I'll see your lingerie with pockets and raise you...

I have to admit that the lingerie with pockets was a huge step up from past "romantic" gifts I've received from my husband - including a large candle in a jar, really awful perfume (especially bad for someone allergic to perfume), and my favorite, the bouquet of flowers with the $1.99 orange clearance tag still attached.

God love him but I swear it's a Philly thing. It's like a disease - knick knacks, weird accents, and bad lingerie.

So today on my Mominatrix podcast (yes, I have a podcast! It's about sex. What aren't you listening to it?), Whipping Boy and I will be discussing the worst romantic gifts ever.

You can share them on twitter using the hashtag #mominatrix, or chat live during the Morning Sex with Mominatrix podcast (10:30am EST).

I know you've gotten something "better" than a little nightie with pockets.

Related Mominatrix Links: Twitter (ahem), Facebook Fan Page (errrhermmm), Book Site (Cough Cough)

Comments

[Camryn]

Did I mention he also got me gross-smelling caffeinated soap and a "Make Your Own Straw System" kit to make a complex drinking straw? And an eraser. Yeah. ... Just stick with books and you're safe. ;)

[Camryn]

It was our first Valentine's Day together, two months before our one year anniversary when he got me a cheap chocolate "rose" that was covered in crappy red foil and had a bendable stem from Cub Foods. Even though I don't like chocolate. Not that it mattered, because he ate it almost immediately after he gave it to me (before I could even tell him that I didn't want it!) And that was it for our Valentine's day. LOL

But in his defense he has gotten MUCH better. He regularly brings me random treats like my favorite foods and candy, carries me to bed when I've fallen asleep on the couch, picks me beautiful wildflowers whenever he goes on a weekend trip up North, and even beat out two other guys in a contest at the Renaissance Festival (rowdy/raunchy crowd, oh man!) two win me a rose even though he was scared to death to be in front of so many people. :)

I'm very happy to be marrying him.

[Asianmommy]

How about a universal remote? :)

[Manic Mommy]

A recumbent exercise bike. While we were still dating.

He showed it to his mother and she immediately brought him to a jewelry store.

[cjwsbg]

LOL...back when my husband and I were dating...he handed me a red nightie...after wearing it a couple times, I inquired where he got it...it was his ex-girlfriend's. He bought it for her, but she only wore it a few times...

(and as I type...I was smirking...he asked...what? I read him the above...he said...well, it was either that, or throw it away. It's not like it was underwear or anything.)

hehehe...MEN!

[Jennifer]

Oh my! Well, my husband and I were right in the midst of a rough patch. As in, near divorce, serious trouble on the home-front kind of stuff. He went out for a drive. I stayed home wondering if this was really going to happen. He calls me and says he wants to work things out. He brings home a Nintendo Wii- so we can spend time together. So, I guess the 'idea' was sweet, but...

[Issa]

Oh I can not wait to listen to that one later. (Kids are in the room now.)

For our third anniversary, I received seeds. To plant my own flowers. I literally asked him where his new wife who planted crap was hiding, because he sure as hell didn't buy those for me. Not my, nor his strongest moments. Course, we were sleep deprived new parents then too. (Let it be known that I am allergic to most flowers, I wouldn't know how to plant if my life depended on it even now and we lived in a condo at the time.)

[Di]

Let me think - there was the rainbow-colored rhinestone bracelet with coordinating red rhinestone butterfly earrings for my 33rd, and a fancy spoon rest for my 37th and remote control thing for my camera. Guess who's been using said remote ever since... (In his defense, he'd also just gotten me sapphire studs for Christmas the week before, and usually does pretty well, but those stand out as pretty lame-ass.)

[Meredith]

After two years of cards and for every event I warned my husband that I wanted a real gift for my birthday. So he came home all proud of himself and gave me this cheap basket of bath products from Target. It was pretty yucky smelling and not even wrapped. I couldn't really be mad but ewww.

[MeL]

I once got my husband his favorite book from adolescence, got in touch with the author, fedex'ed the book to the guy and got him to sign it and ship it back. This was while we were still just dating.

He's given me some great ones, too, don't get me wrong. Some nice jewelry (sadly, I prefer my $5 flea-market boho necklace finds), regular fresh flowers (which I inevitably forget to water and so kill off in the first few days) and even an iPod. (Which he immediately bogarted and filled with all his favorite music.)

But at least he's trying, right? Plus, the man does laundry. LAUNDRY. I can't complain. (but i manage to anyway.)

[McKenzie]

One year he told me that my Christmas present would be late because he had to special order it. Finally in February I received a pair of custom made FLOOR MATS for my car. How do you keep a straight face when he is extremely proud of his purchase? I tried but couldn't. And when I called my mom to tell her about it she was oohing and aahing about how practical he is.

[Hellcat13]

Hee...like I said on Twitter, I think the least romantic gift I've ever received from my husband was the windshield wipers. In his defense, I did say "oh, just get me some new wipers; I don't need anything." So that's what he did!

I love the boy to death; I really do. He's wonderful and thoughtful and so good to me...but he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body! I overlook it because he empties the dishwasher and takes out the compost, two jobs I hate :)

He also bought me knives for Christmas, but since they were a set I'd been coveting for 4 years and had never bought, I was ecstatic.