Facebook friending frenzy follow-up

After much discussion, we have since resolved the Facebook friending frenzy of 2009. It's quite clear that my husband is just a little bit clueless when it comes to social media, particularly when drunk.

I suppose I should be thankful for this fact because that means all his brain power and energy are going into safely flying planes and keeping his ass alive while he's in the desert next month.

Now to be clear, I don't completely blame Fat Tire's long awaited arrival to Georgia for his faux pas.

It's a combination of just being a doofus and his own what I've come to call "mean mommy issues," where instead of just telling the truth, he's dishonest for fear of his mom's wrath.

Or in this case, my wrath. Oh the irony, Mr. Freud.

Sadly, until he gets over the fact that it has more to do with his own mother and less to do with me, I don't necessarily see him completely getting it.

And right now, I'm okay with that.

Thankfully, he does come around rather quickly these days, and he managed to drag the kids to the mall and buy me some fancy lingerie. With pockets, even!

And considering he had to deal with both kids tossing underwear and using the plastic drawers as bongos at Victoria's Secret, I find the nightie and thong a little extra endearing.

Okay, so he doesn't completely get the make-up gift giving thing either, but hey, baby steps. At least this time he bought the right size and not four sizes too big with padded cups.

But let's just say the real lesson here is that I should have known better than to assume that the sender of nasty emails was a 20-something sex kitten with a porn star name.

Apparently, sort of larger set 40-something women can have sexy names and write graphic emails.

So, never assume that your husband actually knows what he's doing on Facebook and never judge a woman by her name.

Comments

[Char]

Really, there could have been worse things that could have happened. I am glad for your family's sake that all is okay :-)

[Mark]

So now that I know you have Fat Tire in GA (the closest to MD that it gets is NC) I know what those pockets are for. One side for a FT Amber and the other for a bottle of 1554. I'm glad that things are resolved, well at least in the non-Freudian realm and that he'll get a remedial lesson in Social networking.

[Barry O]

Hey that's good. But don't dis my Fat Tire.

[Amy]

So...did he "unfriend" or delete this woman that caused a problem in your marriage before? And did he do it in front of you?

[Kelly]

Glad to hear everything is ok!! I gotta tell you when I read how facebook re#~^*ed up my marraige, I had to go and lurk in my hubbies e-mail, fb account and myspace. I was a busy girl for an afternoon.

[tuesday]

Someone has "mean mommy" issues here too.

VS is better than a dildo! Or hand soap!

[Katie]

I was right! We have a fear of telling Mom around these parts too.

And just so you know it can get worse, get this.... I am at my sin-laws house. A house that is 100% NOT BABY PROOFED. The eight month old is sick and teething and my two year old is screaming somewhere in the distance. See... now don't you feel better?

[tng]

Tell @backpacking dad I don't appreciate him talking about me like that.

Even though, you know, it's TRUE.

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

Mmmm...Fat Tire. That would have been an even better gift than lingerie.

[The Search For ME]

I just started reading your blog and I love it! I love how honest you are about everything. I just started my own blog (like LITERALLY just started... I've got three posts, I think) and I haven't yet found my voice. Everything I write sounds prim and proper and vaguely like an English homework assignment. I just wanted a place to talk and not have my friends or family be judgmental about whatever stupid thing I had done or my husband or my kids did. Thanks for such a great example! I'll continue to soldier on and hope I get better.

Oh, and the point of this comment is that I completely sympathize-that's totally something my husband would do!

[Her Bad Mother]

Wait - the lingerie had pockets? For what? WHERE?

[LiteralDan]

Count me in the crowd who wants to know where the pockets go.

And what exactly do you need pockets for? Condoms? Handcuff key? Mints?

[mom, again]

aaah! I should have read this before asking on the last post if your hubs is just FB naive. evidently, yes.

My husband is amazingly clueless about FB. He's a professor who thinks all day about extremely complicated statistical analysis. He's been on-line since long before most of us could be. But computers for him are for work. He's never gotten into games, or surfing the webs, or reading blogs. He finally joined FB because so many of his peers began to, but he really doesn't 'get' it.

He called me once to ask what it meant that he needed to confirm that our daughter listing him as her dad was OK. What did that mean?, he wondered aloud, that he was her dad? It's not existensial, I told him, it just means that, well, your her dad and now other people can see that noted on FB.

[Joy @ Mommys Joy]

My hubbies in the dog house right now too with a little lie of omission. His thought was "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" Except he's terrible at lying so I busted him. Nothing major really but he found out that lies of omission hurt just as much. And he's feeling the pain right now. This too shall pass but I just wanted to let you know that I'm right there with you! We'll just breath deep and try not to pat our adult children on the heads.

[Haley-O]

Lingerie...with pockets! I'm going to have to look into that!

[Melissa Beth]

I just want to know if SHE was drinking when she Facebooked your "Huz." Hope she got deleted.

[ame i.]

My husband knows all of my passwords and I know all of his, even the ones for his work. It isn't a trust issue as much as it's an "Oh crap,what did I change this password to?"

[Asianmommy]

Good point--get the information straight first. Then, get mad. :)

[ali]

I wonder if he was in VS the same day my kids and I got kicked out. hahaha!

[Aidan Donnelley Rowley]

Love this. Internet activity + booze is always dangerous. I appreciate your honesty and humor about big life topics like trust and commitment. Interesting to think of all the ramifications the explosion in social media is having (and will continue to have) on our relationships with others (and indeed with ourselves). New to this world, but I enjoy your blog and your writing. Thanks.

[DCUrbanDad]

What do you need the pockets fer?

[Angela]

Ok. So I think I have to see a photo of lingerie with pockets. Where are the pockets? Why on Earth would lingerie have pockets. It's not like you're wearing it for all that long.

[Aunt Becky]

Dude. I hate being Mean Mommy to someone 2 years my senior.

[usedtobeme]

LOL So, never assume that your husband actually knows what he's doing on Facebook and never judge a woman by her name so very true!

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@prescott - oh god. the candle. see i blocked that out.

[prescott]

At least the lingerie is a step up from a candle.

[Emily]

Drunk facebooking is baaaaaaad news. And I think there are a lot of men who don't get social media (my husband is convinced that Twitter is full of people writing "I'm eating a burrito")

Glad you guys talked it out.

And lingerie with pockets? Where are the pockets?

[Karen (Submommy)]

So glad. Yay. And even if the bra had been 4 sizes too big, it's the gesture.

I think.

But, FB is a strange little animal. If you don't have your head on straight it can be dangerous. It sounds to me like his head is on a little straighter than in the past.

Cheers, Kristen. Raising a Fat Tire to you guys.

[Manic Mommy]

"Trust but Verify."

Glad things are on an upswing.

[psumommy]

One of the joys of having set up my hubby's account and therefore knowing the password. Although, thankfully, i haven't felt the need to 'check in' for quite a while now. Heh. I'm glad you got it all (sorta) cleared up!

And...lingerie has pockets? Do tell! I need some of those!

[Backpacking Dad]

Big girls need love too.

[The Big Blue Frog]

Thanks for the followup. I linked to the original on Facebook. "Oh, the irony."

I keep all of my old girlfriends over on MySpace, where they belong. Okay, so there's only one of them, but she's relegated to the MySpace friend pool anyway. Really, I can't NOT be friends with her. She introduced me to my wife, and it was her suggestion that we start dating.

[JHP]

Fat Tire is nice. Real Ale is a great brewery, too, but I am not sure if they distribute outside of Texas.

Glad to hear y'all talked it out! As if life, love and marriage aren't complicated enough without throwing social media into the mix!

Later gator!

[Melanie]

Ahh phew. So, normal, then. lol! Although, MOST people are kind of clueless when drunk. Drunk and Facebook should 99% of the time not go together.

[Mom101]

Isn't it funny how we're more or less threatened depending on what the Other Woman looks like? We should be equal opportunity jealous wives!

[Boston Mamas]

So, um, did he unfriend her??

Otherwise, glad things are copacetic. -Christine

[Keyona]

Glad you cleared that up. Now I'm off to hack my husband Facebook account. He claims he doesn't have one but I'll beat the truth out of him. Either that or hold out the goods until he confesses.

[J]

Oh man, you just got Fat Tire? We have had it a long time and used to transport it all over the country for various friends. Yum!

[BJC123]

Happy to hear you and your husband have come to terms.
I wish my daughter's marriage problems could be sorted out as easily...

BJC !

[Amelia Sprout]

I'm still trying to picture something from VS with pockets. It just isn't working, I'm intrigued.

So glad to hear that it calmed down, and that Fat Tire has arrived. When it got here I told my mom she was off the hook for having to bring it home for Christmas every year.