Couples who fly together stay together

I'm reminded why people fly after attempting another road trip to the beach with my family.

It's only 5 hours! It'll be fun! We'll play car games and the kids will sleep and we won't even need the dvd player. HAHA!

Except I'm married to a pilot, who hates to drive anywhere, and I have three children crammed into the backseat of my trailblazer who are firmly against car games and car sleeping.

Even with the assistance of Benadryl.

Oh yes I did.

In the long scheme of things, the drive really wouldn't be that bad, if we could actually leave the house on our planned departure time.

Or better, my planned departure time.

You know you're in trouble when you've got the entire car packed with your stuff and the kids stuff and 4000 beach toys and your husband yells "I'll be done packing in a minute."

Sigh.

Once we're on the road, I should expect that we'll have to drive back to the house at least three times so when it's only twice (once for his wallet, once for his jeans), I'll be thankful.

Too bad he didn't remember the huge cooler of beer and milk until we got outside of Savannah, or when we were taking the long scenic route to Interstate 75 because he got that confused with 85.

I realize they do intersect at one point North of Atlanta (the brilliant road planning at work again), but seriously, he flies with these ridiculously complicated maps. You can't see that 75 and 85 are very different roads?

Thankfully, our computer being charged by our cigarette lighter lasted through one entire DVD (and one long extended tour of central Georgia) before completely crapping out.

We don't need no stinkin' DVD player!

Yeah right.

Aside from listening to my son ask for food the entire trip and my daughter proclaim her lack of intelligence because she couldn't figure out how to play the alphabet animal game, the best part is always trying to determine where to stop.

We discuss where would be the best resting point for at least an hour before it happens, and each time we decide that wouldn't be the good one, we drive to the next one and it's always worse.

In this case, it was a shitty gas station infested with flies, which we spent the next 40 miles shooing out of the car at 75 mph with the windows down.

The kicker was when we finally got to about 4 miles from the beach and my directions said go "Left to 17S" and left was marked 17N.

"It says go left but that's North!" I said.

"Well maybe you should learn how to read!" he replied, obviously frazzled from a long, awful ride, one which takes him just under 20 minutes to fly.

"Well... maybe you shouldn't be... um... an... ASS!"

Yeah, I said it. I did.

So, needless to say, I probably won't be getting laid on this trip.

But on the bright side, the view is practically orgasmic.

Thank you Jekyll Island Authority for sending us on this awesome trip. Although if I lose my sanity... Eh well, it's already half gone.

Comments

[Saltgirl]

You know you're in trouble when you've got the entire car packed with your stuff and the kids stuff and 4000 beach toys and your husband yells "I'll be done packing in a minute."

OMG - you're married to my husband too?

[mom, again]

my husband doesn't pack, or drive.

When we first got together, my car was still technically owned by my exhusband. So, couldn't let my new boyfriend drive it. Besides, he didn't have a U.S. drivers license. Even after I finally bought the car, our pattern was set, I did 90% of the driving.

Later, when all the above changed, his driving habits drove me NUTS. He drives so ultra safely he's gonna get us killed by some ass on the freeway who doesn't understand someone actually going the speed limit. Or someone at an intersection is gonna lose it and come after us when he forgets about that whole American 'right on red' thing.

We've spent the last two years in his home country. His excuse of being trained to a higher standard is totally bogus, I know now. He's just as overcareful about the rules and yet amazingly inattentive to what is going on around him. Thus creating dangerous situations he can barely maneuver out of. But, I never got a DL there, so have been suffering.

We are home now. I drive.

I also double-check his packing.

[mrs chicken]

Jekyll Island is so gorgeous. Have a nice time, no matter who gets laid!

[Shared Decision Making]

Nice to read your thoughts...yes life is strange and tough at times...but we got to get going and also enjoying our way through it.

[BigLittleWolf]

So funny! A nice intro (for me) to your site.

By the way, it's common knowledge that the womb has special powers. Almost as a good as a GPS. Locates errant keys, wallets, passports, and occasionally money. Unfortunately, it doesn't work with missing socks.

[Sue Rodman]

Before your next trip, try www.pitstopsforkids.com. It lists lots of places along interstates to rest -- that aren't fly infested. If you're still at Jekyll - definitely take the kids to Driftwood Beach (http://www.fieldtripswithsue.com/search/label/Jekyll%20Island) and the Tidelands Nature Center. We did the fish program ($2 a kid I think) and it was awesome. Boys are still singing Dorsel, Pectoral, Pelvic Coddle to the tune of Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes. The Turtle Center is also very cool. Email me and I'll send you the post I prepared for Travel Savvy Mom on 5 things to do at Jekyll. It hasn't been posted yet or I'd give you the link. My email is sue@fieldtripswithsue.com. If you and the hubby are still speaking and get a night out, go to St. Simons and eat at the Georgia Sea Grill. It's great and not that expensive. It's tucked away off the pier, so you'll never happen upon it. St. Simons Downtown is a great place for kids too. Lots of playgrounds, a brand new pool, mini-golf and the boys love to crab off the pier or just watch what others have pulled up.

[amanda]

The New Girl has all the right answers :)

[lynn2009]

God, I love this blog!!! You sisters are a scream. So thankful my husband is an ex, my children are grown, with their own nightmares to enjoy and I get to sit back and absorb your adventures with pleasure. Thank you. And I do have a minivan!

[Asianmommy]

One time we made a trip to Indiana, and the GPS system got lost and kept telling us that we were in the middle of Lake Michigan. Um...no, we're not!

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@Karen and @JHP - Here's something I stole from my BFF - thenewgirl.typepad.com

Just reply with this the next time they ask you for something:

"If it was up your ass, you'd know"

It has quite a nice ring to it.

[JHP]

@Karen - I cannot handle being asked "have you seen my ____?" one more time. How about freakin' pay attention to your surroundings and keep up with your own freakin' stuff?!?! Arghhh... ok, I feel better now.

[Jennifer]

Oh lord, driving ANYWHERE with my husband is a complete nightmare. Seriously.

[Meredith]

I give up completely when I'm in the car with my husband. Even though I have a much better sense of direction. It's so much easier to just cover my eyes and ignore the fact that he has no idea where he is.

[Mrs Soup]

Beautiful! And well worth it! But mostly because the trip is done...

[Monica @ Mommy Brain Reports]

Beautiful view!!! We had a similar view on our trip to OceanIsleInn last week!
Oh.. and try driving cross country in a minivan in oh... 4 days!!!! Even with just 2 kids.. I still had a dog, a husband, nearly missed a wildfire, a couple of tornadoes and a major thunderstorm that included hail... You think your sanity was gone in 5 hours??? I think I left my sanity in CA somewhere down the interstate...
What I'm saying is... I completely understand...

[SoMo]

I am not one for the flying, especially with the kids. Mainly, it is because of all the stuff we pack. We flew when we had just one kid and while it wasn't the worst, it wasn't fun at all. The layovers are the worst. I can't imagine wrangling 3 kids in an airport.

I say get a DVD player, STAT. When we got our SUV with the built in, I thought I will only use it on long trips and then not the whole time. Yeah, whatever. That thing has saved us when we were running from hurricanes and in the car for 14 hours. Oh yeah, that is right. Now, it saves me from kicking my kids out of the car when I have to stop and nurse the baby while we are on our way to the next activity. The husband and I wouldn't be able to talk on road trips without the DVD player. So, yeah, I had good intentions, but then real life reached up and smacked some sense into me.

[Nancy from Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas]

I got the Touring edition of my Honday specifically because of the DVD player. Yes, we have the "One hour trip of more" rule about it's use, but that thing kept me from driving off a bridge on our last trip to San Diego.

[Motherhood Uncensored]

@muskrat - thing is. with a minivan, my kids are too small to reach down and pick anything up, so if anything falls down, i'm screwed because i can't reach them. so. HA!

Also, we have gps on the iphones. and yes @julie/momslant - it was google maps. Bastards!

[katie]

Oh and I TOTALLY agree with the minivan comment.

[katie]

Girlfriend, spend the moolah and get a freaking GPS. And then spend some more moolah and get DVD players in the car. I got these nifty headrests with the DVD player already BUILT IN. Just pop off your old headrest and pop in the new one. (Well, we had an installer do it... but still).

Trust me.

[Jill]

I couldn't even drive an hour to the zoo yesterday without the DVD player! You are a brave woman!

[julie]

I also got screwed by Google Maps. Led me to a phantom hotel RIGHT ON THE HIGHWAY. Yeah.

I love road tripping. With my husband it was always a blast and I discovered this summer that my son is a natural. My daughter..well, I'm not ready to even try it yet.

Kudos to you. Any chance your husband can fly home with the kids while you take a leisurely drive back?

[Julie @ The Mom Slant]

Did you get your directions from Google Maps. They fucked me over TWICE this past weekend.

[Elizabeth]

My family (four kids, two adults and usually a cousin or two) used to drive from Michigan to central Mexico (and back) once a year for at least 15 years without a VHS or DVD player. That would explain why we can all 1) fall asleep absolutely anywhere (did I mention there were zero hotel stops on these trips), 2) fall asleep within 5 minutes of sitting in a car, and 2) have zero personal space. And we can hold it for miles, which is useful.

My boys (almost 5 and 2.5) are on the right track, going from Chicago to Michigan and Chicago to Florida by car regularly. Although, I did cave and got them a DVD player. I love road trips. Good thing my husband loves to drive :-)

[muskrat]

Know what would've made this trip significantly better? A minivan.

[adele]

Oh My God, I thought I was the only one who didn't let their husbands pack.

[marty]

My husband doesn't pack.

[Angie in Texas]

my gal pals and i refer to it as "bendryl desperate" . . .

[Casey]

I was never a fan of road trips, either. Then, I was forced into one (ill sister, 3 kids, seemed easier to drive since 2 were 2 and under and my husband was traveling).

I've been hooked ever since. We drove from KC to Dallas to San Diego, through the Grand Canyon and then back to KC this summer. 4941 miles. 78 hours total in the car. Yes, we're crazy. But, we laughed a lot!

[Karen]

Isn't the beach the best??? Relaxing, frosty beverages, reading a book, spending time with the husband. Oh wait, you have 3 kids. I'm sure it'll be fun anyway...

My husband always waits until the night before we leave to pack, when I'm in bed, trying to sleep. And all I get is, "Have you seen my..." Men.