The 10 Month Check Up

Does your near 10 month old:

Pull up to standing in the tub which has no rubber mat but rather an extremely slippery and dangerous surface no matter how many times you continue to sit her back down?

Finally relegated to sitting, dump cups and washcloths full of water out of the tub?

Immediately roll and crawl away when her diaper is being changed, making a pathway of shit on the bed or floor?

Pretend like getting dressed is some form of torture?

Act really hungry but then nurse for two seconds because the wind blew in a different direction?

Bite your boob and then laugh because that shrieking sound you made was pretty fucking hilarious?

Shove 40 small pieces of food in her mouth and then spit them all out?

Refuse to wear a bib because OMG IT'S STRANGLING ME?

Eat whatever she finds on the ground that is not the 40 small pieces of food even if it's a dead bug?

Empty any accessible cabinets and drawers, particularly ones you just organized?

Applaud her own uncanny ability to undo any semblance of order you had in your home?

Awaken waaaaaaaay too many times during the night because she's spitting out the 40 pieces of food and more interested in the passing breeze and biting your nipple during the day?

 

Sounds like everything is just perfect.

[Photo via Joy Unexpected]

Comments

[Jes]

Oh my goodness. This cracked me up!! My DD is also 10 months old. There's nothing better :)

[Heidi]

You have three kids and you ORGANIZE?

[Tia]

Oh baby Margot, your growing so fast! She looks so healthy and happy. Gold star for the momma!

[jenni]

killer photo. i mean, that face. THAT FACE.

[Kelly]

Okay, I was going to comment on the 10-month old 'benchmarks', but then I got to the delicious behbeh at the end and all of that just flew right out the window, because, my god, the cheeks, the chin, the arms! Nom nom!

[EmmieJ]

Ah, yes...the nipple biting. Definitely the best part of nursing a kid this age.

Adorable pic. So glad everything is on track. ;)

[Lisa Kay]

O.....M.....G!!! Love the expression in this pic!

[Julie]

As the first time mom of an almost 10 month old, I cannot tell you how much this RELIEVED me (and of course made me laugh). Thanks for the validation.

[Kerrie]

Yes to all of the above for the freshly minted 1 year old. Don't forget, refuses human dinner and proceeds to eat dog chow. Also, washes hands in toilet bowl then immediately shoves in mouth for full flavor. As for nursing, We weaned a few weeks ago, in retaliation Tess now sinks her 8 lovely teeth into momma's boob and then leans way back with taffy stretching technique that helps produce funny sounds from Mom's mouth.

[JHP]

You took the words right out of my mouth. Same age, same annoying, yet lovable, habits. Just subtract the boob part, because we gave that up, and add an obsession with climbing stairs and splashing in the dog's water bowl. Gotta love it...

[julie]

Hysterical.

[Amara]

... all that and goofy lookin' too. On the plus side you'll know what she'll look like when she's a bald and senile old woman.

[Bitsy]

You just described my life.

[patois]

Oh, she got a great picture of her! And I think I had that 10 month old a number of years ago.

[Christy]

The fact that you probably just sat down and wrote this all off the top of your head in about 10 minutes is a tribute to you, motherhood, and your adorable Margo. What a million dollar smirk, I mean, smile.

[Mandy]

ah yes... ode to the end of babyhood. I miss those days now that Jake aka destructo-boy can run (intsead of crawl) to everything he is about to destroy.

[psumommy]

Sounds like she's right on track! And that picture is PERFECT. What a fantastic capture!

[paperfairies]

Oh dear lord of the flowerpots her face. HER FACE. too much

[Heather]

I can relate, for sure.

[cjwsbg]

Very cute!

[Amy]

Yes. 11 months old now and yes. Also drinking from the dog's bowl - you missed that one. Oh and eating the dirt from the plant. Good times :)

[J from Ireland]

That picture is just class. I just had to show my husband that picture. Adorable. I can't remember what you wrote after looking at your lovely baby!!

[Adventures In Babywearing]

Sounds exactly like my 10 month old!!

Steph

[ame i.]

At that age I enjoyed when my daughters: clamped hard on a nipple,pulled & got the cute cross-eyed look b/c they wanted to see how far my nip could stretch; fall asleep after nursing only to clamp right back on as I put them in the crib; making me lean over trying to extract myself was an added bonus.
Seeing 10 month old daughter the first plunge herself head-first into her running bath was great, considering I was having a pee-pee on the toilet at the time. I saved her & got to mop the floor afterward!
I liked trying to solve the mystery of "how the heck did you get ahold of a sponge" while fishing tiny pieces of said sponge from the mouth of daughter the 2nd.
Daughter the first didn't say much at 10 months, but the child not only walked but could RUN. RUN, I say, and FAST!
Daughter the second spoke very clearly at 1 but couldn't be bothered to walk,cruising was fine. At 14 months, rather than take her first unassisted step or 2, she took 15 very steady steps so she could check out whatever interesting thing our cat was doing at the time.
Ya know, kids just do these things to freak us out.

[Lara]

No, but I had a couple ex-boyfriends who used to do some of those things. I'll let you guess which ones...

[amanda]

Dude, she did minus the shit.

[Jen]

Yes, yes, yes and yes. She's 13 months now so add stumbling around the living room like a drunk to that list. What a cutie you have though.

[Issa]

A lot of this sounds dam familiar. Except, H will eat everything put near him, always. Until he is done and then he love to play the, how far is my aim game. Which also, is lovely. Ha.

She's adorable K.

[Heather]

Sounds like my 10 month old. THANK GOODNESS she is not brain damaged! My daughter also does some of the things that Lisa said her son does too (except for pulling the cats fur since she learned at 6 months old not to mess with kitty). Thank you for helping me realize that I am not the only mother going crazy...

[Lady Mama]

You should start a Baby Center alternative, because honestly I'd much rather get an email asking if my baby is doing those things than the usual waffle I don't even read any more. She is very cute!

[Jennifer A]

Yup, my son used to pick up everything on the floor and shove it in his mouth at that age. We used to determine if it was edible or inedible by the look on his face.

[Manic Mommy]

Thanks for reminding me that there are worse things than the four year old. On second thought, I think I'd take the 10-month old.

[Meredith]

Ha! She IS perfect, and just gorgeous. And apparently has an awesome sense of humor as well.

[Jennifer]

Oy vey! Mine is only 7 months and loves to hear the word "no" SO much that he will do anything that makes me say it again and again. I can only imagine!

[Mama Alles]

Yes Yes, this will pass though enjoy it. And that face, how could you be mad at that. She is totally say "I have no idea what in the hell you are talking about!"

[Katie]

Hooray! My 10 month old is a genius. She can do all of the ever so endearing things on the list. Also favorites of hers.... splashing in the dog's water bowl, pulling her sister's hair, and throwing food from the high chair tray when it no longer pleases her.

[Elisa]

Oh yes, Margot is absolutely perfect and charming and just meeting her at BlogHer made me want to have a 3rd child. Then I remembered my size 18 ass and my still-not-sleeping through the night toddler, at home.

But she's atill perfect :-)

[Lisa]

Yes, Dr., my 10 month old does all of those things (except the tub thing, he showers with his dad)
BUT WAIT! He also giggles hysterically at the word 'NO!', pulls my shirt down in public, throws things on the floor, just so he can say 'uh-oh', pulls the cats fur and holds it out to examine it like it is a scientific experiment, and hurls himself across toys, couches and persons without any respect for gravity because, you know, the remote/cell phone/empty Mountain Dew bottle spoke to him and pleaded to be played with.

He also believes that my exit from a room means I am NEVER returning and he'll NEVER be fed again and his little world crumbles if he even SUSPECTS I am THINKING about going to the bathroom. It's cool though, cuz once he stops wailing, he knows to climb the stairs and pound on the bathroom door until I come out, at which point he can return to happily playing by himself.

I'm exhausted... how bout you?

[Tara]

Ahh, yes. This all sounds familiar. She's SUCH a cutie. All your kids are, though. I know you're enjoying them. :)

Can't wait for the book!