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September 02, 2009

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Wow, I thought the article I just read about a weight loss surgery in Mexico was interesting but, this just takes the cake. The bottom line is the child is the parents responsibility and if they are letting their kids run rampant that is their problem, it's not anyone else's job to parent someone else's child. Let alone a slap, don't we call that abuse now?

It is cool that we are able to take the business loans moreover, it opens up completely new opportunities.

I am sick of listening to kids scream and watching them misbehave in public. Leave the store! Leave them at home! Also in restaurants they should ask "Children or No Children". I don't want to be around your BRATS while I am spending my hard earned money to enjoy a meal.

you know as i sit here and read some of the comments on this blog it angers me! i have a 6 and almost 2 year old! and let me tell you i do use the "old school" manner of correcting my children! i mean every once in awhile i will try time out but ya know what it dont work! God gave them butts to get spanked when they are out of control! i am not talking about beating my children so i end up on national tv, im talking swatting the behind so they know i mean business! but let me tell those of you that think it is so easy to take a child of any age before id say 10 into WALMART of all place. you're out of your mind if u think that u can look at your child and say one or two sentences and get them to stop crying! my two year old is the worst...she hates the buggy and she wants everthing. she will get yelled at the first two times i correct her i do it in a nice manner because we all know how the world is today, if u smack ur child in public those same people that are looking at u for having a screaming child are the ones that are calling the cops and telling them that you have beat ur child! but then after that i tell them that we are going to go into the bathroom, which is where i wil smack their BUTT!!!! and once they have calmed down then we continue shopping but that doesnt mean that the rest of the time will be without screaming! and to those that say that mother should have left her with a sitter, ya know its not that easy! maybe she cant afford one, maybe she dont have family close by!my children have never or will ever go to daycare! you cant trust people with YOUR children! come on people get a grip! im sure i am younger then alot of you but let me tell u my husband grew up in a home where is father was 60 when he was born and so he grew up with (as he has said) "his dads belt sounding like the lawn mower starting!" and ya know what i have one more thing to say...if people would correct their children like they did before all this "child abuse" came about then we might not have half the problems with the kids being "out of control" that we do! i by no means am condoning child abuse i feel those people should fry!!! that man was lucky he wasnt dealing with me! i have hit a guy for alot less than touching my children! i once told a state patrolman that i would be the one going to jail if someone touched my child because i would shoot them dead! these are my children i gave birth to them i support them i take very good care of them and ya know what no one is allowed to touch them in any manner!!! and ya know if i offended any of u i am not going to apologize for my beliefs because that would be backing down and that is not in my nature!!

You looked beautiful on CNN, Kristen! And I totally agree with your take on this. I am not a mother yet, but I was appalled at this man's actions! I dont care how stressed you are, you should NEVER hit a stranger's child. That is so far past the line! Thanks for your post on this!

I have two beautiful little girls I am trying to raise to become strong, intelligent, compassionate women. When I take them to the store and they are overtired and or emotional I will sense it and try to get them in and out as fast as possible. Hitting them teaches them it's okay to hit each other and that conflict is handled by violence not by empathy. It's definitely a challenging balance to get things done, expect patience from a child during BORING tasks (do you remember shopping trips as a kid?) as well as respecting the people around you when your children are at their limits and overtired... these days we have less support, less money to hire sitters, work more hours and have less time with our kids and they really do get the short end of the stick on all of it because as parents we want very much to be the best parents, spouses, friends, employees and neighbors as possible so we are stretched thin beyond belief.
When I see a parent having a hard time and I try to smile and distract their child for a moment offering some kindness (because you NEVER know what people have going on, death of a family member... loss of their job...or worse)

One final note.... if I were to have seen this man smack that child... I would have knocked him unconscious by chucking every can in reach at his head until they drove me away to jail. I hope he gets to experience a very special "bully" in jail for himself.

Are parents so incapable now that they have to say things like "everyone's children have tantrums once in a while" or "I try to quiet my child if I can"? What do you mean, if you can? They are your child, your toddler. You had better know how to keep them under control or you will probably be visiting them either in prison or watch them while they "Take the Bar" to be a lawyer. Parents should be able to judge whether their kid is ready for a nap, and if their kid is screaming, should be able to silence them with one sentence, two if you are off your game that day. Start taking responsibility for the fact that these are your kids and it is up to you to keep them in line. As far as I am concerned this bastard needs to get a freakin' medal. I hope this is a fad that catches on and people start realizing that their child is in danger if it makes noise. It used to be said "Children should be seen and not heard." I long for those days. I have wanted to do more than slap sometimes when I hear kids yell continuously. People are scary....so you should protect your kid by keeping it quiet in public.

I have 3 kids - ages 33, 24, 18. I had one absolute rule that we all lived by - if you couldn't do it at home, then you couldn't do it anywhere else. Did it always work - no; but for the most part it did. I had a junior high principal tell me that he wished a lot of his parents had that rule. I did not "beat" my kids,but I did let them know that I and their dad made the rules and they would abide by those rules. And guess what, I have 3 wonderful children and one fantastic grandchild. I would never strike another person's child, but there have been times I would wish a parent had better control of their children. I see more and more where the children are ruling the roost and not the parents.

My mom used to threaten to discipline other children (to the parents) if the parent wouldn't, but she never did it. This was usually in church if the kid was old enough to know how to behave.

When I'm around some obnoxious child, however, I walk away. Even if it's mine.

This could have actually happened to me. I have two boys ages 3 and 5 who have Autism. They often have meltdowns when I go shopping. However at times they don't. I try to make sure I do things with them that parents do with their children who don't have a disability. Shame on him for touching someone else child. If this happened to his child or grandchild he would be angry.

I can't believe how many people think that a two-year-old crying means that either the kid is behaving badly or the parent is not doing their job. HELLO, have you ever MET a two-year-old? They cry. I'm more offended by the shoppers who refuse to wear deodorant or insist on clipping my heels with their carts because they have space issues.

I don't agree with what the man did, but I sure won't applaud the mother either. If you can't control your child, then either leave, or don't take them in the first place.

Today we have scorned the people who use old school methods to raise a child. Why?? They actually worked!! Timeouts, yeah right. That work until they are maybe what? 3 or 4 ? I still remember the old mans back of the hand if I went out of line. But today if that were to happen the child would be in foster care, and the father or mother in jail.

Parents need to start taking an ACTIVE role in raising their kids. Passive means are only leading this country down the path of delinquent children.

This incident should have never happened, and wouldn't have happened if the lady would have just left the store, or better yet left the child with a sitter.

Funny, just today, in Target (not a Wal-mart shopper here) when Boy Child was being particularly good (read: mouth full of Honey Nut Cheerios) a woman and her children walked by me and one screamed at the top of his lungs. She said, (firmly) "stop screaming, please" and then apologized to me.

I said, "Been there, done that, and I throw no stones. No worries."

Perhaps a little sympathy for the frazzled mom at the end of her rope with a screaming kiddo is in order? How 'bout we put a little nicey-nice into the world instead of what THAT guy, and the people who applauded him, put out in the world?

Throw no stones.

I am sorry but I don't agree with her actions or his. He had no right to lift a hand in anger to any child let alone one that is not his.
On the other side of the coin where was the mother, really, in all of this? Was she ignoring the child hoping that it would go away? Did she not care about the other people around her? We weren't there so we won't really know and not seeing the situation we must put ourselves at arms length in judging this man.
Personally, I can take 8 children, some with special needs, into Walmart and:
keep track of them
keep the under control
get my shopping done
not upset the customers around me
How? Why? It is simple.
I AM THE PARENT

I would have kicked that guy's @#$!!! Heck, I would have told my kid to kick him in the nuts. How rude.

I don't intervene with other parents and how they deal with it...I, too, usually use empathy...and say something like...I'm glad my kids aren't the only ones who ram carts into people...or whatever. If some kid rams my cart with theirs, I say something like, feel free to push your cart over there, and point...and they get confused like..what, you're not going to yell at me?

I let my kids scream at the store as well. They know that I won't give in, so it stops...usually, I leave them stomping/screaming in another isle...."you may join me when your are done crying." I get looks, but who cares...its 2 minutes out of their lives.

Great job on CNN, great comments. I think you did a fabulous job of keeping the conversation on track and not going too far down the road of the guy -- he's clearly not in his right mind to think it's okay to slap other people's children. If only more people just called for empathy.

Other people's kids I typically try to ignore. I think its pretty obvious this dude was out of line, but I don't tie it to just Walmart. Morons are everywhere. Sure, there tends to be a slightly higher frequency of the toothless who shop there, but I've seen plenty of nicely dressed suburban mothers/fathers beating their kids in Target too. I think people are just plain losing control lately. Stress is taking its toll and when someone hits a snapping point, there is not telling what stupidity will occur.

I saw a mother recently in Home Depot who's toddler was watching a DVD player in the cart while she was slowly walking through the paint aisle. I almost wanted to shake her hand. Why have I never thought of that... I don't know how many grocery or hardware store trips I've had to leave after 5 min.

We try to keep our kids out of our shopping experiences all together but sometimes we all have to go. I remember the first time my oldest had a tantrum in a store. If someone had slapped him or even spoke to me the wrong way I would have been furious. It is NEVER ok to hit a child. I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation but I do know it would not be good.

WTH was this man thinking? Tantrums are going to happen at Wal-mart and everywhere else. You can't hit other ppl's kids and get away with it. Whenever I come across fit-taking kids, I always ignore them and feel sorry for the parents. Sometimes I feel sorry for the child when the parent starts hitting their kids. But still I ignore.
Luckily my kids are 5 & 8 now and we are totally out of that stage.

Pissed I miss you on CNN. I'm sure you TiVo'd it, so please post somewhere.

That said, the thing that frustrates me most about this situation is that CNN is covering it. That's what happens when you have to feed the 24/7 news machine. Sensationalism over hard news.

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

It's been 15 years, but I still remember clearly the first huge, all-out, screaming fit my oldest had at the grocery store. I left my cart and took her out to a bench to get her under control and calm her down enough to hopefully go back in and finish shopping. It was horrible. But what I'll never forget is the older woman who walked by and said, "I know this is hard. But you're doing the right thing. Hang in there. It pays off in the end." That act of kindness and reinforcement of my parenting still resonates with me today. As a result, I try to send looks of sympathy and support rather than annoyance at parents experiencing the same thing. And I cannot even fathom how anyone would support the actions taken by this man. He's obviously disturbed in some way as are the people who have come to his defense.

I'm in awe of the people who seem to think that this monster was right to hit that 2 year old. Do they not realize that they were children at one point too? They certainly didn't pop out as crotchety middle-agers. They must also think that their poop smells like roses, and they absolutely never threw a tantrum. I bet their mothers would say differently.


If a stranger dare lay hands on one of my children, I too would have been arrested right behind him for kicking his ass.

I was lucky, I mastered 'The Look' and usually when the kids acted up in public that is all that it took. When 'The Look' didn't work, I would get nose to nose with them, grit my teeth and whisper in a quiet but deadly whisper "Don't make me take you out"

As far as a two year old goes.. They don't call it the Terrible Twos for nothing.. That child was doing what all 2 years old do, and under NO TERMS should that baby have been hit BY ANYONE!!!

Just typing this makes me want to go bitch slap that asshole. Maybe his jail cell mate will do it for me.

I don't have kids however if I witnessed a stranger hitting someone else's kid I would be seeing RED - hell I'm seeing RED NOW.

Good thing I wasn't there I'd be sitting in a jail cell too for assaulting HIM and beating the crap out of him.

He should be thanking his lucky stars he is still alive.

I hope the women finds herself an attorney sues Walmart and the BULLY.

It's disturbing today that adults can no longer control themselves and have their own temper tantrums because there isn't any "peace in quiet" in a PUBLIC PLACE!!!

So the world should bow down to you? Get real - Go home and live a life of a monk - don't go out, don't ever step foot in a public place and you will have a lonely life IN PEACE.

If he has children they should take them away. If he can assault a child in public imagine what he does to his own in private.

I've never been to Walmart and *not* seen someone pitch a fit. It's a Walmart.

If I were that mother I would have ripped his arm off and beaten it with him without thinking. As a stranger though, I have to wonder if the man was suffering from a stroke or was senile. I'd like to believe that that was the reason because I can't imagine any other valid one for something so utterly uncalled for.

I have cussed people out for much much less for sure! The mother hen would come out fighting and there would be no end. Some of my kids are grown, does that change things, heck no I still come out charging and think later.

Wowsa. Let me tell you, someone physically assaults my kid they are taking their lives into their own hands. By the time my 3 1/2 yo son is that melty, I'm just about as melty, and could imagine myself turning all mama-bear on his ass.

Now, this level of meltiness rarely happens. At least not in stores, anymore.

I'm that awful, mean mom who is fully willing to leave a grocery cart FULL and haul my screaming child out of the grocery store, and we don't go back that day. This is also the consequence for running wild in the grocery store with the kid-sized carts - there's no excuse for running into things. Period. He also knows that he doesn't get a Cameron-sized cart the next time.

We needed food for supper? Enh, I've got something for sure in the freezer or fridge that'll do. It won't kill us to have oatmeal for supper (actually, that's a treat for him, so I usually threaten salad with no dressing because we're all out, and his least-favourite crackers), and nothing but water to drink.

Now, I'm not totally irresponsible - I'll let a grocery store employee know on my way out that I left the cart in aisle whatever, with frozen items in it, and apologise.

I've only had to leave a grocery store a couple of times, and a toy store once. He knows it's not an empty threat. What also helps is that I'll ensure there's something in the cart that he REALLY wants. Yogurt he chose, fruit leather, or pizza for supper.

Would I say something if someone else's kid was acting up? If it's just screaming or meltdown, of course not. I've been there. I'm far more likely to offer the parent a word or smile of encouragement! If the kid is out of control and his/her behaviour is threatening me or my child (running around with carts, banging into things) then I'd say something.

It ''strikes'' me as more than little odd that some of the same people commenting here that this man committed assault and/or child abuse (and without a doubt, HE DID) are the same people who talk about/blog about spanking their kids and choke on their own indignation when anyone points out that maybe, possibly hitting kids of any age isn't the best idea.

So, you hit your kids, it's all good. Someone else hits your kids, it's assault or abuse. Duly noted.

(Obviously this applies to only a small minority of people commenting, in case that isn't evident.) But if we could all agree that hitting is never the answer, that would be swell.

Seriously? The fact that anyone can agree with what this man did makes me ILL. You want to spank your kid? Spank away. You slap my child in the face? I'll rip your arms off and beat you with them. It's assualt. Plain and simple. You don't have to like kids or their screaming but seriously. If I slapped everyone who did something that bugged me, my hands would be black and blue. It's just WRONG. We teach our kids to "use their words". Even my 15 month old knows hitting is wrong. And he still craps his pants. I'm just saying...

Those in any way defending this d-bag's actions are advocating child abuse. That's messed up. You slap my kid you'll pull back a stump where your hand used to be.

Kids are kids, not dolls. Kids act up sometimes. If tantrums bother people those people should keep their knees kissing.

Also, Walmart sucks.

"I am a leaver. I've left full grocery baskets in stores. I've left ice cream to melt. What I know is that there is always a happy meal and a bottle of water somewhere, and the world won't end if the store has to wait."

I used to work in retail, and I must say thank you for doing that, as well.

We didn't have to clean that up or anything...

I do not believe in rewarding a child who throws a temper tantrum in public. Therefore I ignore their poor behavior if I still have things I need to do at right then, or if I have the time to do it later I immediately remove my child, telling them they 'must be tired and need a nap' and then go home a put them to bed. I have walked away from my child who was throwing a tantrum and when checking back to make sure they were ok have said to people who were gawking at my daughter, 'Her mother ought to do something with her' and then walked away again until she stopped screaming. Amazingly it worked and she learned that screaming was not going to get her what she wanted. I have never heard of someone else slapping another person's child. I think I might be tempted to charge them with assault. I have spoken sharply to other people's children in my "principal voice" which has been quite effective if not always appreciated by the parents.

looking at that man's mug shot he strikes me as that mean old man that lives at the bottom of the hill who used to scream at us god-damn kids when i was little. i am appalled by the story, honestly.
having said that i'm like you when my kids were little if they acted up and scream i would leave. here under the big top, shopping, errands or eating out was a privilege for my smaller children. my opinion was/is ignoring/threatening/bribing/rewarding doesnt stop the behavior nor teach our kids that there is a certain level of deportment expected in polite society (yes, even Walmart); but if i abruptly removed them from the environment and headed home they soon realized the expectation and regarded it as a fun privilege. i could care less what others thought. what i was concerned with was my children. if they were acting up clearly it was too stressful, overwhelming a situation for them and that included my child with special medical and developmental needs. now why would i purposely torture them that way? of course this meant i was often shopping later at night when i was dog tired because i had to wait for hubs or the neighbor across the way to sit with my kids. frankly, that became my alone time because we all know that mommies dont get to be alone in the bathroom.
now would i say something to another parent who handles it their way? no...but i do tend to blog bout it later. ;)

NEVER. Never ever ever. The MOST I would do is go up to the parent, pat them on the back, smile and say, "Yup, I remember that." Because no one likes their kid acting up. No one wants that, and we all feel three inches tall when it happens. Maybe if that man had just offered the parent some help, or a knowing wink, the situation would have been different.

I am a leaver. I've left full grocery baskets in stores. I've left ice cream to melt. What I know is that there is always a happy meal and a bottle of water somewhere, and the world won't end if the store has to wait.

The only time I'd say anything to anyone about their child's behavior is if 1) the kid was directly harming or affecting my own kid or 2) the kid was doing something illegal.

Other than those two things, none of my business. Just because it's a public place does not entitle me to a certain experience. I'm the only one in control of that.

First off, WOW. Dude is nuts and deserves to be punished with the full extent of the law.

Secondly, what's with all the Wal-Mart lovers? Wal-Mart and similar stores are ruining our country (Canada) and yours, America. All this shit they bring in from China and other countries with little to no regard for human rights, it's harming our kids, our health, our industries and our livelihoods. Keep shopping there and watch our economy continue to crash. All in the pursuit of saving the almighty dollar.
BUY Canadian. BUY American.
I am so against Walmart and similar places - this crap is ruining our lives. It's getting to the point where I have to really search to find things made here in North America and that makes me very sad and scared. You should be scared too.
Sorry Kristen - totally went off topic.

I'm an ignorer. Been too "been there done that" to play guessing games as to whether its a bratty child or an overtired one to care if there's a difference if a child is crying in a store.

But I *WILL* ask to be moved to another table if someone nearby in a restaurant lets their child climb over the backs of the booth or run circles around the table. LOUDLY.

John, I'm not sure why you assume everybody participating in this debate is against smoking in bars, and I don't think it's the best analogy, but whatever. I'll just say I agree with this: "Just give up one place, please? Or maybe we could all live in freedom and deal with all annoyances?"

Absolutely. I deal with a lot of annoyances in public: smelly people, obnoxious cell-phone talkers, line-cutters, rowdy children, and sometimes the smell of cigarette smoke wafting past my nose.

I've never once felt the urge to assault somebody because of it.

If someone can not say they've ever been there done that then they have to be a very rare exception. How I react during break downs (and I have 4 kids so I witness a lot) depends on the situation. Most often I try to high tail it out of the location- for my sake and others around me. There are of course times that my child is freaking out WHILE I AM PAYING and so what am I going to do? My stuff's half bagged. I do what I can. Of course I try to avoid being in the situation in the first place and go when I can without the kids, but there are times you just have to *gasp* take your children with you some places and hope for the best. I've been near tears, I've bribed, disciplined, distracted, nursed, done whatever needed to make the best of it for everyone. (child included.)

No matter how that kid was parented, slapping is never acceptable.

Steph

For the record, I wasn't singling out Walmart. I was making the point that it's a bustling (grocery) store filled with people (including children, who will inevitably make annoying sounds of some sort sometimes), not a Zen Hangout or Resort. And yes, it's likely to happen anywhere like that.

I think that we should probably move on from the idea that Walmart is naturally the 'kind of place' where this sort of thing would happen. Not here to defend Walmart, by any means, but this could just as easily have happened in a Target, a Macy's, or on a public street. It's just a store, for crying out loud - it's not a crack den.

"All these people defending this creep will be eating their words if they ever have a kid."

Vasectomy. So do I have free reign to mock?

"If you don't want to hear a pissed off toddler, then move on. Get your shit and get out of the store!"

Replace pissed off toddler with secondhand smoke, and does that mean I can smoke in a bar again? Where it's voluntary and 18 and older to get in with other like minded people? Stress is a killer, too, you know.

I think if nanny-staters are going to keep me from smoking in a bar, then by the same logic, (and I'm compromising) that parents shouldn't be allowed to bring children on, say, airplanes?

Just give up one place, please? Or maybe we could all live in freedom and deal with all annoyances?

Ridiculous. You don't hit people, especially children, just because they're annoying.

Otherwise, I'd be hitting so many people every time I left the house that my wrists would be broken by now.

We're not talking about a Spa or a Resort here. Come ON. It's a FUCKING WALMART. If you're shopping there, do your shopping and move on. Baby crying? Get over it already. There's a crapload of other people making noise, not to mention the intercom system. Get your stuff, go home and mind your own damn business. Babies cry and have tantrums. That anyone has even mentioned "bad parenting" is moronic. Are we to believe that only "bad parents" have children that have tantrums? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

"Give up the Babies," John? Too bad your mother didn't hold that near and dear to her heart. Idiotic, truly.

That anyone is acting like the psycho's actions are justified disgusts me deeply.

I've been there with the screaming kid. Kids, especially toddlers are unpredictable. Yeah, I've continued on with my shopping, because sometimes it's the only thing I can do. I try and quiet them if I can; bribe or threaten when it will work. I leave when I can, always if I'm in a restaurant or at a park. But a huge grocery store? Um, more than likely I'd keep shopping and hurry to finish while appearing to ignore my kid, which generally lessens the screaming time. I'm sorry but there are much worse things than listening to a screaming child in a store.

I think it's horrible that anyone finds this okay. If I slapped my own child in public (which I never have, nor would slap them at all) someone would call social services on my ass. But people really think that anyone should be able to slap someone else's child? That's just f'ed up.

@Teri - Breed, really? You are going to go there? Hi, the title of this blog is Motherhood Uncensored. It's written by, you guessed it, a mother. Why are you here if you think we are all breeders who need to close our legs? It's obvious by your attitude that you weren't raised well. But that doesn't mean smacking someone else's kid is okay. Ever.

I don't expect every parent to leave just because of a meltdown. If I left when my son was having one it would be a reward- he wants to leave that's why he is acting up.

I should say in Wal-mart I'm not leaving over that in a nice restaurant my rules are considerably different, a doggy bag would be following us out the door after any acting up.

I find a quiet corner, we talk, he calms, and we continue.

I don't understand why people are so intolerant of kids. They are learning how to behave, it takes time. we were all 2 once , people need to chill.

All these people defending this creep will be eating their words if they ever have a kid. Sometimes I ignore my son's whining tantrums because otherwise it will escalate. It's not that I'm ignoring the problem altogether, it's that doing what I'm doing works. What this man did in no way falls under the definition of corporal punishment - this was assault, plain and simple. If I were that mother I'd have probably been charged along with him, because he certainly would not be walking out of the store intact, if you know what I mean.

Honestly, I barely notice when other people's kids are having meltdowns in stores. I have enough to worry about, trying to get through a big-box nightmare without mindlessly spending all the cash in my bank account AND while keeping my own children--who are usually well-behaved but have their moments, as do all kids--in check. If mine are really losing it, I will sometimes leave, but like you said, Kristen, it's not always feasible. So I make it as fast as I can, be as conscientious as I can, and make it to the car as fast as I can, where I can have my own quiet breakdown over the steering wheel.

I'm just...amazed that some people think this man's actions were okay. So amazed that I can't help but think their comments must be ironic or satiric or whatever word you use when people are saying the opposite of what they really, as normal human beings, would believe.

I can't believe there are actually people in this comment section defending this insane person's actions.

He assaulted a two-year old.

Yes, kids can be loud pains in the asses. Mine included. I've witnessed behavior that should have withered my ovaries and uterus into little wrinkled raisins. Doesn't give anyone a right to haul off on a kid. A stranger slapped this woman's child. And a two-year old at that. Find me a two-year old that is always quiet and accommodating.

If some asshole put his hands on my kid, I'd be bashing him in the head with whatever happened to be convenient.

Assault. Plain and simple.

I only have this to say to those who have commented that they'd have done the same or don't bring your kids in public or crap of that sort... you were a child once too. Kids are going to have tantrums, it's inevitable. And they have an uncanny knack of timing them at the most inappropriate moments. But, to say that walking around a store with a screaming child is disrespectful or lacking common decency... HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT TEENAGERS WEAR THESE DAYS? With their asses hanging out of their jeans and their underpants showing? THAT is disrespectful and lacking common decency. Have you encountered the rudeness of most teenagers while running amok in the mall or sitting at a table full of other teens on their 'Friday night out' in a restaurant? The language? The lack of manners and respect?

If you don't want to hear a pissed off toddler, then move on. Get your shit and get out of the store! Because Moms have just as much a right to be there as you do- and Wal Mart is NOT the freakin spa. It's GOING to be noisy for crying out loud!!!

Unbelievable, people. The child is TWO. It's hard to even use the words "behaving" and "discipline" seriously in regards to a 2-year-old, who is little more than a baby.

If "driven over the brink" you would have slapped that child? Holy cow. That's not discipline, that's assault and battery.

"Deal with the child in a teaching manner"?! Hah! You clearly do not have a 2-year-old.

Yes, we all know the best thing to do is leave, but that's not always possible, and, guess what, it takes some time to actually reach the exits.

I love all the WalMart fans who have made sure to come here to give the thumbs up to a man illegally assaulting a toddler.

They sure do represent their favorite store well. In fact, I'd bet WalMart is just praying they'll continue speaking up on WalMart's behalf.

Stress is rapidly becoming known as the #1 killer, leading to all kinds of diseases, especially heart disease.

PARENTS: Remember that every time your lovable demon shrieks in public, you are passing on stress like secondhand smoke, aiding in the deterioration of your and our health. It's just as annoying as smoke, and just as dangerous.

Fight for a stress free, smoke-free society, Give up the Babies.

Kristen, you looked smoking!!!

After you get past the shock that someone slapped a child that wasn't theirs and you realize he had spoke to the mother several times, you know exactly what he was going through. I have felt "Make it stop" also, but if driven over the brink, I would have slapped her. We have ALL set in a restaurant and in stores where the parents act TOTALLY oblivious to the SCREECHING CHILD that just won't stop! If an adult was screaming like that they would be asked to leave and I feel that is exactly what the parent should do with their child. This is not their home, it is PUBLIC and people should be considerate of others. Parents need to be parents and you have to stop what you are doing, pay attention to them. Deal with the child in a teaching manner, so they will know that this behavior is unacceptable, or it will continue and get worse.

I certainly don't agree with slapping, but people's kids crying in public? For fuck sakes, get them a baby sitter if they can't behave! I want to enjoy my time out without listening to people's kids scream!

"THUMBS UP" to the man who slapped the "MELTDOWN" kid! But I really think the mother should have been slapped as well for NOT having the "COMMON DECENCY" and "RESPECT" for others to leave the store immdeiately! I don't know of anything that is more irritating than trying to shop (god knows it is stressful enough trying to just make ends meet this day and time without having a MORONIC mother with a crying TWIT with her! It should happen more often! MAYBE THEN THESE MOTHERS (WHO SHOULD KEEP THEIR LEGS CLAMPED TOGETHER AND NOT BREED) WILL FINALLY GET THE MESSAGE!!! respect everyone!!!!!!

Holy cow! While I have wanted to collar a toddler or two or three, I never would think of it, let alone do it.
I just saw the picture of the alleged slapper - Yikes, he is actually twitching. I must confess if he had even raised his hand at my children when young, or my grand children now, this would have been a totally different story.

I so empathize with new Moms, having never recovered from the antics of my own. Well I am able to laugh about it NOW. 40 yrs later.

When I see a Mom in the grocery/department store line I always offer her my place. Kids melt down and it is usually spontaneous combustion so the sooner she can get out of there the better for everyone.

Everyone of us have been there and compassion and charity is the key. Help her put the groceries on the belt anything that will allow her to feel that no one is judging her or her kids behavior.

Sometimes, if the child isn't too far gone, a smile, a gesture a kind word helps.

Peaceful journey to all of you new and veteran Moms - I am so thankful to have crossed-over to the other side - Grandparent Heaven and may I add my grandchildren NEVAH do wrong. Amazing considering who their parents are...LOL

My wife and I have both been in the same situation as the man who slapped the child. While we would never slap another child, (though our children - grown - HAVE been slapped by us during act-ups), it is SO HARD to not say anything - at best. We both come from up-bringings where "spare the rod and spoil the child" was the norm, and don't see a "smack on the ass" as a "tune-up" as child abuse. We both got smacked when we acted up and neither of us became mass murderers or purveyors of domestic violence. I guess what we feel the bottom line is here is that limits and ideas have changed since we were kids and the outcome of young citizens has greatly changed since then - and not for the better! (opinion)

It will not be my child doing that.

Vasectomy for this guy.

So when you see a guy walking by a screaming child with a smile on his face, nodding his head with little stress on his way to buy something for himself and his wife, smiling at your life, that will be me.

I am totally amazed at the way the Kristin expects the public to endure the tempter tantrums, much less help out. How dare you!! There is no way others should have to endure that bad behavior. If you can't keep you kid under control, you should leave. Bad parenting should not disrupt my day. Parental deafness is no excuse for letting bad behavior rule.

I don't say anything and I make sure not to gawk because I know what it's like to be the mom with the screaming kid in the store.

No way would that man have gotten the chance to hit my daughter more than once. I'd have scratched his damn eyes out.

When I see crying children in stores, I give the mother/father a sympathy look, nod towards my own and just smile and tell them we've all been there.

The only time that I would step in is if the parent was putting there child in danger (ie. child running away & parent not seeing). If a child were out of control for an unreasonable amount of time, I might say something to the parent. But under no circumstance would I slap someone else's child. That is just in sane.

I had a son with very severe Cerebral Palsy. For the first year of his life, he had on average 12-15 seizures a day. He would scream and throw his limbs straight out for about 10 minutes each time. When I had to go to the store with him and his older brother (18m older), people were forever staring or worse, touching him during these events. I often look back and tell people, "It depended on my mood for the day. Somedays I would say he was teething and they would smile and go away. Other days I would tell them he's having a seizure...could you leave us be!" I can't tell you how fast people would run away when I told them that. I often felt it was my responsibility to give people a reality check sometimes. People tend to see what they want to see and forget that life isn't always as clear as they may think it is.

I'd break his back. Period. I'll be tuning in. Kick ass.

Horrific. Last month, we took a 5 hour flight sitting across the aisle from a baby that screeched at the top of its lungs every two minutes. For five hours. Five long painful hours. Although I was in pain and annoyed, I felt bad for the mom since it wasn't like she could leave. There were several people that just went off on this poor woman, calling over the flight attendants and everything. While I understood their frustration (it really was that bad), it was just wrong to attack her. I offered her some of my daughter's toys to help distract the baby and the gratitude in her eyes almost made me cry. I walked away thinking she had it worse than me. Five hours of my life, but every hour of her life. But here's the kicker. That same screaming banshee baby was on our return flight as well. Oh yeah, we are just that lucky. Make that ten hours of my life!

I don't judge, I offer help and sympathy. I did that BEFORE I even had a kid. I know that it happens, even to the best parent and the best kid. What he did just makes me see red. I'm so mad I could spit. I'll say it over and over again, but that dude would be missing body parts if it were me. Ones essential to his manhood.
We usually go for distraction, then removal if it is a choice. Places like that though, if I am nearly done, I just get through it. Seriously, Walmart is not the place to freak out about a kid screaming. I'd like to scream every time I have no choice but to go there.

I can't believe he got away with it that many times. I would have slugged him back! Not a good example for my child, I know.

And you & that fab new Shredded look will be great on CNN! Actually, the mom blogosphere should get it's own show. Larry King is going to retire soon anyway, right? ;)

Yeah, my older son has autism and SPD. While he normally just stims (and stims and stims!) in a shopping cart, we do get people staring when he's just overloaded and starts to freak out. Normally we can handle that by holding him... but he's 4 now, and there have been comments made about "not putting up with that garbage and giving in."

Yeah, shut the hell up stupid man. You never know. You never know.

Yesterday at the peds office, an 11 year old boy was running, trying to get away from his parents so he wouldn't have to go into the building. He tripped and fell into holly bushes, so he was also scratched and bleeding. Tim and I looked at each other, and KNEW he was autistic. Knew it. I worry we'll get to that stage, where we can no longer physically restrain him. The kid had to get a tetanus shot for school. It had to be done. And there were all these parents in the waiting area judging. It sucked for everyone.

It's WALMART for heaven's sake - the only time in my life I could justify saying anything about a screaming kid was when my husband I were in a very nice restaurant paying way too much money and felt like everyone else wanted to say something as well.

I've worked in retail for over 15 years and I've been on both ends of the screaming child scenario. My son has Aspergers and SPD and ODD. The trifecta of fun. Not. I talk to him the whole time he's freaking out (though it happens less and less now, thank goodness). I've found that talking to him as it's happening helps calm him and it shows that I'm not ignoring him. I have been known to just shake my head yes or no and not speak to him for fear of swearing like a sailor loudly. I know others judge, it hurts, the looks you get. I've learned to take it on the chin. He's my son, not theirs. He's blessed us in our lives, not them.

As a retail employee, I've always been the type to seek out the pissed off kid. Call me crazy but I feel so bad for the parent that I want to help. I know the kids are sometimes being brats but, like it was said above, the kid could have other things going on. I like to come up and ask the parent if they were finding everything ok and judging by their response, I start talking to the kids. I say that crying makes me sad and you don't want to see me sad. The ugly cry comes out and no one needs to see that. It usually makes them laugh. Honestly? I think I've gotten two dirty looks from parents and hundreds of thank yous from the others.

Wow, time to shut up here! Long story short, give the knowing look, try to make light of it with mom or just walk away and come back later.

Wow. I can't even imagine this happening! I'm stunned. I have no idea how I would react if someone touched (let alone smacked) my child, but I have a feeling my self-defense moves would kick in, and that person would regret it. They'd know where to find him, because he'd be lying on the floor.

My 3yo daughter has acted out in public in the past (whose hasn't!?), and we leave. She gets one warning, and if she does it again, we leave the store. Period. I'm pretty good at the scoop and carry while bolting for the door, so usually not many people are the wiser.

Luckily, she's good about 97% of the time. (Then again, come to think of it, she's never been in a Wal-Mart...) ;) Anyway, She HATES leaving the store, so the threat of leaving usually works. But still...if ANYONE laid a hand on her... wow. Just wow.

a parent not doing anyting is likely grinding their teeth and developing a migraine. Well, me anyway. With only one, and both my husband and my adult daughter in the house, I can usually manage to avoid having to take my son along when he needs to NOT be in public. So, I usually get to play the serene mom with the adorable, smiley tot. Which is a nice change from the years when my daughters were constantly setting each other off and I was a single parent with no escape plan.

my conundrum the other day was my 26 month old son had been given the toy, the treat, the Tonka Toy Tow Truck! while we were still in the store. He was so happy! Until he noticed the tag. The tag was not desired. He wailed, he screamed, he begged, "mommy, off!" while I tried to find the other items on my list.

I know there were judgers thinking the child shouldn't get a treat for screaming that loud and long. But, it was the treat that set it off. And you can't remove the tag before you pay! As I kept gently telling him, to no avail. It was the longest 15 minutes!

Anyway, 'tow cruck' is one of his most beloved toys, so I count it as worth it.

Ok, did you see that dude's mugshot? OMG scary! The kid probably started screaming the second she saw him.

When I'm out somewhere & I witness a child having a meltdown, my first reaction is always, "oh thank God that isn't my kid this time." Because next time, it probably WILL be my kid. So no, I don't judge. And I hope they don't judge me.

I am picking my jaw up off the floor after reading that story. Just - holy fucking hell! If someone did that to my kid I would be the one ending up in jail. Hooray for the bystander who held the asshole until security arrived. I see that they are charging him with a felony. If there is any justice he will serve some prison time because child abusers are not treated too well in the pen.

I think my horror is a given. I think the removal of the mans balls is totally appropriate.

I love the comment from Japan because my immediate reaction was "only in america" where we have this almost Children Should Be Seen culture.

I have a 21 month old and I hate melt downs. I do what I can to prevent them- avoid hunger, exhaustion, too many errands at once, etc but sometimes(er, often...) it just happens. No, at that age Im not going to "discipline" a meltdown but I will make an effort to soothe it and not just for everyone else's sake but for hers and mine. I dont like her being that upset! But there are plenty of times when I still need to get food for dinner and she just cant be soothed and I need to stand in line at the whole foods butcher and wait with her screaming and me probably looking like Im not doing anything about it.

And to be honest...I think that Situation is important here. An airplane or restaurant? Im going to go to GREAT efforts to fix it or leave or do whatever- but a grocery store, target, etc- its just life in public and people need to deal with it.

This guy should be prosecuted for assualt and child abuse.

While I agree that this guy's actions are completely unjustified, I wonder what ever happened to a little bit of physical disciplining?
My Grandmother has a rule that if they're in her house, she has the right to spank. I've seen her do it a few times to my younger cousins and my older cousin's kids and it's like a miracle attitude adjustment. At first they might whimper or cry a little, but after a few minutes they straighten right up and act like well-behaved children the rest of the time they're there.
Most of the time all it takes is a little pat on the butt like what football players give each other...
That doesn't compare in the least to the discipline my stepdad got when he was a kid. If you want to read about that, I just posted a blog yesterday. Don't say I didn't warn you though, if you're anti-spanking, you'll have conniptions over this.

HELLS NO! I would have slapped that man back if it were my child!

I'm with you - my son misbehaving = removal from public place, whenever possible. And, yup, I threaten and bribe.

But I try to avoid all of that in the first place by setting our expectations (both his and mine) for the day:

1. We are going to the store. You will behave - no whining, no throwing a tantrum.

2. No, you aren't getting a treat today/yes, you are getting a treat today.

3. If you behave well, we can stop at the playground on the way home/go to the pool after we put away groceries, etc.

My husband says it isn't right to slap ANY 2-year-old, even your own.

Would I chastise someone else's child? Nope.

I always offer a sympathetic "been there, done that" smile.

Unless the child is behaving like an utter animal and it is consistent (like a little shithead who is in the same Taekwondo class as my son).

Then I send telepathic mommy messages to the Master, asking him to catch the kid acting like a shithead. He caught him yesterday. He made him do 10 push-ups.

I couldn't care less what people thought when my child threw a fit in the store. They've either been there so they understand or they have no kids and they're disqualified from judging me.
If you have kids, there will be altercations.
I've never slapped my own kid and I'll be damned if someone else would have the right to.

It goes beyond judging someone's parenting. To me, it's just a fundamental disrespect for the flora and fauna of the world outside your living room.

See, the thing about going out in public is you risk interacting with the public. So if jerky mr assholepants doesn't want to deal with the public (children, crazies, grumpy cashiers, those annoying loudspeakers that announce calls on extension 201 every three minutes) he should stay home and order online.

I mean some days, man, I could just cuff the jerk who revs his motorcycle when he drives by me walking my sleeping baby around in a stroller. BUT I DON'T.

I don't care who you are or what you think your rights are in a public place. You do not hit people, regardless of how annoying you think they are.

I worked at Wal-Mart for SEVEN years. Yes, you read that right. SEVEN. And I worked in the toy department for about 2 of those years. Sure, kids in the store are bound to act up. Sometimes they do it BECAUSE it makes their parents uncomfortable. There are the parents who drop their kids off at the toy department so that they can shop, as if it is some sort of child care center. Those are the ones that always peeved me because I'd have to follow the kids around picking up after them and making sure some stranger didn't nab them because, well, I just wouldn't have been able to live with myself if something like that had happened.

But never once have I told a parent my opinion on what they should do about their kids. THAT is not my place.

I'm not a mom yet, but when I see a parent with a kid who is totally losing their shit in public, I always wish I had some way to effectively convey to that parent my feelings of understanding, support, and non-irritated-ness. So, my policy tends to be a friendly smile, or to ignore it, so that the parent feels like they have at least one less person giving them the evil eye.

First off, all I can say that if any person grabbed my child and began slapping him, all HELL would have broken loose in that store. Think Mama Bear completely losing her shit because whoa, NOBODY touches my child. Not even now, when he's 13 and bigger than I am. That is assault, plain and simple.

Actually once when Jake was 2 and mid tantrum, a woman shoved her face right in his and began talking sternly to him. He was flailing wildly and clocked her across the face. She was horrified! I told her that if she was going to do something so utterly STUPID then she deserved it.

My kid was super difficult to shop with, because he had undiagnosed dyspraxia and sensory sensitivities. Walmart = complete sensory overload in 4 minutes flat, but I couldn't always leave him at home. He looks absolutely normal so I got bashed with the judgment stick OFTEN.

Before wielding the judgment stick at the parent, consider that a lot of kids have invisible disabilities and the parent is likely pulling their hair out too.


About the only thing I would ever do is ask the parent if they needed any help. Aside from that, just move to a different aisle?

Dude. I didn't even read the story. GRAH.

I have said stuff to older kids on baby play-ground equipment and stuff like that. I'm always nice, though, b/c teenagers will follow you home and key your cars and shit.

I don't think I'd ever judge and/or say something to a harried mom who had a screaming kid. I admire those who can just continue on and not look like they want to DIE, which is what I imagine _I_ look like when my kid flips her shit out in public.

I'm no fan of Walmart, but their jerky customer isn't their fault. Or was it a worker? I didn't read the story...

I never hit other people's kids. Offer them duct tape, yes. Hit, no. (Oh good gosh I'm joking.)

It's assault, pure and simple. He should be charged with abuse of a minor, assault, whatever. AND PROSECUTED.

It's never acceptable to lay a hand on ANY child in anger - regardless of whether it's your child or anyone else's.

And I'd be hard-pressed to believe that slapping the kid made the child QUIET.

Ass.

I got sick to my stomach when I read about that guy slapping someone else's kid. Absolutely sick to my stomach.

I had a woman once tell me at a restaurant that my kid needed a slap on the ass. I politely told her that she needed a dick in her mouth. Not the nicest thing for me to say, but it sure shut her up. However, no one has ever slapped my kid, nor will they ever. I'd gladly go to jail for beating the shit out of them.

FOUR OR FIVE TIMES! He hit that baby four or five times! What a monster.

Hey, you know what doesn't shut anyone up? Physical assault, that's what.

Also, I have to laugh at the comment about parents who "aren't doing anything to quiet the kid." When the kid's two, you run out of viable options very, very quickly and you're down to 1. Get the hell out or 2. Ignore it while you race through your shopping and get the hell out.

I find this story absolutely shocking. I think most parents do everything they can to prevent their children acting up in public and when it does happen, a little empathy goes a long way.

I avoid unnecessary environments--like restaurants--with my daughter as she has autism and her behaviour can be a little unpredictable and extreme. In restaurants I figure people are going with the expectation of relaxing to enjoy a meal, I think it's reasonable expectation and respect that.

However, grocery shopping is a must and I don't always have someone to watch her while I go by myself. I *do* make sure to have snacks and toys and when she was younger I could wear her. I also attempt to take her when I know she's not hungry, tired or otherwise unwell. This goes a long way toward preventing outbursts but even still, we've had some doozies.

If I can, I'll leave--I've walked away from baskets full of groceries--but there's been the odd time I've done my best to comfort my daughter and speed through with the bare necessities despite her behaviour... Being that the experience is clearly unpleasant for my daughter and for me as well-- I would not appreciate unsolicited scolding, never mind physical assault. Yeah, that guy would not have gotten away with what he did unscathed, had he tried that with my child...

i'm just shocked. shocked and dismayed. it's vastly different here in japan, where children are indulged in public most of the time. often, when one of my children are having a fit, i get lots of 'oh, how cute!' or, 'such a healthy child!' and rarely get evil looks or comments. in fact, the other day i was 'told off' by an older man for having my youngest (who is one) in a shopping cart--he thought my son needed to explore the grocery store! (uh, thanks for the parenting advice, buddy, but with three very young children i need at least one in a cart to save *my* sanity!)

i wouldn't say anything to someone. i've been there, many times. if possible, i just pick up and leave as soon as possible. but it's also a learning opportunity for the child: your screaming and carrying-on is disturbing others. this is something my three-year-old is starting to 'get'. if you keep them home all the time, then they (will probably) have difficulty learning how to behave in public. and if you have no form of childcare (like me) then you have to go out, anyway.

When my kids where younger, I would not have tolerated a stranger correcting my child, much less laying hands on them in anger. I probably would have been arrested and he would have been hospitalized. My kids are older now (16 & 9, OMG!)and I find my tolerance for crying babies in public places is fading. I wish that the parents with the screaming toddler would do something to help keep him/her occupied or take him outside until their food is served. My meal was ruined because of their lack of courtesy. There has to be a balance. In small places, the parents should be courteous to other patrons. At places like Wal-Mart, it is a big enough place for me to avoid the chaos. It is not like I am there for a relaxing stroll!
Just my $.02.

That dude just looks pissed off. I think if he hadn't been in Walmart slapping toddlers, he would have been standing on his porch yelling at the kids to get off his lawn.

Seriously, though; should we all suffer because someone's kid is learning psychological manipulation techniques and wants to test them out at the supermarket. I don't go there for the spa atmosphere, but I'd like to be able to hear myself think.

If somebody's two-year old is next to me trying to do an imitation of feedback at a Metallica concert, why should I have to walk away. I may be comparing the labels on potted meat. That takes time and concentration. Why shouldn't it be the parent's responsibility to take the kid somewhere else until they learn some restraint? We're both paying customers, and I'm not the one causing all the commotion.

I'm patient with other people's kids. I really am. I understand that not everyone has the luxury of someone to keep their kids while they run errands. My mom didn't. I only get peeved when it's obvious that the parent isn't doing anything to curtail the tantrum. "Let them cry it out" may be a valid technique for home, but if you're in public then your kid's right to channel Janis Joplin ends where my right not to have a migraine begins.

Unless the child directly affected me and my children, no I wouldn't say anything. I think saying that the child is 2 just explains it all about the child's behavior. Having a 2yo is like living with Sybil. You never know what personality you'll get from one moment to the next. There are times when I've wanted to slap a few parents though.

My three youngest are 7, 5 and 3. Meltdowns are just about guaranteed when shopping for anything more than milk and bread. I do a lot of ignoring and a little cajoling and bribing (b/c yeah, when your husband is gone 20-25 days a month, just turning around and going home, is not an option).

The only time I have ever said anything to the parent of a child mid-meltdown is when the child is doing something potentially injurious to themselves or my kids (like say running wild and smacking random kids, yes, it happened and no, not at Wal-Mart) or when the parent appears to be really super close to the edge. Just the offer of help and empathy can go a long way to soothing frayed nerves. Or at least it has for mine when the same has been offered to me.

I would absolutely never interfere in any way with parenting in public, unless the child were being blatantly abused or the child actually touched me or my kids.

Kids are going to be kids and their boundaries in public are largely based on their ages and parents' discipline or lack thereof. We may disagree, and believe me, I do A LOT, but it's none of our business. Would we want some stranger interfering in our lives? Minor annoyances, such as kids crying in Wal Mart are not even on my radar of important things I need to take care of.

This guy is clearly nuts. The child in question was 2 years old and even if the kid was 13, you just don't hit other people's children, no matter how obnoxious. Unless, of course, you want to go to jail and have your creepy mug shot plastered all over the news.

I can't believe it, what gives him the right? My three are very rarely little angels in the store. Most of the time, they are just ok. I do my best to get in and through with as little fuss as possible and if the inevitable happens I grab the bare necessities to get out. If we are in a restaurant and it happens, my child is given one warning and if the behavior persists than I remove them to the car and I tell them it is because they are interrupting others' meals and that is not acceptable. But hello, Wal-mart, the adults are usually by far the worst behaved there.

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