optometrist, dentist, salon, and spa day? All that stuff that I would do before the baby except you really can't cause your face is to chubby for a hair cut and the medical stuff will all change soon. My husband is all for it, but I'm so nervous that once the baby is here I'll never get around to it, and I won't take care of myself. I can see myself putting it off until I lose the pregnancy weight or something, and then just never doing it. The nice people who keep telling me I have "no idea what I'm in for" (no kidding but could you be less helpful?) have really got me nervous about life after baby.

[Christina]

Taking time to remember you are an individual and do a little for yourself goes a long way in keeping your sanity.

It's why I love going to blogging conferences - I come home happier and ready to be a parent again.

Glad you had a good time in Vegas!

[Meredith]

I left my children for the first time last spring - four days in San Francisco with my best friend from college, complete with Pretenders concert. It was a totally selfish all-about-ME trip, my first since before I was married. The almost overwhelming guilt eventually gave way to the important reminder that it was totally ok to take care of myself and like you wrote - it sort of recharged my desire and ability to take care of my family.

Also, I'm totally jealous of your bangs, I've always wanted hair that could do that.

[Secretia Teller]

Your blog is really awesome.

Secretia

[Lisa]

It was nice to meet you in Vegas. And yes, I was totally envious of the fact that you were able to leave your little monkey at home, while I was running to the pump room to feed mine every couple hours.

Sometimes we forget that we were once amazing independent woman who actually did stuff for ourselves.

Every mom needs to have a couple days with the girls, even if it is just to head to a trade show :)

[warmchocmilk]

I don't spend much "me" time. Then every once in awhile I explode. I think I need to make it a priority.

[Boston Mamas]

Yes, yes, and yes. I'm so glad you had a chance to get away and treat yourself well. -Christine

[Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting]

I am completely in your spot right now - leaving for not 1 but 2 events next week, and the 'what-ifs' and guilt are overwhelming me, trying to talk me out of my plans.

But I NEED it. I really do. And so, I'm going, even if I resist it at first, because I'll be grateful for having gone and will feel recharged when I get back, but it's still hard when the doubts and guilt gnaw at me like my teething infant does.

[cjwsbg]

I am glad you got out and about! I like the new 'do as well! What made you do it? What does your husband think?

I have only been away from the kids overnight once. But, I am looking forward to more nights!

[G]

Yay! And I love the bangs!

[Liz@thisfullhouse]

Terrific new look. Of course, you'd look good no matter. Yay, for a little me time makes everybody a little happier. I swear!

[Restless Mama]

So jealous you got to go to the tradeshow. How was it? Were you able to see ALL of the vendors?

Glad you still got the goods to "impress" and that you made it home safe and sound and wanting to hug your kiddos.

[Cecilia]

Love the new haircut - fabulous! Enjoy Vegas and the Expo!

[Amira from definemature.com]

Good for you!

I recently had a self recharge day and it was sooo needed.

You can't give to your family when you don't have anything left of yourself to give.

[Jen S]

That is exactly why I go to Vegas at least once a year. It's like a battery recharge!! :-)

[JHP]

Glad you had a chance to recharge! I think that is a good thing for you and your fam!

And in response to the cat calls from short men... "Work it, own it!" ;)

[Dawn]

I totally get it. I went for a haircut yesterday and cried while the stylist gave me a scalp massage as I realized how very long it had been since someone took care of me.

[Issa]

Have you gotten, the I wish I was still in Vegas blues yet?

A few days away is great, I just think I needed one more day.

[RookieMom Heather (body by milo)]

Oh hey me again. I'm leaving my kids for the first time with someone other than my husband (next month) and I'M TERRIFIED.

[RookieMom Heather (body by milo)]

Sing it, sister! I'm glad to hear that you got some time to get your groove back.

[kyslp]

Everyone needs some time for themselves. That's what I tell my kids when I send them to their rooms.

[Nel]

So glad you got to get away! Vegas is the PERFECT place for that!

[Karen]

I'm headed to Vegas in a few weeks, sans baby and the "what if's" are already happening. What if she isn't weaned? What if she get's sick? What if my husband can't get her to eat? What if.... AAHHHH!! But I'm going. And I'm going to have a blast.

Good for you for going and having a great time. I love the new hair!!

[Fairly Odd Mother]

My #1 plan now that husband is finishing school is to get a little more "me" time. Glad you to get to get away with the girls.

[Monica]

LOVE the new bangs! I'm taking the picture with me to my stylist this weekend!

[tng]

Fo shizzle my mamizzle.

[Hellcat13]

This is the one thing I am determined to remember if I ever have kids - the importance of self. I see so many women who completely lose themselves in their children. I recognize that kids are a massive change in their lives, and that things will naturally shift in importance...but I think there ALWAYS needs to be some time set aside for self. I don't think it's healthy to live through for someone else's life. I don't want to lose ME, and I think there can be a balance.

[phenry]

I completely believe we should all take some time for ourselves. However, I always find it difficult not to feel somewhat guilty when I do (and those around me sometimes don't help the matter by making comments about "what do you mean you sent the kids to day care when you were at home?" But, if I don't take the time to refuel, I will only take it out on my husband and kids in resentful ways which isn't good for anyone. My advice to ALL moms AND DADS -- take some time to get away with friends once a week or once a month and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it. You will be a better parent when you are a refreshed person.
Glad you got some time away.

[MU]

You know what, Lynna. Of all the things my mom has told me, the one thing she says most is that she wishes she had taken more time for herself.

And after doing it, I can see why.

[Lynna]

If I could go back and do it over again, I would spend more time on myself. It would have made me a better mother. That said, I LOVE the way my 29yo and 26yo have turned into creative, interesting, loving people. So I must have done something right.

[Amanda]

It's always important to make time for you. A little time away does everyone some good occasionally.